Would you tell family about inheriting a life-changing sum unexpectedly?

[EugenieGreen]

If you (your DH) had completely out of the blue, inherited a life changing amount of money, would you tell your parents or siblings?

DH and I disagree.

If it wasn’t my money I wouldn’t tell anyone, why would I?
if it was my money I’d tell my parents and one BIL, but none of the other in-laws. Another BIL would be bound to get jealous and weird about it, another very religious one might start hitting me up for donations (absolutely not), and both my SILs are hippies and at least one of them would definitely get guilt trippy about it.

Never tell anybody else about your finances. It is just Pandora's box.

Sounds like morally your H should share with his brother.

You know the will is available to anyone to look at as a public document for a small fee?

If we (DH or me) inherited money I would absolutely tell my family as we are all very close and there would be no problems. DH's family? Fuck no!!

How much money are we taking about OP?
Are you going to make us all green with envy?
X

I would but then I know they wouldn’t beg for money.

I would be shouting it from the rooftops and we'd be helping out both sides of the family with it. I have no doubt whatsoever that they would do the same.

Mumsnet is really good for showing me how good I have it though, my family, except for one, are good kind and honest people who I love dearly and speak to almost every day.

See, when I inherited a substantial amount, I naively thought that family and friends would be happy for me. They’d seen me struggle financially, seen me struggle with grief, and having to administer late parents estate as Executor to their wills, spending my own money to sort expenses, probate. I wasn’t the only beneficiary, but I received more than the others. The others, and non beneficiaries suddenly became very interested indeed in my finances. So I completely agree with @KTheGrey , keep quiet. People show their true colours when you least expect it, and those colours ain’t pretty.

I would not be telling anyone. I think if your DH is inheriting money it is entirely up to him and you should abide by it.

This!

It depends whose inheritance it is. If it was yours, you can tell who you like. If it's his, it's his choice who to tell, not yours.

I think it would lead to serious problems with your BIL if your husband told him that he'd been left this money.

But come on, OP, play fair and tell us how much it is and what it would mean to you! Let us live vicariously!

Goodness yes but then I would be sharing with BIL and my children (their children). People before things and good luck shared. Neither my family or friends are grabby. Thank goodness. I suppose I don’t aspire to own extra houses either which might make my choices easier.

No chance. I know my family too well.

This!!!

I live overseas, so keeping schtum is much easier.

No - it changes relationships, people ask for money, the asking doesn't stop the refusal offends. Those without always think they share it and think you are unreasonable for not paying for everything - from their mortgage, new car etc.

I think it generally ends badly if you talk about it. A relative on my side died and left me and my children money. My in laws immediately asked how much I’d be giving to my brother in law and I was like £0. They did realise afterwards it was a dumb thing to say once we put it the other way and said if one of them died, would they be happy with the inheritance going to my sister in law’s sister.

I think even if you’re giving people some money from a lump sum there will always be judgements on the amount. I think a lot of people could hide a good chunk of money quite easily (eg paying off mortgage or debt, upgrading to business class flights and not telling anyone etc.

For me it would depend on how likely family were to find out. What you intend to spend it on makes a difference here.

We’ve been in this situation, paid off our mortgage, loans, set up trusts for the dc, a college account and invested the rest. Dh has dropped to a four day week, with the intention to go to three days next year.

Day to day there isn’t much that looks different, and the mortgage payments have been balanced against him working less. He could retire now but prefers to keep on until the dc leave home. He’s more picky about the work he takes on now, choosing projects he’s passionate about.

We haven’t told anyone, and there’s no one in our immediate circle in need, but two entitled people (one in dh’s side and one on mine) who have form, so being honest about this would probably create problems and disharmony in the family.

Personally I wouldn't, they don't need to know. You would be amazed at how they suddenly need this that and everything else and they love you to bits. You won't hear the last of it. Crack on with your lives.

Absolutely not, it is his perogative as to whether this information should be shared with others.

My BIL and his brother inherited a considerable sum. I don't know specifics and rightly so - it's none of my business.

It would have been very odd if my DSIS had called and said "Steve's inherited £3 million from his Uncle Bob".

Other people's finances are private, no need to disclose to anyone.

Are you hoping the OP is someone you know?😁

No.

Take time to overcome the shock before you tell family.

Or wait for the sob stories coming your way,

How much is a "life-changing amount of money" to most people?

Having never gotten a "life-changing amount", I'd love some opinions.

Are wills very detailed? - ours just says house and money to go to dcs. People could guess the house value but how would they know the value of our wealth?

I agree with someone who said money can bring out the worst in people so I would keep quiet.