Am I wrong to stay out of a falling out between two friends?

[Lilifer]

I am looking for some perspective or advice on a difficult situation with two long term friends.
Two of my closest friends have fallen out. I’ve known both of them for years. One of them, I’ll call her Emma has been slowly and quietly freezing the other one out for over a year. My other friend, I’ll call her Anna had no idea why and has been really hurt and upset by it. To make things worse, Anna has been going through a really serious health challenge during this time and has had very little support. She’s a single mother, not originally from our city, has no family nearby. I felt awful watching Emma treat her this way and honestly I do think it’s been quite unkind.
But if I’m honest, Emma also intimidates me a little. I’ve seen how she operates when she decides she doesn’t like someone or doesn’t approve of them. She can be wonderful when she’s on your side but when she turns on someone she can be quite aggressive and cutting about it. I’ve watched her do it to others and I really don’t want to end up on the receiving end of that myself.
Then Emma removed Anna from our WhatsApp mum friends group publicly, the notification showed everyone that she’d been removed, which was humiliating for Anna and she was devastated and told me so. Up till then she’d never once asked me to take sides or get involved during the eighteen months of Emma gradually freezing her out. But after this she finally asked me directly to have her back, not to fall out with Emma or cause any scenes, just to quietly be less available to her. Less coffee, less socialising, that kind of thing. She said it was what she would do for me without hesitation.
I told her I always have her back and suggested we meet for a walk to talk. But if I’m being honest, I kept avoiding making the time for it because I didn’t want to have the conversation. Because if we talked properly, I might end up feeling like I had to actually do something. And I wasn’t sure I was prepared to do that.
Then I went away on holiday. While I was away I heard about some other upsetting things that had happened to Anna but I couldn’t really face dealing with it so I sent her some holiday videos and asked how her weekend had gone.
When she told me about another hurtful incident involving Emma I didn’t really respond to that at all apart from to send her funny insta cat video. I just couldn’t face it.
Since I got back Anna has gone a bit quiet. She’s not responding when I send her funny videos or light messages. I feel like things are really awkward between us and I don’t know what to do.
I know Anna is isolated, struggling, and has been incredibly patient. I know she’s only ever asked me for one thing. I know I promised a conversation and didn’t follow through. And if I’m honest, I know exactly why things have gone quiet, because she finally saw through my excuses.
Am I wrong? Am I being a coward? And what would you do in my position?

Is saying you have posted a 'reverse' just a nicer way of saying 'my posts are just lies'?

And who knew it would be approved by MNHQ🙄

The thing about reverses is they need internal consistency, which this doesn't have.
I agree with others that this is against the spirit of posting on MN.

I thought misleading posts were against talk guidelines. Is there a special reason this one is okay?

Your husband “worships” the misogynistic arsehole?!

I reported this thread for exactly those reasons.

I also reported it and was told it had been assessed and ok. Seems odd.

I've also reported the thread since the alleged reverse reveal - but MNHQ must either believe it's genuine or simply CBA 🤷‍♀️

How would MN know it was a reverse though - OP is hardly going to tell them before she revealed it on here.

I should think all they check is whether OP is a long standing mnetter, not previously banned, and if those are ok what more can they check?

Now she has done the big 'ta-da reveal', their view may change, but I doubt it. Reveals are not the same as trolling (similar, but not the same)

If this is a reverse, what's all that detailed stuff about a meeting with Emma about, OP? Did you make the whole thing up? Why?

Those concerns were raised before the reverse reveal, so plenty of evidence for MNHQ to look at.

Emma is a bitch and you are a shockingly bad friend.

Per the email I got, when I flagged today, they were told it was a reverse and that was fine with them.

I received an email after i asked if mnhq knew about the reverse and was told they are fine with it.

The whole thread is clearly a load of crap.

I retract my wish to be Anna’s friend. You are all as bad as each other posting this as a reverse, wtaf.

I’ve asked why reverse posters aren’t banned on site stuff board. I just don’t understand the rationale.

Very bad form, @LilyMumsnet. You have criticised a lot of people for troll hunting, yet none of it would ever have happened if OP hadn’t tried to con us all in the first place.

I assume most people change details (names, places, number and gender of children, etc) to avoid identifying themselves and others. That is perfectly reasonable as long as the changes still accurately reflect the circumstances.

Using a reverse could be seen as doing the same thing and that is possibly why it is deemed acceptable by administrators. The poster is laying out the same story, but from a different person's perspective.

The problem is it's impossible to know the real feelings and motivations of someone else. You can take a good guess and if you know the person well your perception might be fairly accurate, but the only way contributors on Mumsnet can properly assess whether the OP is being unreasonable is to tell the story (with unimportant details changed) from her own perspective.

I can understand why OP might have thought a reverse post was a good idea, but by doing it she has caused others to feel suspicious and conned. She is getting less sympathy than she possibly deserves. So, whether allowed by administrators or not, it was probably a bad idea.

A reverse you say? Load of nonsense more like. Name change incoming I expect, clean slate, Groundhog Day for more bullshit.

I got this too. Think that’s shit.

Ffffffffffs

So you are Anna and this is a reverse?

I thought reverse posts weren’t allowed on the site and were banned?

They said they talked to her.

Also, since I posted a PP said when they complained MNHQ told them they knew and weren’t bothered.

Yeah that part doesn't add up at all.

For what it’s worth I am glad it was a reverse and you got to see that Team Anna was resounding & strongly on your side. Take comfort in that and ditch the bitches