Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

Don't ask people about their fertility.

Playing music or movies without headphones on public transport! I don't want to listen to your crappy music, or even music I like.

We had an engagement bbq with 28 people (22 adults 6 kids). I had kebabs, wings, sausages, ribs, sliders and 22 special 8oz butchers burgers (one for each adult) and 7 different sides.

My husbands nephew turned up just as food was being set out, he took 5 of the 8oz burgers on a plate and took and entire side dish to eat on his own and the tray of wings. Left none for anyone else.

He had no concept that you don’t over take on things but let everyone get something then you can go up again and get seconds.

He was 17. Both his parents and grandparents were there and no one corrected him. He has been that entitled his entire life and still is to this day.

I do acknowledge anyone stopping for me at the local zebra crossing, because quite a few don’t stop. So I like to encourage those who do.

I'm sorry but the peas one is fucking stupid. Someone was having a laugh making that one up and all the little sheep following. Most etiquette I can see value in but trying to make eating peas fancy is hilarious.

Letting your child chew gum at a parents' evening when both meeting with the teacher. I was so shocked the first time! My mum would have been appalled if I'd done that.

A thread on here a little while back revealed that some don’t give a courtesy wave or nod of thanks to drivers when crossing a zebra crossing.
Sorry - just seen this was already posted 😴

Eating with your mouth closed. So many people talk with a gob full of food and it makes me want to vomit. I don’t mean having conversation and covering your mouth to answer or at the end of a mouthful I mean mid big bite so I can see the mouthful

People cycling on roads in a long line- had 6 in a row head to toe last weekend! Need to leave a decent gap for overtaking to prevent frustration

@AmITotallyBonkers My mother always opened my post when I was living at home. Quite often she would tell me what was in it before I had a chance to read it. Now with emails my DH asks me what has been said when I say I have received an email from a friend. I occasionally wonder if I’ve married my mother . I’ve always loved writing letters and now use emails to keep up with a wide variety of friends so I suppose it’s my own fault.

Blimey, I’d certainly have said something! Excuse me, but there’s one burger each - you really can’t have all those!

And I wouldn’t GAF what he or anyone else thought.

How can people bring their children up to be so disgustingly greedy and selfish?

I am a cyclist, but I find MAMILs who go on their weekend ego cycles on single carriageways and refuse to let any drivers overtake them absolutely insufferable. There's a particular road near Bradford which is awful for this.

It is also ilegal

Um, yes!

I do cringe when I see a napkin tucked into a top, but then I also spend a lot of time cleaning greasy marks off my tops!

Just goes to show we're all different. I'd always ask first. I find it quite annoying as the host to be basically forced to do immediate laundry. And in the meantime the cats would be dancing around on the mattress protector!

I mean yes definitely clear up after yourself.

This is mine too.

I have heard of this but never met anyone who actually did it.

i did my undergrad at Cambridge so plenty of opportunity to meet people who do…

If I am walking with my DP, we always go single file when approaching someone.
Years ago, I was walking towards two women who both had pushchairs, and they point blank refused to move. I had to step into the road, with the traffic coming up behind me.

I read a tip from someone on here... if people are looking like they wont go single file to let you pass safely, then just stop and stand still. They will move round you.

I send thank you cards to elderly relatives every year thanking them for gifts they send my children. Actually, more accurately, I make my children send them now that they are old enough to write.
It's an absolute requirement with the rule being that if they are not done by the end of the school Christmas Holidays, the gifts/money will be confiscated. It's never happened yet!
Anyway, one year after I sent them to DH's Aunt and his grandmother, Aunt wrote a post on Facebook - "we have received a lovely thank you card from our great-nephew Name, so did Nana, we are thrilled he is being brought up with such Excellent manners". I was very chuffed to get a compliment but thought no more of it.

Anyway, turns out Auntie wrote the post as a passive aggressive dig at SIL who has never once, after four children, the eldest of whom was fifteen, in all those years sent a card, a text or any acknowledgement at all of the gifts and money her kids had received for all of their birthdays and Christmases. Not a bean. To her own Auntie and Grandmother!!

And apparently the gossip around the family was that I was sending cards to be a kiss ass and make myself seem better than SIL (who had kids first)

I simply sent them because it didn't occur to me not to. And it certainly didn't occur to me that SIL would have been so rude as to not thank her own family.

Only if you aren’t opening it with the intent of getting it to its rightful recipient.

I wouldn't dream of doing this or expect guests to do it. They are guests.
I'd remove the sheets and clean the room after they left.

I don't care for social conventions that don't affect anyone else- like pyjamas at hotel breakfast or how to eat peas with a fork.

I do care about appropriate clothing for funerals and weddings- for funerals because you're showing respect for the dead and should look like you've made an effort, and for weddings because they are going to want photos and don't need that one guest in trackies and trainers pulling focus.

I still don't know why anyone EVER asks a woman if she's pregnant. Unless they are their doctor. Even if she looks like she's about to pop, it's just none of your business.

I find toilet humour revolting and whilst I know some people enjoy it (I don't get what's funny about it but each to their own) I don't know why they keep going when I respond with a blank or disgusted face.

I have been particularly shocked when moving from the North to the South to find people who will invite people over for dinner (particularly BBQs) and instruct people to bring their own food to be cooked, which is just really tacky to me, and also people who show up to dinner or even to stay for a weekend empty handed. Or the time when we had guests stay several days for free at my Mum's nearby B & B with breakfast included, be taken out to several local attractions and for other activities totalling a couple of hundred pound, order a takeaway of their choice at our house and then ask us to pay half.

This and I'm also shocked when people don't text to say thank you for gifts if they open them at a later date. My sister in law does this and I'm half the time left wondering if she got a present for one of her kids until I see them wearing it or playing with it.

Tbf this is nonsense to me. My best mate comes round every week I don’t want her spending money on things to do that. I have her round so we don’t have to spend money to see each other. And my current income is £500 a month (SSP) so sorry I’m not spending 1% of my total income to bring you some sweets for having me over!