Would you tell family about inheriting a life-changing sum unexpectedly?

[EugenieGreen]

If you (your DH) had completely out of the blue, inherited a life changing amount of money, would you tell your parents or siblings?

DH and I disagree.

But not everyone does this stuff.

I don't need a bigger house or car etc and people are already used to me going away a couple of months a year. They wouldn't know of I stayed at fancier places orbhited a private driver etc

And id not be telling anyone. Especially my partner as he's want me to pay his share of trips so he could leave more money to his greedy kids

Really don’t think it would be easy to keep this quiet especially when they’re in contact with other work. It would seem deceitful and would result in a fall out which maybe couldn’t be healed.

I wouldn’t (unless I wanted to help them in some way)

No.

In a word, NO! Before you know it, you'll have nothing or very little left by the time you service all those hands that are out and waiting!

No. No discussion.

You don't say which of you feels which way, but WHY the need to tell other family members of your private affairs? That would be opening a really big can of worms.

It depends on the family. If you have a solid loving family who will be happy for you then why not. On the other hand if your family are the jealous kind who will think they deserve a slice then i would not tell them. However if you feel you should trear your family then you can always treat them over a long period of time with small gifts and not telling them of your small fortune. Be careful as money can be the root of all evil.

Pls can you explain all these DH, DD etc terms used here? I've searched for a key ie list of abbreviations but can't find one. How does everyone know what they mean?! Thank you

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/acronyms

No. Too many chaotic personalities and gambling addictions in the extended family, who do sod all to help me but you can bet your arse they'd soon take interest if I had seven figures in the bank. Fuck sake it makes me annoyed and I haven't even won anything 🤣

keep it to yourselves and say nothing Tell no one esp friends or family if its what they would consider a large sum. I have seen this cause significant resentment within my wife's family and it wasn't them it was their wives. 15 years later now ex wives, so you could say it was

You can be more generous when you do meet instead. pay for drinks or a meal because its nice to see them and tell them you saved up

As someone else said put the money away and forget about for a while while you think about it.

Something i have seen a wealthy friend do when asked for money by his wife's family is to say if you obtain half from elsewhere than i will consider to help with the other half. The other half was never found

It's up to the person who has the money, but I'd discuss the positive & negative outcomes if everybody knew. (Requests for loans, gifts, etc ) It's good to offer help, but depending on family members, some might feel entitled to a share!

No, I wouldn’t tell anyone.

DH and I would keep it to ourselves. My in-laws have both died and my parents are too old to make use of any windfall now so there's no point telling them.

I definitely wouldn't tell my sister/her offspring as she would be out with the begging bowl and getting in my parents ear about it constantly.

DH's brother is a prick, we are no contact except for family funerals and when circumstances force it. All very polite but no substance relationship! He also would be on our case begging especially since his much anticipated and mentally spent 10 times over inheritance from DH/BIL parents disappeared on care home fees. He didn't want MIL to go in a home but never lifted a finger for her.

My DS/DIL are better off than DH and I so don't need anything from us for the time being but I would definitely drip feed things like holidays.

Why do you need to tell anyone anything? Telling your sister that you are going half term is begging the conversation to open

Although its your choice if husband disagrees it's best to go along with letting others know, lifechanging events get known in most cases if you try to keep it a secret it will count against you.

Count against them for what??

This. Take some time. Also it's not your money it's his so it shouldn't be anything to do with your side of the family anyway. I think it could really complicate things with your children and their partners so a good idea to keep it from them for the time being, your husband is right there. There's plenty you can do on the downlow - pay off the mortgage, have nice holidays, buy abroad - who's going to know? You could always say you've had some good luck with investments or something if you want to give anyone a little gift or explain a new car away.

And congratulations! what a wonderful problem to have, enjoy it xx

It is her DH who has acquired this monetary amount !

Husband is the one who inherited the money. He wants to keep it quiet. It isn’t the OPs decision !!

My sister did win £1m on the lottery didnt keep it a secret, a new car, paid off the mortgage, daughter got a deposit on a house, invested the rest.
We were all very happy for her, she had a pretty miserable life up until then and was always broke.

I hope you got a little something @Crazykatie