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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?

176 replies

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:30

Long story warning.

I've spent the past five years with my partner in our new home, and suffice to say things started well, but in recent years I feel like our sanity has been stripped away one incident after another.

It started with what some parents on this site seem to think is "the inevitable and acceptable influx of toys" of various kinds being launched into the garden which at first I politely returned and heard no, "thank you!" or "sorry!". When I saw the mother of the children literally encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden, I stopped returning them as a protest.

At that point, toys were less frequent, but balls started to be kicked at the fence and doors in their new garage conversion started to be slammed. I didn't know if they knew how thin their walls were, so I put some music on loud just to give them a hint, and the banging got worse. Some friends were visiting and were in the garden and the banging started. Our friend said "Blimey, that is loud!", and then we heard knocking. They'd heard what he said and went in the house to purposely knock on their wall. I paid them a visit later that week, as my partner was working in his study and I could hear the banging from the other end of the garden. The father just lied to my face and said he couldn't hear any banging. Gaslighting at its finest.

Lost, and not sure what else we could do, we had a conversation discussing a solicitor, and it was either a coincidence, or they heard me, but the very next day, there was some drilling and the banging stopped from then on. I did later learn that the grandfather of the children had fallen seriously ill and was now living at the house, so I don't think the banging stopped for entirely (or at all) our benefit. The bangs of balls on the fence continued, but at least the banging that rattled through our entire house had stopped.

Out the front of the house our drives are next to one another with no separation, and they've always just let the children cycle all about the place, including over our drive when it was empty, but when I bought myself a car, they continued to cycle and scooter around their own car, squeezing through the gap next to the car I now have on my drive. The parents obviously haven't thought a second about my property, or that it might not be appropriate to let them do that. I've just kept the thought in my mind that the camera I have pointing at my car would capture any incident, should it occur, but it's not the point. I'm sat waiting constantly now, instead of balls to fly over and damage my garden, for a child to dent my car.

Yesterday they were stood on a bin by the fence staring at my partner who was working at the outdoor dining table naked because it was so hot, and he told them to go away, as you would, with our privacy being so completely breached for no reason at all.

I appreciate that kids will be kids and accidents will happen, but there is a certain level of cause and effect that is often completely ignored in situations like this. I haven't imagined having to change the way I can use my space or how stressed I am with a sense of PTSD waiting for the next slam.

At what point does this stop being innocent and a misunderstanding and become harassment. The parents haven't said a word to us about anything, even though it's clear there is an issue, and they seem happy to egg the children on to be as annoying as possible. Am I missing something, because I thought that teaching a child some boundaries and to respect other people and their property would be important if you cared at all about how they will behave later in life?

OP posts:
Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:35

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:33

Contrary to the vision people have clearly got in their minds, my partner isn't laying spread-eagled in the vain hope of exposing himself to preteens.

What's more gross than being naked in our own garden is the fact that anyone thinks it's okay to make those kinds of assertions. Perhaps I should have been more clear about how he makes an effort not to be exposed, sitting on a towel, and will wear that when moving about, but frankly, the garden is very sheltered, and we don't expect to see faces. That was a new thing.

Why doesn’t he just pop some pants on as Karl Pilkington would say. Just pop some pants on.

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:35

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:34

I clicked the AI suggestion and didn't reread it. Never trust AI.

AI wrote your post?

Backedoffhackedoff · 11/07/2026 15:36

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:58

He was naked in the garden, and is absolutely not a pervert. The fence is already over 6 ft tall, and his modesty was protected by the table. There might be a lot of truth in the other things you say, but you can literally shut up calling people perverts when they are in what should be the privacy of their own garden

He knows full well how overlooked he is and still chose to walk back and forth from his garden naked with young children next door. Pervert behaviour.

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:37

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:35

AI wrote your post?

No. Once I had finished writing the post, the website offered an AI suggestion for the title from the contents of the post.

OP posts:
MargaretMeldrew · 11/07/2026 15:40

One pair of loose, light boxers or shorts away from decency. How much calculable extra coolness/breeze does one get from letting it all hang out?

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:41

OP, do you sit in your garden naked?

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:47

Backedoffhackedoff · 11/07/2026 15:36

He knows full well how overlooked he is and still chose to walk back and forth from his garden naked with young children next door. Pervert behaviour.

There is a vast difference in what you think you know about strangers on the internet and what you actually know. My honest suggestion is you stop being so confident in what you think you know.

OP posts:
Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:52

MargaretMeldrew · 11/07/2026 15:40

One pair of loose, light boxers or shorts away from decency. How much calculable extra coolness/breeze does one get from letting it all hang out?

He is positioned in such a way that his modest is covered with or without shorts. The very large wooden table eliminates any need to worry about his penis being seen, I promise you.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 11/07/2026 15:55

What kind of important work was he doing while his modesty was being so well protected by the table? Was he on Teams? Confused

geumsun · 11/07/2026 15:55

'Mum, the weirdo next door has got his knob out again'.

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:55

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:52

He is positioned in such a way that his modest is covered with or without shorts. The very large wooden table eliminates any need to worry about his penis being seen, I promise you.

What happens when he stands up?

Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 15:59

I’d rather have kids throwing toys over the fence than the geezer next door sitting at the table naked. How odd

Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 16:00

geumsun · 11/07/2026 15:55

'Mum, the weirdo next door has got his knob out again'.

😂😂😂 No wonder they’re up the fence. None of this is normal.

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 16:04

Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 16:00

😂😂😂 No wonder they’re up the fence. None of this is normal.

Maybe people should teach their children that it isn't "normal" to stare into peoples personal spaces.

OP posts:
Springsummertime · 11/07/2026 16:08

you sound highly anxious and passive aggressive! It your husband wants to know wander naked in the garden you need to move somewhere with no neighbours!

get some counselling- you sound like you need it!!

Heyheyitsanotherday · 11/07/2026 16:10

Must be a reverse surely 😂

Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 16:10

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 16:04

Maybe people should teach their children that it isn't "normal" to stare into peoples personal spaces.

To be fair it’s not normal to be naked in your overlooked garden is it.

AbzMoz · 11/07/2026 16:16

Putting to one side the fact that DH should keep some boxers/swim shorts on…

It does sound as if they’re really egging this on. Might it be worth going round and saying something like obviously relations are tense, can we try and start afresh? do you get on with other neighbours who can maybe help?

You could otherwise have a conversation with community policing around what constitutes (in)appropriate neighbour behaviour. You’ll likely be told to keep a diary, recordings, so you might as well start that now.

At the same time I don’t think letting yourself get triggered by the behaviour is helpful to anyone - kids scooting outside may or may not damage your property, and if it does there is video evidence of their liability so it’s all fixable…

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 11/07/2026 16:18

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:58

He was naked in the garden, and is absolutely not a pervert. The fence is already over 6 ft tall, and his modesty was protected by the table. There might be a lot of truth in the other things you say, but you can literally shut up calling people perverts when they are in what should be the privacy of their own garden

What's wrong with wearing a pair of shorts like normal men? Your garden or not that is so rank -urgh it does come across as perverted behaviour when you've got young kids noext door.

pootlingalong5 · 11/07/2026 16:22

Some of it sounds unreasonable such as being on your drive, booting balls over all the time and deliberate banging. But it is absolute madness to be stark bollock naked in your garden when you know you can easily be seen by others. I can’t get my head around that at all.

LoveHearts69 · 11/07/2026 16:23

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:52

He is positioned in such a way that his modest is covered with or without shorts. The very large wooden table eliminates any need to worry about his penis being seen, I promise you.

But what’s the point in being naked? He’d be much cooler in some light boxers/shorts (or indoors!) than being naked. Also it means if a postman comes by/knocks then he doesn’t have to rush to cover up.

It is very odd behaviour to be completely naked outside, especially while ‘working’. The sun gives glare to the screen as well…there’s so many reasons he’d be better off working inside. It’s all a bit of a red flag and suggests that he enjoys being seen.

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 11/07/2026 16:24

I think OP is related to the hung up about 'prancing about in bikinis' poster, except they have polarised ideas about neighbours.

Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 16:25

If they were my kids I’d have to bleach their eyes

MargaretMeldrew · 11/07/2026 16:25

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 16:04

Maybe people should teach their children that it isn't "normal" to stare into peoples personal spaces.

His personal spaces shouldn’t be on display if you ask me😅😅

MsCalli · 11/07/2026 16:26

The neighbours sound annoying but you stand no chance of a reasonable conversation with them when your husband is now “the naked neighbour “. They probably think you are nutters.

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