India – loved it, but I came back feeling so violated.

[LondonLass40]

Just back from the Golden Triangle with my husband (43) and 12yr daughter. Stunning forts, incredible food ( lucky no Delhi belly 😀) amazing history is genuinely breathtaking.

But I’m struggling to process the darker side.

One afternoon in Delhi, my husband stayed at the hotel. I took my daughter to a busy market near cannaught place in broad daylight, crowded. A man walked past and grabbed my breast. Right in front of my daughter. He just kept walking. I froze. My poor girl kept asking why he touched Mummy.

Then there was the constant selfie nonsense when my husband was there and men lining up, putting their arms around me, getting too close while my husband stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

And the worst part was at the Red Fort queue. This guy kept pushing into me from behind – clearly not an accident. I turned around and shouted at him. He didn't run, didn't even look embarrassed , he just walked away ignoring me like I was invisible. I spoke to a security guard who just pretend to do something and did absolutely nothing.

I know these issues aren't isolated to India and this could happen in London too. But this was so blatant, so frequent, so relentless that I simply cannot ignore it. I've been to so many tourist destinations around the world and have never experienced harassment on this scale. It felt inescapable.

I don't know – does this only happen to Western women? I'm sure men like this do the same to Indian women too. How on earth do they deal with this every single day? I honestly don't think I'd go back.

Absolutely.

I was talking about a young woman’s experience, and I was told off and that’s when PP brought up immigration.

Hateful and vile would be the overwhelming experience most women have when visiting India. Triple the strength of those words when it comes to the poor women and girls who actually have to live there.

Most posts, including my own, were simply sharing our own experiences. Odd to assert 'most of you have never even set foot in'.

I had endless harassment in North Africa, Pakistan, Turkey, basically any Islamic country I’ve ever visited, even with a male companion. The only place in Europe where I’ve found men equally aggressive, or even worse, was Rome. That astonished me. I was knocked to the ground once, on a busy street, and frequently bruised.

There are plenty of posts on here where posters are saying they would never go to India because it’s filthy and backward, and making ridiculous claims that women can’t walk around without a chaperone or taking a segregated train.

I had more hassle from men during one week in Paris than I’ve had in the months I’ve spent in India. And the British Transport Police’s social media should provide plenty of contrary evidence for anyone convinced that this country is civilised. Men are vile wherever in the world they are.

At least the OP had the ability to separate out the behaviour of some men from the entirety of the country.

Turkey is not the Middle East.

I meant the type of behaviour OP is referring to in Indian with constant street harassment of women. Which ME countries is this the norm in?

It’s fairly obvious from the people saying “I’d never go”, for a start.

As for @GCAcademic’s username, I suspect we’re of the same views and I’m hugely looking forward to going back to India. If you’re looking for a country that has no problems then you won’t set foot outside the UK (and arguably not even go on holiday here, or to places like Australia or Canada which have pretty shonky views on women’s sex based rights).

No one is making you go to India and I’m absolutely not denying that some women have bad experiences or that attitudes towards women in India can be bad, but that is not the experience of others, including me, who find it a beautiful country with amazing people (even the men ). However, it’s not a place for inexperienced travellers or those who will struggle with the culture shock, which I suspect drives at least some of the attitudes posted here, whether the poster had been or not.

Likely that aid comes with influence and strings attached.

I experienced similar in Paris on an internship when much younger.

I go to Paris a fair bit now. I can see those who intimidated me back then weren't French.

I think those jumping on here to call India a backward shithole, while mentioning immigration, aren't contributing in good faith, but there is no denying how dangerous travelling in India is.

I would never go again, and would do everything in my power to prevent my dds going. I don't feel the same about any European country/capital.

The experience stained my whole opinion of this country and its culture. I find it really jarring that because someone didn't experience anything more than mild food poisoning, wish to deny the entrenched rape culture that exists in India. It is a profoundly dangerous country for women and girls and I will never understand anyone taking the risk nowadays.

Men are vile wherever in the world they are.

They are, but they are shamelessly and routinely vile in India.

It’s sad because it is a stunning incredible country. I’ve been 3 times once was for a friends wedding. There is poverty and hassle but I only got the terrifying sexual harassment side when I was with a female friend and we were in our twenties.

We visited karnataka which we loved was so sad to see two western tourists were raped there last year a Brazilian and an Israeli I think. I escaped this fate narrowly there. That apart had some amazing times in India but would do all in my power to dissuade my late teen girls going. Maybe 50 plus as a woman it’s safer.

Attitudes like yours baffles me.

The systematic rape, sexual torture and murder of women and girls in this country doesn't trouble you? Are you too busy travelling around, feeling like smug 'experienced traveller' to care?

The beauty too much of a draw eh!

At least when I went, I was young and drawn to India through a romantic lense.

As a 50 year old woman, nothing would make me go there again. The hubris of some westerners thinking that they are above harm and that their cultural knowledge will protect them, isn't the win you think it is.

I actually hope the OP and this thread has put anyone off going. India has no intention of improving safety, rights and conditions for female citizens and visitors. It doesn't deserve tourism.

At least people can stop saying "are you blonde, it happens more if you are"

That's OK, because attitudes like yours baffle me too. And none of the rest of your rather unpleasant comments actually reflect me or how I view India (or any of the other countries I've been to) so the relevance of your view escapes me.