Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

About the bread, I wonder what the reason is behind that convention.

I agree. After we have guests we might just put a blanket over the spare bed , bedding and all (cats sit on it) until ready to wash it. No need to strip it at once; in fact, if stripped, it will interrupt the cats' sleeping schedule! 😃

Waving off visitors is something I always used to do as do my family and many friends. However, as my arthritis got worse I found standing still very painful so could no longer do this. Instead, I tend to go to the door with the person leaving my house and warn them about the step before asking to be excused from waving them off and explaining why. Probably unnecessary but it just seems rude to me to shut the door as soon as someone steps out of my house. As soon as I recover from my second knee replacement surgery I’ll go back to waiting until people drive off!

They are not going to run you over if you are waiting on the pavement. 🙄

You wash your hands after using the loo.

Too often I do see women go to the loo and just leave. Especially in service stations for some odd reason.

I eat my peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It may taste rather funny
But it keeps them on my knife!

😉

Err...actually, the fork is designed for use as a scoop where necessary. It's an ingenious multi-purpose tool. Prongs to hold food whilst you cut, then transport to your mouth. Curved to enable the user to scoop fragments and awkward food like peas which don't balance nicely on a curved implement. You have much more chance of messily dropping food if you use the curved back to lift at all times.

Yes, one should avoid an attitude of opening oysters, as Herbert Pocket said, but the fork is designed to operate for all types of non-liquid food which may require different techniques of eating. To avoid the elbows problem, you use the fork underhanded when scooping, as you do with a spoon. It is obviously possible to scoop food without jabbing someone with your elbow, otherwise we'd all get a faceful of elbow every time we ate soup with a spoon.

Watching someone's futile attempts to eat peas from the back of a curved fork, rather than make use of its ingenious multi-purpose functionality is ridiculous.

I think the elbow thing is because it takes up more horizontal space, which might be uncomfortable for anyone next to you, and also you're more likely to knock something over - possibly spilling on to someone else.

These conventions often have reasons behind them.

Thanks ... it might actually be the same here. But I think if police saw someone go through a red light I'm pretty sure there would be consequences. If they saw someone drive over a crossing when someone was waiting, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't... I suppose that's the difference I was referring to. But thanks for prompting, it is probably the same here.

not openly, but i have been known to steam it open and glue it shut (using icing sugar and water or egg white in a pinch) learned it off my gran and auntie who learned it off their auntie/great auntie

They are not obliged to stop until you have moved onto the crossing. In some areas drivers whiz past you even when you have stepped on.

I wouldn't go so far as to call it 'unplessant'. What's the point in letting food go cold?

It's a Federal crime in the States if you open any mail that's not addressed to you.

I was once on a interview panel and someone answered their phone mid job interview 😂

I once was sat on a sofa with a coffee table in front. Someone asked 'where is xyz'. It was on the coffee table right in front of me.

I pointed to it with my toes, and the whole room gasped in shock.

Apparently in Asia it is the HEIGHT of rudeness to point at things with your toes.

Thanks for clarifying.

We were not allowed to eat in the street when wearing school uniform and I still can’t now. I was once shopping with my dil and bought sausage rolls. She couldn’t believe that I waited until we were back in the car to eat mine. “omg - you’re so posh” 🤣
I am sure we were also taught to walk on the left of pavements and footpaths weren’t we?

I’d add to that that the people who were at the bus stop first should be first on the bus.

still 100% a thing where I grew up to ask “who’s last?” when you arrive at the bus stop, whereas where I live is very much whoever is closest to where the bus stops.

my vile father does this and if i make a comment he exaggerates it showing me his dirty tongue and making as much noise as possible🤮its one of the many reasons i have begged my mother to realise she deserves better over the years, to no avail.

Everything you said.

I grew up in Madrid and the subway, trains and buses had (have) signs on the window saying "let people out before coming in". Everyone respected it. It was a culture shock coming to Sydney to see people pushing to enter a train before everyone was out. Thankfully it's much better now.

Given thanks to a bus driver was a must. Like it was to vacate seats if an elderly person, a mom with a baby or a pregnant woman was standing. I'm really pleased it hasn't changed, I was on a bus in Madrid last year and a young man let me his seat (while calling me old in kindness while I'm still in my early 60s)

I've also stayed in spa hotels where Russians come in in dressing gowns, straight from their morning treatments.

Err...actually, a fork is curved because if it was flat you'd have to hold it vertically and stab downwards to get the food onto the tines, or else push it into the food sideways, with your elbow sticking out. It isn't curved so that you can use it like a scoop! 🤣 The fork's only purpose is to hold the food securely, and the curve is there so you can get the tines into the food with ease, and then obviously the curve has to continue until the handle.

I can't believe how many people use the curve of the fork as a scoop! It's useless as a scoop! Small, and not deep enough so that peas etc don't fall off on the way to your mouth! You're meant to push the peas down the tines. Think beads on an abacus.

Your second para: Eating soup with a spoon in your right hand is not the same as eating with an upturned fork in your left. When you hold that spoon, you hold it more like a pen. People who turn their fork over tend to have their hand folded over the handle, like how a child eats. This posture forces your elbow out.

If walking on a crowded pavement in a group (say, friends on a lunch break) you get into single file if someone comes from the opposite direction so you don't force them into the road - no one does this anymore!

Haven't read the full thread but I shouted YES out loud to this on the front page. My greatest bugbear. In my experience it's big nuclear families and heterosexual couples who are the greatest offenders, not groups of friends.

If DH's Nana wee alive today, she would be in her late 90s.
The Aunt is currently 75.
I do actually think a text is fine, although I do think a photo is nice, and Nana never owed a smart phone.
It's just for me personally I like a thank you card in the post, there just something nice about it, and it's more personal as it comes directly from the child, in their writing, maybe with a little drawing when they were little.
End of Holidays was the threat, the ultimatum. In practice, cards were usually written and posted on 27th December or a couple of days after the birthday. I did once post on my way out on new year's Eve.
I think that's fine for a card.

For my sister in Australia, I usually send a video of the child opening the present, and them saying thank you. Or just a little thank you video.

If you ask for the bill you’re paying? How on earth does that work? I guess a group of friends just sit there in silence for the rest of time for fear of asking for the bill 😂

Never heard that one and it’s clearly ludicrous.