Would you tell family about inheriting a life-changing sum unexpectedly?

[EugenieGreen]

If you (your DH) had completely out of the blue, inherited a life changing amount of money, would you tell your parents or siblings?

DH and I disagree.

So...your DH received an inheritance and you want to tell your family? No, really none of their business.

Depends on the family. My dad and one sibling yes but my mum and other siblings no.
With Dh family yes to parents knowing but not siblings.

Whoever inherited decides. If you both did equally (unlikely I know!) then don’t disclose as you can’t take it back once it’s out there.

No I wouldn’t if it was my inheritance.

If it was his, it’s up to him but …
there will be some envy & possibly snide comments behind your back.
Some may look for handouts.
No need to disclose amount anyway.

Take time to think it through. No rush. Go on a nice holiday & talk it through together. Have some fun with it pre-disclosure?

I wouldn’t. I have lent money to family in the past and it massively changes your relationship, despite resolutions on both sides for it not to, it just does somehow. It gets in the way.

That’s not to say that I wouldn’t help people out but it would be done once and very discreetly, and in such a way that they wouldn’t know I’d won the Lottery, I’d probably say that I had done unexpectedly well on an investment, and they wouldn’t know how much I had won, and it would be carried out in such a way that there would be no further expectations of any future pay outs etc.

It's also how much do you consider life changing, £50,000 would be to some, a million to others, or to be really life changing as in buy a mansion and a yacht and retire to the Cayman Islands type of life changing. The latter you would have to tell if you wanted to live that lifestyle and stay in touch with family.

A million isn't a huge amount, buy a nicer house, put the rest into savings for additional income, and to spend in your retirement and on your DCs and it's gone. Nice to know you are financially fairly secure, but if you just splurge it all it will be gone in no time.

I inherited a seven figure sum from my mother. I told DH. I didn’t tell the rest of her family (siblings) who had barely bothered with her. They assumed that she lived in a council bungalow and didn’t have much money. I gave jewellery to my cousins who had been kind to her, but that was it.

This situation happened in this house. Not giving up work sums but enough to pay off our mortgage and some left over. With his agreement, I told my parents and sister we’d been able to pay off the mortgage, but not the full amount.

Nope, money changes people and often for the worst. We’ve all heard of lottery winners losing all friends overnight. They start to ask for handouts and get iffy when you won’t provide it.

No

The decision whether to share the information is for your DH who has inherited the money. Personally I wouldn’t tell family as family / friends and inheritance / money often don’t make for a happy atmosphere. Often is builds resentment and then someone will be asking for a handout / loan .

I would need to be very sure about what I was doing with the inheritance. I.e if it is invested then there is little visible difference to your lifestyle maybe holidays , if you buy a mansion then you might need to explain simply if asked “ DH has inherited and we have invested it all in our home”.

In terms of my response, my parents and sister are comfortable so wouldn’t be asking for money. If their situations were different, my response might have been different too.

You gonna tell us how the voting works, or..?

No I wouldn’t tell

If I inherited a decent sum of money and my DH went blabbing to his sister or any of his multitude of cousins about it I might find myself spending some of it on a new patio.

Nope. No good will come of telling them.

It's not your money. Its his inheritance. The decision is his. Also, he doesnt have to share it with you. He dan put it in his own account and not comingle it with family money.

No. He can make gifts to each of them, such saying he had a good bonus or something, but windfalls like this tend to destroy families. So no. DH and I often debate this one when buying our lotto tickets… we’d look after everyone, but never tell them how we could afford to do so.

Depends on the family. I’d tell mine but I’d not want to tell my DHs family as they spend our money as it is -
Surely most people would tell people they had got something but not fill in the details.
It depends what you class as life changing. Its not unusual for people to get big inheritances - I’ve friends who live in big houses that wouldn’t match their income but don’t give it any thought but I might be curious if someone suddenly bought themselves a private jet.

My DH inheritance would have nothing to do with me, let alone my parents and siblings.

well, we rent and live a very modest life due to income, so I imagine if we inherited a couple of million, it would be hard to hide. wed buy a house, I'd take driving lessons and we'd buy a car, and I'd take the kids to Disney World. it's quite hard to explain that on a low to average wage and carers allowance

No

I wouldn't, but since it's your husband's inheritance, it's up to him who he tells. If you don't want your own side of the family to know, ask him to respect that and give your reasons why. Hopefully he respects you enough to abide by your wishes. As a general point, I don't think any good comes of sharing this sort of information. It can lead to resentment or people thinking you should pay for everything or give them money.

I wouldn’t. But my DM is grabby and my DF would just be weird.

I’ve just found out my DC is set to inherit from first cousins once removed (DH cousins). I’m blown away with the generosity, but no plans to tell anyone tbh as it won’t come into play for hopefully a long time and it just doesn’t matter.

No chance. I know my family too well.

I would tell my parents. I would probably tell my sister's once I had had a think about what to do and what to give them.