Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?

176 replies

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:30

Long story warning.

I've spent the past five years with my partner in our new home, and suffice to say things started well, but in recent years I feel like our sanity has been stripped away one incident after another.

It started with what some parents on this site seem to think is "the inevitable and acceptable influx of toys" of various kinds being launched into the garden which at first I politely returned and heard no, "thank you!" or "sorry!". When I saw the mother of the children literally encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden, I stopped returning them as a protest.

At that point, toys were less frequent, but balls started to be kicked at the fence and doors in their new garage conversion started to be slammed. I didn't know if they knew how thin their walls were, so I put some music on loud just to give them a hint, and the banging got worse. Some friends were visiting and were in the garden and the banging started. Our friend said "Blimey, that is loud!", and then we heard knocking. They'd heard what he said and went in the house to purposely knock on their wall. I paid them a visit later that week, as my partner was working in his study and I could hear the banging from the other end of the garden. The father just lied to my face and said he couldn't hear any banging. Gaslighting at its finest.

Lost, and not sure what else we could do, we had a conversation discussing a solicitor, and it was either a coincidence, or they heard me, but the very next day, there was some drilling and the banging stopped from then on. I did later learn that the grandfather of the children had fallen seriously ill and was now living at the house, so I don't think the banging stopped for entirely (or at all) our benefit. The bangs of balls on the fence continued, but at least the banging that rattled through our entire house had stopped.

Out the front of the house our drives are next to one another with no separation, and they've always just let the children cycle all about the place, including over our drive when it was empty, but when I bought myself a car, they continued to cycle and scooter around their own car, squeezing through the gap next to the car I now have on my drive. The parents obviously haven't thought a second about my property, or that it might not be appropriate to let them do that. I've just kept the thought in my mind that the camera I have pointing at my car would capture any incident, should it occur, but it's not the point. I'm sat waiting constantly now, instead of balls to fly over and damage my garden, for a child to dent my car.

Yesterday they were stood on a bin by the fence staring at my partner who was working at the outdoor dining table naked because it was so hot, and he told them to go away, as you would, with our privacy being so completely breached for no reason at all.

I appreciate that kids will be kids and accidents will happen, but there is a certain level of cause and effect that is often completely ignored in situations like this. I haven't imagined having to change the way I can use my space or how stressed I am with a sense of PTSD waiting for the next slam.

At what point does this stop being innocent and a misunderstanding and become harassment. The parents haven't said a word to us about anything, even though it's clear there is an issue, and they seem happy to egg the children on to be as annoying as possible. Am I missing something, because I thought that teaching a child some boundaries and to respect other people and their property would be important if you cared at all about how they will behave later in life?

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 11/07/2026 14:33

“Working at the outdoor dining table naked”

…of course he was

Metromayhem · 11/07/2026 14:34

Sorry but you’ve hardly covered yourself in glory here, with your passive aggressive retaliation. Also why TF is your partner working naked in the garden? It’s not that hot?!!

chirrupybird · 11/07/2026 14:39

Metromayhem · 11/07/2026 14:34

Sorry but you’ve hardly covered yourself in glory here, with your passive aggressive retaliation. Also why TF is your partner working naked in the garden? It’s not that hot?!!

Not to mention you could get a very nasty sunburn.

SweepSqueaks · 11/07/2026 14:43

What do you mean by ‘encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden’? People are allowed to encourage their children to play with toys if that’s what was happening.

You aren’t saying that their mother was saying ‘why don’t you throw all of your toys over the fence and then we will go to Sainsbury’s because we’ve run out of milk?’ are you?

A man say he couldn’t hear banging isn’t gaslighting at it’s finest. You said the banging was doors. How is that happening all of the time? Are they just spending their days banging doors?

They shouldn’t be cycling around your car on your drive or standing on bins to look at your husband. Can’t they just look out a window to see his penis! Seems like less effort.

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:44

Metromayhem · 11/07/2026 14:34

Sorry but you’ve hardly covered yourself in glory here, with your passive aggressive retaliation. Also why TF is your partner working naked in the garden? It’s not that hot?!!

How would I get an honest opinion if I didn't say exactly what happened?

It isn't about trying to make myself look innocent because I know I'm not.

OP posts:
Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:47

SweepSqueaks · 11/07/2026 14:43

What do you mean by ‘encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden’? People are allowed to encourage their children to play with toys if that’s what was happening.

You aren’t saying that their mother was saying ‘why don’t you throw all of your toys over the fence and then we will go to Sainsbury’s because we’ve run out of milk?’ are you?

A man say he couldn’t hear banging isn’t gaslighting at it’s finest. You said the banging was doors. How is that happening all of the time? Are they just spending their days banging doors?

They shouldn’t be cycling around your car on your drive or standing on bins to look at your husband. Can’t they just look out a window to see his penis! Seems like less effort.

Our gardens aren't all that large, and she was encouraging them to throw toys as high as they could. Given the number that were already in my garden, I would have thought that was a bad idea.

OP posts:
Nourishinghandcream · 11/07/2026 14:48

Working at the outdoor dining table naked!

Working as WFH on a laptop / paperwork or doing DIY?
Can't see the logic in working outside during the heatwave if a sheltered inside space is available, heat & glare for one thing not to mention sunburn.🥵
Was he posing for OF and you were taking videos, that would account for the nudity?😳
If doing DIY, a lack of places to put tools would be an issue (no pockets but I suppose there is a crevice or two) and he could clip things onto his dangler.😱

Nearly50omg · 11/07/2026 14:49

Put a fence up in the front and put another load of high spiky bushes/trees up in front of the back garden fence to stop them staring at you in the back 🤷‍♀️ it isn’t brain surgery!

HobgoblinNorFoulFiend · 11/07/2026 14:52

If you want to be naked in the garden and not hear the neighbours move to a house in the middle of nowhere. YABU

Metromayhem · 11/07/2026 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Backedoffhackedoff · 11/07/2026 14:53

you sound obsessive about them and their noise. They’re allowed to do DIY, bang, throw things in the garden. You can get in a fight about them being near your car but it would make more sense to put a dividing fence down the drive.

I think you’re both being hyper vigilant and edgy because you’re so wound up by each other.

I don’t believe your partner was naked in your garden as that would make him a pervert. He knows full well he can be seen.

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:58

Backedoffhackedoff · 11/07/2026 14:53

you sound obsessive about them and their noise. They’re allowed to do DIY, bang, throw things in the garden. You can get in a fight about them being near your car but it would make more sense to put a dividing fence down the drive.

I think you’re both being hyper vigilant and edgy because you’re so wound up by each other.

I don’t believe your partner was naked in your garden as that would make him a pervert. He knows full well he can be seen.

He was naked in the garden, and is absolutely not a pervert. The fence is already over 6 ft tall, and his modesty was protected by the table. There might be a lot of truth in the other things you say, but you can literally shut up calling people perverts when they are in what should be the privacy of their own garden

OP posts:
Indianajet · 11/07/2026 14:58

You lost me at 'working naked in the garden'! That sounds very inappropriate to me - your OH should wear shorts if he is easily seen.

Ilikewinter · 11/07/2026 14:58

I understand where your coming from OP. It's just the general lack of awareness / consideration of other people isn't it. Why do they need to kick the ball at your fence - kick it at their own house. As for your car, I'd be putting up a fence pronto. The kids in one house on our street were screaming 'help me' so loudly last weekend someone called the police.... they were in the garden playing in the pool , but I guess someone got so peeved off with hearing the kids screeching for hours on end !

rolloverbeethoven · 11/07/2026 14:59

I can't believe so many people think you're unreasonable, OP. The neighbours sound like oafs to me, and they're teaching their children to be the same.

Glitchymn1 · 11/07/2026 15:00

They aren’t allowed to throw things in OP’s garden, they shouldn’t play around the car as it’s inevitable it’ll get dented. It sounds like you both started out ok ish, til the toy incident and then retaining the toys escalated things into a war.
How much do you like it there? Would you move?

Did your partner go naked to deter the kids? Are you allowed to be naked in the garden? 🫣

I’d put a fence up, pop some trees in and let it go if you can. The kids will get older and irritating you will be less appealing.

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:05

You’ve shot yourself in the foot with the naked in the garden detail OP. The whole thread will be about that now.

Your neighbours are scum but you can’t do anything about it and complaining honestly makes you sound mental when you list the things they’ve done. Nowhere to go with this. I wouldn’t live with it either but that’s why I live in a detached house.

MrsPapillon · 11/07/2026 15:07

You don’t get PTSD from anticipating an accident. It is a very serious condition and throwing the phrase around like that is minimising.

That said, I’d be pissed off with your neighbours. They sound like they’re trying to wind you up so if you try to ignore them they’ll probably get bored and stop.

Sereine · 11/07/2026 15:12

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:58

He was naked in the garden, and is absolutely not a pervert. The fence is already over 6 ft tall, and his modesty was protected by the table. There might be a lot of truth in the other things you say, but you can literally shut up calling people perverts when they are in what should be the privacy of their own garden

How is his modesty protected when he needs the loo, or goes inside when he finishes work etc?

Sereine · 11/07/2026 15:14

I'm not too sure about the situation with the bikes and the car, to be honest. The children are entitled to want to take their bikes out of the house, and if that means coming down the driveway, that seems permissible. Couldn't you park in a slightly different position so there is more room for them to pass?

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:17

MrsPapillon · 11/07/2026 15:07

You don’t get PTSD from anticipating an accident. It is a very serious condition and throwing the phrase around like that is minimising.

That said, I’d be pissed off with your neighbours. They sound like they’re trying to wind you up so if you try to ignore them they’ll probably get bored and stop.

It isn't anticipating an accident. They kick the ball against the fence so hard, and the banging in the house was so loud i started to get palpitations when i heard one and was waiting for the next. Honestly. I didn't know how else to describe how I felt. I don't mean to minimise PTSD.

OP posts:
DontTeaseMyDog · 11/07/2026 15:23

Naked? Or in his underwear?

Being fully naked when you know you have children next door who can over see is grim af.

Should they be looking over or down from windows? No, but are they kids who do stupid shit? Yes.

You are over reacting to day to day noise imo, kids throw toys - just chuck them back.

I'd not be having kids on my drive so put rocks down, a fence up, move the car over, plant a hedge, ask them not to - so many options.

You have loud music playing, and friends openly loudly complaining, you are clearly speaking loud enough if they can hear your every conversation.

Both at fault, and both really really unnecessary so but I would actually say you come off the worst in the situation you've discribed.

So much of this could be solved with a simple conversation but you've fucked it with passive aggressiveness instead.

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:31

Your thread title is so weird. “Neighbours’ children and their parents”

You mean your neighbours and their children

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:33

Contrary to the vision people have clearly got in their minds, my partner isn't laying spread-eagled in the vain hope of exposing himself to preteens.

What's more gross than being naked in our own garden is the fact that anyone thinks it's okay to make those kinds of assertions. Perhaps I should have been more clear about how he makes an effort not to be exposed, sitting on a towel, and will wear that when moving about, but frankly, the garden is very sheltered, and we don't expect to see faces. That was a new thing.

OP posts:
Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:34

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:31

Your thread title is so weird. “Neighbours’ children and their parents”

You mean your neighbours and their children

I clicked the AI suggestion and didn't reread it. Never trust AI.

OP posts: