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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?

176 replies

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:30

Long story warning.

I've spent the past five years with my partner in our new home, and suffice to say things started well, but in recent years I feel like our sanity has been stripped away one incident after another.

It started with what some parents on this site seem to think is "the inevitable and acceptable influx of toys" of various kinds being launched into the garden which at first I politely returned and heard no, "thank you!" or "sorry!". When I saw the mother of the children literally encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden, I stopped returning them as a protest.

At that point, toys were less frequent, but balls started to be kicked at the fence and doors in their new garage conversion started to be slammed. I didn't know if they knew how thin their walls were, so I put some music on loud just to give them a hint, and the banging got worse. Some friends were visiting and were in the garden and the banging started. Our friend said "Blimey, that is loud!", and then we heard knocking. They'd heard what he said and went in the house to purposely knock on their wall. I paid them a visit later that week, as my partner was working in his study and I could hear the banging from the other end of the garden. The father just lied to my face and said he couldn't hear any banging. Gaslighting at its finest.

Lost, and not sure what else we could do, we had a conversation discussing a solicitor, and it was either a coincidence, or they heard me, but the very next day, there was some drilling and the banging stopped from then on. I did later learn that the grandfather of the children had fallen seriously ill and was now living at the house, so I don't think the banging stopped for entirely (or at all) our benefit. The bangs of balls on the fence continued, but at least the banging that rattled through our entire house had stopped.

Out the front of the house our drives are next to one another with no separation, and they've always just let the children cycle all about the place, including over our drive when it was empty, but when I bought myself a car, they continued to cycle and scooter around their own car, squeezing through the gap next to the car I now have on my drive. The parents obviously haven't thought a second about my property, or that it might not be appropriate to let them do that. I've just kept the thought in my mind that the camera I have pointing at my car would capture any incident, should it occur, but it's not the point. I'm sat waiting constantly now, instead of balls to fly over and damage my garden, for a child to dent my car.

Yesterday they were stood on a bin by the fence staring at my partner who was working at the outdoor dining table naked because it was so hot, and he told them to go away, as you would, with our privacy being so completely breached for no reason at all.

I appreciate that kids will be kids and accidents will happen, but there is a certain level of cause and effect that is often completely ignored in situations like this. I haven't imagined having to change the way I can use my space or how stressed I am with a sense of PTSD waiting for the next slam.

At what point does this stop being innocent and a misunderstanding and become harassment. The parents haven't said a word to us about anything, even though it's clear there is an issue, and they seem happy to egg the children on to be as annoying as possible. Am I missing something, because I thought that teaching a child some boundaries and to respect other people and their property would be important if you cared at all about how they will behave later in life?

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · 11/07/2026 17:38

skiprun · 11/07/2026 17:33

Do you not have upstairs windows that you look out of?

Again a me problem if I’m deciding to stand at my upstairs window and look into their garden deliberately 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 17:40

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 17:02

I was just gonna mention that 'prancing around in their bikinis' post and a post ages ago about someone's neighbour doing the dishes topless at her kitchen window.

The replies were very different. Pretty much telling the OPs that there was nothing they could do, people can do what they like in their own homes and gardens and if they didn't like it not to look.

I'm not sure why the replies are so different on this thread.

Because it’s a man, perhaps, and not a woman. They themselves would probably quite enjoy seeing a naked woman in the garden, but not a man, so it’s somehow perverted.

OP posts:
Tiggermad · 11/07/2026 17:41

You annoyance at them seemed to have started over banging.
And then it escalated.
I think very little seems to annoy you.

ImPamDoove · 11/07/2026 17:41

Although I’m inclined to think this is fantasy, I’ll bite. What kind of absolute weirdo sits naked to work at an outdoor table 😂

potterspot · 11/07/2026 17:48

lol,

Yes I always do garden work naked in the heat, nothing like a burnt tit!

potterspot · 11/07/2026 17:51

If my neighbour was pottering about naked I’d be peeking too 🤷🏻‍♀️

potterspot · 11/07/2026 17:51

Autumngirl5 · 11/07/2026 16:29

So your partner is working outside sitting at a garden table stark naked and being bombarded by balls and tiny watering cans from over the fence and this is giving you PTSD?
Sorry I can’t take this seriously 😂.

😆😆😆

CoralOP · 11/07/2026 17:53

So is he sitting on a towel so he doesnt get skid marks on your garden furniture?

You sound.....wierd, I don't know how else to put it.
You are probably the streets loony pervs and the kids enjoy winding you up 🤷‍♀️.

If you are actually serious, trotting around naked aside, it doesn't sound like they are doing much out of the ordinary. Either be the street witch and pop their balls or be the nice next door neibour and throw their balls back.

LaurieFairyCake · 11/07/2026 17:57

No one should have their cock out in their garden

no one

even if it is REALLY SMALL

Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 17:58

Local nutters I’d say

igelkott2026 · 11/07/2026 17:59

There's no need to work naked, that's ridiculous. He'll be cooler with something on and not be exposing himself to the neighbourhood.

I do understand what you mean about encouraging activities though - neighbours to the back of me have two screamy daughters and they egg them on to get overexcited.

AtTheGym · 11/07/2026 18:06

Op has obviously come here to talk about his naked sunbathing….herbert. 🤮

Heronwatcher · 11/07/2026 18:06

Jesus can anyone work out what has happened? So far, all I’ve got is some toys in the garden and a bit of door banging (which may or may not have stopped). Oh and (quite understandably IMO) a bit of looking at a man who has suddenly appeared completely naked.

Honestly so many threads like this. Some people, families especially, are just are a bit noisy. Logically if you’ve got 6 people living in a small house they will create noise. And unless it reaches public nuisance levels then they’re doing nothing wrong.

I think you need to realise that if your tolerance for this is really low, you might be better moving somewhere else.

AtTheGym · 11/07/2026 18:09

Heronwatcher · 11/07/2026 18:06

Jesus can anyone work out what has happened? So far, all I’ve got is some toys in the garden and a bit of door banging (which may or may not have stopped). Oh and (quite understandably IMO) a bit of looking at a man who has suddenly appeared completely naked.

Honestly so many threads like this. Some people, families especially, are just are a bit noisy. Logically if you’ve got 6 people living in a small house they will create noise. And unless it reaches public nuisance levels then they’re doing nothing wrong.

I think you need to realise that if your tolerance for this is really low, you might be better moving somewhere else.

Nothing happened, the whole point was to get the part in about him sunbathing naked so he can talk with the ladies about it. 🤢

JLou08 · 11/07/2026 18:15

You sound like a nightmare neighbour yourself. PTSD and harassment??? It's a very dramatic post about not much at all.

fireandlightening · 11/07/2026 18:24

Reminds me of the 'ugly naked guy' theme from Friends 😂

SayWhatty · 11/07/2026 18:25

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:58

He was naked in the garden, and is absolutely not a pervert. The fence is already over 6 ft tall, and his modesty was protected by the table. There might be a lot of truth in the other things you say, but you can literally shut up calling people perverts when they are in what should be the privacy of their own garden

Do they have an upstairs? If so he can be seen from the window. Foolhardy and weird behaviour.

Howyoudoings · 11/07/2026 18:30

They don’t seem to be anything you can actually do because when you break it down what are you complaining about ? Kids play with toys ? People closing doors . They are not playing loud music that was actually you . And your husband being naked in the garden is the strangest thing of all . Like put some boxers on . What about all other neighbours looking out their windows. Yes the kids should not be driving around your car . But unless to move to the middle of nowhere where you are likely to have the same or worse issues. And that’s coming from someone who can’t stand their neighbours , who also slams door and constantly arguing and seem incapable of having a conversation without swearing or shouting. And I live in a small village. But what can you do .

Helgirl666 · 11/07/2026 18:35

I don't think I would call it harassment but your neighbours are certainly being inconsiderate and a bit childish. Too be fair it sounds like 6 of one and half an doozen of the other as you all aren't exactly innocent. It has obviously prompted in you a heightened anxiety state so perhaps let things cool down or have a civilised chat. Plus frankly I think people should be able to walk about naked in their own space if they want to and not have ignorant people suggest they are perverts!

ShutupLwren · 11/07/2026 19:03

Absolutely not the point of this thread but a few years ago (luckily a different house to the one we’re in now) a neighbour a few doors down kindly took in a parcel for me.
My eldest and I went to collect it and I thanked him, had a polite few sentences and left. My DC as we’re walking down his path says, “mum, his actual dick was out” I’m saying “shush don’t be daft”, and neighbour is in the window waving to us and I look down and yep, cock and balls all just on display. To make matters worse I’d even stroked his dog stood next to him, imagine if I’d missed and patted his bollocks or something?! Anyway sorry to derail.

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 19:08

Howyoudoings · 11/07/2026 18:30

They don’t seem to be anything you can actually do because when you break it down what are you complaining about ? Kids play with toys ? People closing doors . They are not playing loud music that was actually you . And your husband being naked in the garden is the strangest thing of all . Like put some boxers on . What about all other neighbours looking out their windows. Yes the kids should not be driving around your car . But unless to move to the middle of nowhere where you are likely to have the same or worse issues. And that’s coming from someone who can’t stand their neighbours , who also slams door and constantly arguing and seem incapable of having a conversation without swearing or shouting. And I live in a small village. But what can you do .

Edited

We are very lucky that we only have one window that overlooks part of our garden and it is their landing window. Where my partner was sitting cannot be seen from that window, and there is only a very small gap after a long expanse of their extension wall where they can see over if they try really hard, and my partner wasn’t visible at that point either because of the table. I didn’t think it would be so provocative to be honest, but I guess people only know their own spaces, and will see things from their own perspectives. I doubt my neighbours are on here, but I would rather not share pictures of my garden, beautiful as it is.

OP posts:
Howyoudoings · 11/07/2026 19:20

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 19:08

We are very lucky that we only have one window that overlooks part of our garden and it is their landing window. Where my partner was sitting cannot be seen from that window, and there is only a very small gap after a long expanse of their extension wall where they can see over if they try really hard, and my partner wasn’t visible at that point either because of the table. I didn’t think it would be so provocative to be honest, but I guess people only know their own spaces, and will see things from their own perspectives. I doubt my neighbours are on here, but I would rather not share pictures of my garden, beautiful as it is.

As hard as it is you just have to get on with I just ignore my neighbours they don’t exist is my would. Just go about your day use your garden and you kind of get immune to it after time .The worse thing you can do is not use your garden and quite your family down for them , as I find that just makes them take the p.ss even more .

cymruyespls · 11/07/2026 19:32

HobgoblinNorFoulFiend · 11/07/2026 14:52

If you want to be naked in the garden and not hear the neighbours move to a house in the middle of nowhere. YABU

Why is there always one person who has to make this idiotic comment on these threads? 🤣

That statement works both ways. If you want be able to throw shit around without losing it in neighbouring gardens, bang walls for no reason, send your screaming kids out into the garden at 7am, blast music at midnight (or insert any inconsiderate behaviour that these neighbour complaint threads throw up), then you need to move to the middle of nowhere.

Except that’s not a realistic option for most people, and you know it.
Like it or not, most people can’t afford to just pick up and move anywhere they like. Most people will end up living in close proximity to other people. So in order for us to rub along as best we can, we all need to have a little consideration for the people around us.

somanychristmaslights · 11/07/2026 19:39

Lesson learnt - never mention your partner being naked as that derails the thread.

have you actually spoken to your neighbour??

lightseeker · 11/07/2026 19:40

OP, you sound mad as a brush.

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