Social conventions you thought everyone knew

[Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes]

The thread started by the lady who's father recently died and people turned up to his funeral in joggers got me thinking.
What is something you thought was basic social etiquette, a rule that everyone lived by, that you were shocked/surprised to see someone not following?
Did it make you judge the person? Wonder if maybe you're just old fashioned? Or something else?

I'll start. At work the other day someone said they were leaving early because they had a hospital appointment. A younger colleague said "oh, what for?". It felt very awkward and the colleague said "oh.. you know, just women's stuff".
I always thought that you never ever ask people for details of medical appointments or why they were off or what OP they are having. It's very rude. Same as you don't ask people how much they earn or who they are going to vote for or questions about their sex life or something!
At first I judged but then remembered she was young and maybe noone had told her.

What's surprised you lately?

This is my one too. Cinema and theatre is absolutely horrendous for this and it always depresses me when I go. People make such a mess and leave some poor minimum wage person to clean up after them. Absolutely grim

just take your own rubbish people. You made it, you clean it!!!

A risotto? What about paella?

I just want to get food into my mouth in peace 😂

When travelling with a four year old on the tube, fold the buggy to go on the escalator and hold the child's hand. Today I had a couple shove the giant buggy complete with child onto escalator, lock the wheels and the totally fail to unlock then at the top, meaning everyone fell over them and the pram. So dangerous and inconsiderate.

Putting your phone to your ear for a conversation and not playing music out loud. It’s like not enough people’s parents have told them to not be so loud!

The pea eating thing has passed me by simply because I hate peas with such a passion. Am now glad I didn’t have to run the gauntlet of eating peas in public.

Horse drawn funeral carriages are just chavvy. Sorry

Now we are three 😊

It doesn't.

I think the practice arose when peas were introduced to the UK, at a time of very strict social conventions.

I put my phone to my ear when I have a call, and feel like a social outcast for it now.
It seems the way to take a call now is talk into your phone like you are eating a slice of pizze.

It applies to everything. Absolutely everything. Never scoop with a fork.

Totally agree.

If you’re going to a wedding and you’re not the bride DON’T WEAR A WHITE DRESS, not even one with a pattern, even jd it doesn’t look bridal. Apart from it being bad manners it makes you look like:

1. You’re trying to upstage the bride
2. You fancy the groom and are trying to show him what he’s missing
3. You want people to think you are the bride

There are a million different dress colours you can choose. Just pick one of those.

Washing meat is a cultural thing, I don't do it, but I'm white British and remember the advert with the glowing chicken juices everywhere!

There's crossed wires when it comes to washing meat with different people imagining different things.

My understanding is that in carribean cooking, and I think other cultures too, 'washing' meat is filling a container and submerging it, maybe in brine, and using citrus and and other things to rub it and is part of the actual recipe. The 'washing' that British people used to do, and have been told not to do for food safety reasons, is literally putting a chicken carcass under a running tap. Obviously this creates chicken juice spray all over the kitchen and gives people food poisoning.

I walked in on my landlady when I was in college 'washing' steak. She had it in her hands, under the tap, and was squeezing it like it was a dishcloth! The dishcloth probably would have had more flavour.

TBH Just because there is a cycle lane, doesn't make it safe. My town has just opened a cycle lane that is on a road that huge lorries hurtle down. I dont think many people will be using that and I don't blame them!

Yes quite and certain lazy members of household would never get off their arse to make anything. They'd just wait for the family mug to do it and clamour that they wanted some too because it would be rude not to offer!

Reminds me of a thread on here where yhe OP thought it rude that her uni age daughter and boyfriend (on PT minimum wage jobs) had ordered a takeaway and not offered to also order for mum dad and their four guests, which would have probably cost them a week's wages. Not to mention the faff of everyone taking half an hour to decide what they wanted when they just wanted a quick treat dinner to eat in front of a film.

Who made this bollocks up? 😂

I eat soup this way too.

We should all meet for soup!

That’s a violation and a chargeable offense.

It is crazy. I'm a fair stickler for etiquette because the 'rules' are there to make life run a little smoother for everyone.

Forcing peas into a precarious mush on the back of your fork makes no-one's life easier, however. I suspect this rule was invented by some snobbish arsehole to make someone they disliked look uncouth!

Many decades ago, when I was 21, I was invited to a friend's wedding. I turned up in a white dress with some blue embroidery on the bodice. I wondered why I was getting some funny looks.

It was years later that I heard about the rule. I was horrified. And nearly fifty years later, I still squirm at the memory.

I assume you have his permission.
Thats a different scenario.

I used to have some extremely posh friends who taught me that a spoon is the right utensil to eat peas with.

Never wear a cap at the dining table! It’s just rude! Take it off once inside

Good god this is so weird

your parents Snd siblings were ok with you seeing and reading their mail ?!??!!

how did you find out ?