Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

I use a spoon for my peas. It's what we used to use before forks became commonplace and it's much easier.

Traditional, aye? Forks used to have a thicker tine on one side for eating peas, you'd squish them onto that, from what I remember from a Time Team episode years ago. Similar to a cake fork, I suppose.

eh? if I walk into a toilet and it stinks and I say "ew it smells bad in here" how on earth does that indicate its me? I havent even used it yet.

This makes zero sense because by this rationale you cant ever say anything smells bad then...

You absolutely don't. So rude. My guests are guests, not my domestic staff. If a guest did that in my home then I would be querying who raised them!

All of the knife and fork judgment is very interesting to me. I have to eat with my knife and fork in the "wrong" hands because due to my dyspraxia my hands just don't work any other way. And yes, I tried. End result: took ages to eat and half my food ended up on the table or the floor. Had a boatload of pearl clutching from older relatives as a child but no-one else has ever been obviously bothered by it.

Yes, unless the host/person who cooked says 'please start'. Also, waiting until everyone has finished before leaving the table. As a child, I was expected to ask if I could leave the table, when the adults were taking longer over their food.

I was told off for doing this so now I always ask. Apparantly my dh cousin didn't see any need to change for next guest.🤢

Ascending and descending staircases. At school we were taught the rule that going up the stairs, you stay to the side of the wall. Coming down, you stay to the side of the bannister - this is so you have something to hold on to should you stumble or fall. Nowadays everyone just seems to maks a general rush and walks whichever side they like.

Absolutely, lack of spatial awareness is one of my pet peeves - people who stop on entering the supermarket to adjust their bag/get their shopping list out/whatever when they could just move the trolley to the side and leave the entrance clear.

Always ask "does anyone want the last ??" before taking the last of something
Cutlery goes together when you've finished
Don't cut up your food before you eat unless you're a toddler
When buttering bread in a restaurant butter a small piece and eat it, not the whole piece

A pp mentioned not covering your mouth when you yawn. I recently saw a tv commercial-can't remember what for -had a montage of people yawning without doing this and ended with a dog's big yawn. Made me think that is was counterproductive. No blame on the dog though.

People who eat/take more than their share. For example, 5 biscuits on a plate, 5 people in a meeting. Someone takes 2 biscuits before anyone else has chance to get one. Surprising how often people do this.

Ooh this and don't just leave the table when other people aren't done eating, especially if it leaves one person alone! Bizarre

Random strangers thinking it's OK to give your dog a treat, without even asking. Apart from being rude, my dog had pancreatitis and can't have any of cheap dog treats people carry about. I mean, strangers don't give kids sweets (apart from nefarious purposes!). This never used to be a thing.

I prefer not to use cutlery at all and eat with my hands if I can. Particularly chips and pizza, it absolutely pains me to eat them with a knife and fork. Also love scooping up curry with naan bread or a chapati. Ok I might use a fork to push it on. Mashed potato, peas, beans, anything like that get scooped on my fork. I know it's not "correct" if you are insecure about that kind of thing. I don't give a fuck.

Do what? You open other people's mail? WTF? If DH opened a letter addressed to me there would be words. He doesn't even read postcards addressed to me.

Also all this "scooping your fork makes your elbows stick out". Only if you are inflexible. What are your wrist joints for, do you think?

A few years ago, i had Christmas dinner at my brother and sister in law’s, which they served as a buffet.
There were about 18 people, so, it kinda made sense.

But! I ended up having one roast potato, no pigs in blankets, or Yorkshire puddings.
Everyone else were such locusts when they knew full well, there were other people there as well.

I didn’t want to be there in the first place, so, that be-devilment just made it even worse.

This is a challenging one when there are a lot of people at the table, e.g. a big group out for dinner. How far down the table do you offer before you can pour your own? 😄

my bugbears are people who fill the whole pavement with their group (as others have mentioned here), and also those who stand right across an escalator and have to be asked to move when someone in a hurry comes up behind them. In Germany the escalators have explicit signs "Bitte Sie rechts stehen" (please stand on the right) - I think I used to see similar in the UK but not recently.

When there's a group or two people walking towards you and they refuse to go in single file. I've always taught my kids to walk in front of me if someone is coming the other way. I've also taught them not to step into the road for anyone but to hold there ground untill they move.

But surely if it's a momentary pause it doesn't matter. Leave the way clear for what? An ambulance trolley? Surely it's a much worse breach of etiquette to to rush around all the time and expect people to get out of the way for you, or get upset because someone pauses to adjust their bags as they enter a supermarket.

That you are supposed to offer your seat on a bus or any public transport if you are young and healthy to anyone clearly infirm, pregnant or old.

That your dogs are not supposed to sit on the seats on public transport.

That you aren’t supposed to put your feet up on public transport. Someone has to sit where you have placed your feet.

See I think this is up to the host. I always ask before stripping, and prefer if my guests do the same. Yes - I obviously will wash their towels & bed linen, but I may not do it straightaway - and if you’ve stripped the bed and it’s all sat in this big pile on the floor it’s a big mess that I feel forced to deal with straightaway, when there might be more pressing laundry to do! So I think - asking is the way to go about this one!

A friend of my son's staying for Sunday lunch did this. I'd cooked two chickens so there was plenty for the four meat eaters, with enough for seconds and leftovers for the week. This guy literally piled every last shred of chicken on his plate, it was remarkable to watch.

Yes, quite. I was out with a friend who loves dogs and he was chatting with one while we were having lunch in pub, and asked the owner, "Can I give him a chip?"
Owner said, "I'd rather he had a carrot" - presumably doggie had weight issues. But because friend checked first, everyone was happy.

Cartman and the fried chicken skin..😎