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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel harassed by neighbours' children and their parents?

176 replies

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 14:30

Long story warning.

I've spent the past five years with my partner in our new home, and suffice to say things started well, but in recent years I feel like our sanity has been stripped away one incident after another.

It started with what some parents on this site seem to think is "the inevitable and acceptable influx of toys" of various kinds being launched into the garden which at first I politely returned and heard no, "thank you!" or "sorry!". When I saw the mother of the children literally encouraging activities that increased the likelihood of toys being thrown into the garden, I stopped returning them as a protest.

At that point, toys were less frequent, but balls started to be kicked at the fence and doors in their new garage conversion started to be slammed. I didn't know if they knew how thin their walls were, so I put some music on loud just to give them a hint, and the banging got worse. Some friends were visiting and were in the garden and the banging started. Our friend said "Blimey, that is loud!", and then we heard knocking. They'd heard what he said and went in the house to purposely knock on their wall. I paid them a visit later that week, as my partner was working in his study and I could hear the banging from the other end of the garden. The father just lied to my face and said he couldn't hear any banging. Gaslighting at its finest.

Lost, and not sure what else we could do, we had a conversation discussing a solicitor, and it was either a coincidence, or they heard me, but the very next day, there was some drilling and the banging stopped from then on. I did later learn that the grandfather of the children had fallen seriously ill and was now living at the house, so I don't think the banging stopped for entirely (or at all) our benefit. The bangs of balls on the fence continued, but at least the banging that rattled through our entire house had stopped.

Out the front of the house our drives are next to one another with no separation, and they've always just let the children cycle all about the place, including over our drive when it was empty, but when I bought myself a car, they continued to cycle and scooter around their own car, squeezing through the gap next to the car I now have on my drive. The parents obviously haven't thought a second about my property, or that it might not be appropriate to let them do that. I've just kept the thought in my mind that the camera I have pointing at my car would capture any incident, should it occur, but it's not the point. I'm sat waiting constantly now, instead of balls to fly over and damage my garden, for a child to dent my car.

Yesterday they were stood on a bin by the fence staring at my partner who was working at the outdoor dining table naked because it was so hot, and he told them to go away, as you would, with our privacy being so completely breached for no reason at all.

I appreciate that kids will be kids and accidents will happen, but there is a certain level of cause and effect that is often completely ignored in situations like this. I haven't imagined having to change the way I can use my space or how stressed I am with a sense of PTSD waiting for the next slam.

At what point does this stop being innocent and a misunderstanding and become harassment. The parents haven't said a word to us about anything, even though it's clear there is an issue, and they seem happy to egg the children on to be as annoying as possible. Am I missing something, because I thought that teaching a child some boundaries and to respect other people and their property would be important if you cared at all about how they will behave later in life?

OP posts:
Felinesonmeshirt · 11/07/2026 16:27

Indeed. Sounds like you all deserve each other.

Autumngirl5 · 11/07/2026 16:29

So your partner is working outside sitting at a garden table stark naked and being bombarded by balls and tiny watering cans from over the fence and this is giving you PTSD?
Sorry I can’t take this seriously 😂.

BillieWiper · 11/07/2026 16:30

This is so obviously fake..

SuitcaseAndSecrets · 11/07/2026 16:31

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Is this for real?
Nah it's a wind up!

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/07/2026 16:35

MargaretMeldrew · 11/07/2026 16:25

His personal spaces shouldn’t be on display if you ask me😅😅

Absolutely.

MrsMurphyIWish · 11/07/2026 16:36

Is this an episode of “worst neighbour EVER” on Netflix? Episode 1 also had a naked neighbour.

superspideysense · 11/07/2026 16:38

I think when you live near other people you have to expect to hear some noise and with small gardens and kids some toys will come over. Why don’t you add them to a basket or something and then each week put them outside for them to collect? You could take them round even and ask if they wants them back.

otherwise it leads to the pettiness. You turning music up to make a point has meant they’re probably less caring about their noise.

I think the ones that would annoy me the most are the ball against the fence - can you suggest a goal so that the net softens the blow? The other is riding close to the car - can you put a fence, hedge, pot plants in a line, big rocks…..

I don’t think I know anyone who’d feel comfortable sitting naked in the garden. That’s a bit weird. Is that to make a point too? Because if they complained and you said he can’t do what he wants….youll get that response back. I hope he’d stopped that now that he knows he can be seen. It’s really unnecessary. I’m assuming it doesn’t need to do meetings????

SharingMyOpinion · 11/07/2026 16:41

Neighbours with their balls out will attract attention.

Wear underwear at a minimum.

Buy a new house.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 11/07/2026 16:41

Hope he wasn’t on a zoom call…..

SylvanMoon · 11/07/2026 16:44

Surely this is a troll post ...

MrsMurphyIWish · 11/07/2026 16:48

SylvanMoon · 11/07/2026 16:44

Surely this is a troll post ...

Don’t use the “T” word. I was deleted by mods the other week for using that (even though the poster was making abusive comments!).

SerendipityCat · 11/07/2026 16:53

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:52

He is positioned in such a way that his modest is covered with or without shorts. The very large wooden table eliminates any need to worry about his penis being seen, I promise you.

His modest endowment? 😎

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 16:55

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 15:31

Your thread title is so weird. “Neighbours’ children and their parents”

You mean your neighbours and their children

Goodness, yes! Because the title of the thread is the most important thing here 😂

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 17:02

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 11/07/2026 16:24

I think OP is related to the hung up about 'prancing about in bikinis' poster, except they have polarised ideas about neighbours.

I was just gonna mention that 'prancing around in their bikinis' post and a post ages ago about someone's neighbour doing the dishes topless at her kitchen window.

The replies were very different. Pretty much telling the OPs that there was nothing they could do, people can do what they like in their own homes and gardens and if they didn't like it not to look.

I'm not sure why the replies are so different on this thread.

vodkaredbullgirl · 11/07/2026 17:04

Factor 50 needed 😂

Tableforjoan · 11/07/2026 17:04

MrsMurphyIWish · 11/07/2026 16:36

Is this an episode of “worst neighbour EVER” on Netflix? Episode 1 also had a naked neighbour.

Did you manage to get into the show? I keep trying but I just can’t. Too much waffle about what feels like random stuff

SallyDraperGetInHere · 11/07/2026 17:06

Anto2024 · 11/07/2026 15:52

He is positioned in such a way that his modest is covered with or without shorts. The very large wooden table eliminates any need to worry about his penis being seen, I promise you.

Thank goodness it was a VERY LARGE table

Tableforjoan · 11/07/2026 17:06

It does seem like the parents are a bit ineffective and possibly enjoying annoying you at this point.

Don’t get the hate for being naked in the garden. If the kid wasn’t stood on a bin staring over he wouldn’t be able to see anything table or no table.

skiprun · 11/07/2026 17:16

op, imagine if someone started an aibu, ‘my neighbour is sitting bollock naked in his garden whilst my children play outside’ what would your initial reaction be? ‘Oh that’s ok he’s in his own garden’ would it hell 😂

Tableforjoan · 11/07/2026 17:20

skiprun · 11/07/2026 17:16

op, imagine if someone started an aibu, ‘my neighbour is sitting bollock naked in his garden whilst my children play outside’ what would your initial reaction be? ‘Oh that’s ok he’s in his own garden’ would it hell 😂

I’d ask how they know.

If the answer is I stood on the bins to look over the fence. It’s a them problem.

If the answer is we have a 3ft chain link fence. I’d say it was inappropriate.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 11/07/2026 17:30

They sound like dicks, OP. Whilst there’s probably not much you can do, I do empathise.

There’s a lot of people who have zero consideration for anyone else. You see it on here too, stating that people are allowed to bang, make noise, throws balls around. And yes, of course they can, but have some consideration for others. I have twattish next door neighbours who bang every wardrobe door, drawer, cupboard in their house from 0715-0830. It started about 6 months ago, no idea why, it’s infuriating. Fortunately, now I have a fan on in my bedroom the white noise blocks it out and I wake up naturally or to my alarm. I understand what you mean by being on edge waiting for the next crash and bang.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 11/07/2026 17:32

skiprun · 11/07/2026 17:16

op, imagine if someone started an aibu, ‘my neighbour is sitting bollock naked in his garden whilst my children play outside’ what would your initial reaction be? ‘Oh that’s ok he’s in his own garden’ would it hell 😂

There was a post on here a couple of weeks ago about someone’s neighbours being naked in their garden. The overwhelming majority were telling the OP that they were up tight and their neighbours could do what they wanted in their garden.

Fivebyfive2 · 11/07/2026 17:33

Unless I'm missing something in your post @Anto2024 all this agro is down to toys coming over your fence and balls being played with - no actual injuries or damage to your property?

No threats or intimidating/anti social behaviour.

And again with the bikes on the drive, am I right in thinking, from your post, that no damage has actually happened at all??

Also, why the flying F is your husband just wondering around your garden naked when you obviously don't have the privacy?? FFS I started telling my son he couldn't be in the nip outside once he turned 5 for precisely this reason so I don't see how it's so hard for a fully grown man to understand??

People get PTSD from wars, violence and truly awful things, not balls being knocked on a fence and being asked to put some pants on.

skiprun · 11/07/2026 17:33

Tableforjoan · 11/07/2026 17:20

I’d ask how they know.

If the answer is I stood on the bins to look over the fence. It’s a them problem.

If the answer is we have a 3ft chain link fence. I’d say it was inappropriate.

Do you not have upstairs windows that you look out of?

Snizzwizzler · 11/07/2026 17:35

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/07/2026 16:55

Goodness, yes! Because the title of the thread is the most important thing here 😂

I’ve made a good few posts responding about Billy Bollocks as well tbf

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