AIBU, My friends said they couldn't possibly go on a trip and then booked the same trip with someone else and apparently it's my own fault!
I've been friends with a couple since we were all at Uni together (nearly 30yrs ago! They met at Uni and married later)
I thought we had an amazing friendship, that we were close and could rely on each other completely. The husband was particularly supportive recently after my sister died as he'd been through a similar experience. We spoke/messaged every day. The wife is my son's godmother. I'd have called them my best friends.
It all started earlier this year, (we'd all expressed interest in the recent past about a possible future trip to Lanzarote as we'd all been individually and said how we'd like to take our children.)
But when I contacted them at the beginning of April about a possible trip this summer I was told no, they'd no passports, money was tight etc, (all perfectly reasonable). It was suggested I go alone (with just my immediate family) or maybe go to Disney? I expressed that I didn't really want to go if that were the case. In all honesty I was actually disappointed and trying (poorly) not to show it, because of previous conversations I'd thought it was definitely on the cards but I left that phone call thinking that there was no chance of a trip together this year. (We'd taken several trips in the past with no problem so I believed them!).
I've been/am struggling with grief and loss so not been in a good place but
after a few days I decided to put my big girl pants on and try to sort out a trip, so I picked up brochures etc. My son(16) and my Mum seeing I was struggling took over the planning. My son wanted to just check if there was absolutely no chance that his (unofficial) Aunt and Uncle would want to come as he'd have loved to have gone with them. So he contacted them only to discover that actually, after our last conversation they'd gone ahead and booked to go with someone else. I felt so hurt, the very trip they'd said absolutely no to. All the things they'd brought up as issues earlier were clearly not a problem. Given that they'd been in contact with me virtually every day since we spoke about it in April and they'd not said a thing showed that they were clearly trying to keep it from me.
I'd no idea why they'd done this or what I could have done. When I messaged them to ask they blamed me for not having wanted to do anything for my birthday (it's a significant one, but I didn't feel like a big/specific celebration this year as the pain of losing my sister is still raw. Everyone else I've said this to has been completely understanding) but I never said a holiday was off the cards.
They've not apologised at all and don't seem to care they've hurt me, in fact they deflect it back on me, and I "need to get past it" and "move on", and I "must have got my wires crossed". They also lashed out at my son (verbally). He's really hurt and now won't talk to them. I feel so conflicted, they've deliberately excluded me (us) when I'd been the one to raise the idea in April and now I'm supposed to feel bad for not wanting to "do something for my birthday" (the trip would never have been on my birthday anyway). I just can't face them but the loss of our friendship is hurting so bad, why would they do this. I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed, they know I've been struggling but they clearly don't feel bad about what they've done or seem to value our friendship, so am I being unreasonable if I cut them out of my life permanently?