Would you tell family about inheriting a life-changing sum unexpectedly?

[EugenieGreen]

If you (your DH) had completely out of the blue, inherited a life changing amount of money, would you tell your parents or siblings?

DH and I disagree.

No definitely not. It’s none of their business and the siblings would use it to justify you not inheriting as much from the other set of parents when they die.

You do not tell anyone. 🤦‍♀️
You do not tell anyone you are buying properties elsewhere. You simply "go on holiday."

Why didn't you say anything?
It's our private business.

I’d say we had an inheritance, and take siblings out for a slap up dinner on us. I wouldn’t reveal the amount if it’s a lot and I don’t plan on sharing it. It could lead to resentment.

No.

No, I wouldn’t tell a soul.Money brings out the worst in a lot of people and causes jealousy.
if you can, quietly help some family members without it being too overwhelming for them and yourself .
i would also never disclose the total amount to anyone.
Good luck though , what a lovely dilemma if it ends your financial worries.

I can’t say I’ve ever asked anyone even if constantly visiting the same area if they own a holiday home there.

Never asked someone who has gone part time if they got an inheritance.

At a push might crack a won the lottery joke of it seemed hugely out of the norm. At which point the answer of a couple of lucky investments paying off is a suitable answer still other wise a laugh and I wish wouldn’t that be great.

Anyone who starts pushing and probing into your finances is exactly the type of person to keep them hidden from.

I am currently waiting for probate to be granted after which I will have inherited a life changing sum.
I have discussed everything openly with my three adult children because I will have to make decisions that will affect them.
If I don’t make these decisions they will face eye watering IHT bills in the future (I’m still processing the amount I’ve just had to pay).
They know that the money (and the assets I already have) are mine to do with what I wish but I really feel that they need to at least have an input.
My close family have a good idea what’s involved, as do some close friends, but the figures have never been mentioned.

I would tell my family but I know Dp wouldn’t tell his and I don’t blame him as his family are the properly entitled type (he would say this himself!)

my DH and I have discussed this before (just in case we win the big one)
We wouldn't tell anyone until we had spoken to a lawyer and financial advisor.
Depending on the amount we might set aside some in trusts for the kids and grandkids. As for our siblings nada. Our parents would be taken care of so they wouldn't have to worry about money again.
we would also make sure a large part of it would be invested and unable to be touched other than interest.
We would try really hard to keep it from the extended family as they would be at our door hat in hand. So would need to move somewhere with a big iron gate.

They would ask.
There would be resentment by not telling them.
You would look very smug.

It's best not too, as having money leads to judgement and resentment

This, this, this.

It's your husband who's inherited, not you - it's entirely up to him whether or not he chooses to share that information, and with whom.

I'd tell them a smaller sum, because I'd want to spend some of it on them, but the larger part would be for my fafo fund. I would sleep peacefully.

It’s obviously completely up to your husband but I personally would share with my DB unless there’s a particular reason he was left out of the will? This type of thing splts even close families and unless you’re really hard up and DB is very well off , keeping all the money wouldn’t be worth it for me. Maybe you have kids and he doesn’t? In that case i’d split between kids db and me, Surely he will find out anyway? I thought wills can be consulted by anyone?

NO NEVER! Too many nightmarish stories on Reddit about people learning that a relative has inherited money, land etc.

I would as mine woukd br happy for me all are comfortable anyway.. However friends no way. Money can breed a lot of jealousy.

It would depend on the family member, the sum of money, and my own plans. Thankfully I don't appear to have any grasping relatives who would come to me for cash - who honestly has the neck to do this ? I know I wouldn't.

Likewise close friends.

But I wouldn't "tada!" announce it - I might let them know discreetly when the opportunity arose.

Honestly i bought a house abroad and no one apart from my husband knew.

We are going on holiday to x

Im team husband keep your mouth shut and get on with it. Theres zero chance i will get an inheritance like this you are very lucky.

Strange BIL was cut out of it....

No I wouldn't id tell my adult sons id use it to set them up and my grandaughter have a nice life myself e eryone else well its non of their business.

No don’t it will build resentment, doesn’t matter how close you are to family, these things change that. I would keep it to yourselves and if people question you have been saving, they don’t need to know

It depends on how much. If it is obviously a huge amount as you e given up work and moved into a mansion then you don’t have much choice.

Take some time to
think it through!!! Don’t rush into telling anyone anything yet

Why was the brother left out? Is your DH surprised to be the main beneficiary? I would feel bad for my brother if I was him.

Have read all the posts. If he buys a house in America as an alleged airbnb then he could say that was the inheritance and let family stsy free. Effectively that alone is a good inheritance.
ne careful with any lies. But goid advice to sit with it for a year.
i do feel he should be wary of adult kids and their partners snd their families.
maybe put some in pension trusts for future for DC. Help gradually a new kitchen house deposit wedding etc treat to a family holiday.
i think it’s sensible to still let adult dc find their own wsy as they will inherit it one day.
id be concerned handing over large sums only to end in divorce and partner taking half.
its a lovely thing to happen but it still bringing problems.

Blimey I must be an alien because if a joint family member left a huge amount ( as in two holiday homes a trust fund and giving up work) to me and left my sibling out I would totally be telling them and splitting it. I love my sibling too much . Other family members would be maybe told. we inherited from our cousin end of if it came up. Trust fund for kids fine until they’re older but still help to buy a property when they need it.