Would you tell family about inheriting a life-changing sum unexpectedly?

[EugenieGreen]

If you (your DH) had completely out of the blue, inherited a life changing amount of money, would you tell your parents or siblings?

DH and I disagree.

Op did this person leave lots to DH and little/ nothing to his brother?

I know of siblings that happened to.

The one who saw the relation got nothing. The godchild got everything.
The own who got nothing was deeply hurt, especially as sibling didn't share.

Years on its caused a rift that has never and will never heel.

DH either shuts up and says nothing.
Or opens his mouth and wallet.

Good point. Is there a realistic chance someone might do this? It isn't necessarily going to be DHs choice to keep it private.

I wonder if the OP's DH is the one who doesn't want to share the information, as he is embarrassed by the fact that his DB has been excluded for no apparent reason. And maybe deep down knows that the right thing to do would be to share the windfall - but doesn't want to.

God no. In most cases, it only brings problems.

No I would not share this news unless I fully intended to share.

In my fantasy world where I win the lotto, I would only share if we won more than £500k as that is the point I’d be willing to make one off gifts to family.

100% not. Where there is a will there is a grasping relative!!

I get the feeling you are going to blab about it any way and then Pandora’s box will be open.

Good luck when every Tom, Dick and Harriet have their hands out for a “loan”. (For loans read gifts as they won’t be paid back)

Personally I'd tell no-one.

Absolutely not.

It's his private business.

I wouldn't tell them, it could only cause trouble.
My family knows very little about my finances, so spending a large sum could not really cause queries.

Why are people so grabby?

Why do people feel so entitled to other people's money?

Nope. I wouldnt tell anyone. I wouldnt care if they wondered how I could afford stuff - it's none of their business anyway and they can speculate all they like. Noone is entitled to know anyone else's financial business

No but when i start buying lurpak I feel people would know

no I wouldn't trust me when I got my compensation claim in 2017 you wouldn't beleve the amount of ppl asking me for money and my daughter's ex fella scammed me the most but unfortunately I won't see a penny of that back. so no I wouldn't tell your family.

They would know I had something. But not how much or where it was from. So not a problem.

You tell nobody.

Are you sure your husband was the sole beneficiary and his brother got nothing? If I was in that position I’d certainly tell my sibling and expect to share it. After that it’s entirely my decision about telling anyone else.

Absolutely not, if I came into a large sum either through inheritance or winning the lottery, I wouldn’t tell anyone bar my husband.
If anyone was to bring up any purchases/spending I would I say I’d come into a sum of money but wouldn’t divulge anymore info then that.
Money always causes issues

And of course if he wants to hang on to someone’s money that he had no relationship with, how much more grabby might his brother be, feeling all the more entitled to it?

edited to add: not that I’d do anything any different necessarily. They might not be very nice and I’d be perfectly happy to keep my unexpected inheritance.

I don’t know which way to vote.

I would absolutely tell my mum and sisters. We are close and talk to each other about our lives.

If the relative wanted the DH’s brother to have the money, it would have been left to him. For all we know, the relative felt, or perhaps even knew, that the brother was only cultivating the relationship because he believed he would profit from it.

The reason doesn’t really matter. It isn’t, and never has been, the brother’s money.

I wouldn't even tell my family if DH inherited an inconsequential amount of money - his salary, his finances, his inheritance etc are not anyone else's business. Money and families are complicated which is why every family drama has a fallout along those lines. Avoid.

No don't tell. Nothing good will come of it. We've both inherited sums which enabled us to pay off our mortgage. We're still in the same house so no one knows any different but it is life changing in that we have the equivalent of a monthly mortgage payment to spend or save for retirement/to help our kids.

A lot of people, if they think you've got money, will start to assume that Old Moneybags will pick up the tab for everything. I enjoy treating people from time to time but I like to make the choice not feel like I've only been invited out for my cash.

well how much? if it is a few hundred thousand meh. if it is multi millions, its going to be pretty obvious. if your husband inherited but his brother didnt even though he spent more time with them why? and why wouldnt your husband share? if that happened to me I would share with my sibling.

I wouldn't tell anyone. If your DH decides to give someone a financial gift, perhaps then he'll tell them, but even then, he doesn't have to.

One of my friends inherited a decent amount 20 years ago (not as much as your DH from the sounds of it) and was generous to her immediate family. Even now, she's the first person everyone asks if they need money. As she paid off her mortgage and put a lot into remodeling the house, most of it's no longer available anyway...but they still ask.

@honeylulu Yep, your situation sounds similar to my friend's.

Depends how much it was