AIBU to be upset by my partner talking about craving younger women?

[Frenchlady14]

My DP and I have been together for six years - we met on a dating site although we knew each other because we live in the same area and have some same friends. He is a year older than me and we are in our sixties = we don't live together but see each other at least once during the week and every weekend. I think I look ok for my age and we make a nice couple. Anyway he has made some comments in the past about me being lucky he doesn't have a mid-life crisis and 'chase younger women' and I said if that is what he wants to do - then go for it! These kind of remarks do annoy me a bit but generally he's a great boyfriend.

But yesterday evening - kind of out of nowhere when we were having a quick drink - he looked at me and said that he could really understand how men of his age can crave a younger women. I got really upset and told him to go home - he thinks I'm overreacting - am I?

This was incredibly emotionally unintelligent of him. Some men are so STUPID.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water but let him know how insulting a comment like that is. And give him one more chance.

Worth repeating!
I would print this off and stick it on my fridge @Frenchlady14 !

So you haven't actually told him to go f* himself yet?

You don't need that kind of crud in your life.

I would laughingly remind him that young hot women aren't interested in men his age, and then add that I think I could probably pull someone in their 40s

Oh my God, OP. Why didn't you dump him then and there?

Don’t let him destroy your self esteem OP. It was a nasty thing to say.

And this...

When people show you who you are, believe them.

He’s no prize!

And he’s already had his chances by the sounds of it!

What you don’t seem to be getting is that dating a bloke isn’t mandatory. Definitely not at 60. You have made a couple of posts suggesting that all blokes are like this. Fine, sensible women don’t want any of them.

good grief that has NOTHING to do with you not looking good for your age! I am sure you are! But you also are your age, you can't go back to being a 30 or 40 year old woman, your age is what it is. It does not mean you don't look good!

If he is that keen on being with "younger" women, then off he goes, good luck to him.

Does it make him feel better to put you down? That's not a relationship, it's just the wrong man

what does it have to do with anything?

Men AND women can still find people attractive, at any age. It's a bit weird if you don't. Having a vague appreciation with the way someone else look doesn't mean you are "attracted" to them and haven't moved on.

I think he’s negging you to condition you to make you accept slightly worse behaviour each time.

Mid-life crisis?! Good one. Thinks he’s going to live to 130?? He’s heading into dirty old man territory if he’s not careful.

The fact that he’s insecure is exactly what’s making him behave like a negging twat. He knows full well you’re too good for him and he’s saying this crap to make you insecure. He’s a dickhead.

Also the word ‘crave’ in this context is hideous.

could you explain how you decided I think dating is mandatory?! I’ve been Single for years.

give over making crass assumptions about me, about what op ‘ should’ do, and about op’s boyfriend.

Good point about the word crave. It’s a word from AI. ai says crave all the time, it’s so hyperbolic.

I'd be letting him go and try his luck finding a younger woman. Absolute pig. Of course you're not unreasonable to be upset.

presumably he is now an Ex ? Please you deserve better !

Dreadful. Urgh.
He’s vile.

I'm so sorry you have had this upset. I honestly don't know what's the matter with some men. I'm 58, I've been divorced since my mid forties, and to be honest the few attempts at dating I've had have all come to nothing because of stuff like this. I had a brief go at online dating, arranged to meet one chap for a drink and whilst I was standing waiting for him I got a text from him saying he was there, but I didn't "look as good as I did in my photos" so the meeting was off. THAT did absolutely nothing for my confidence, and I just couldn't believe someone would treat another person like that. The absolute rudeness to appraise me whilst lurking where I couldn't see HIM (or judge HIS looks) and then not even have the decency to still have a drink and a chat like a normal person but choose to be a total dick instead.
The one good thing about dating at our age is that we are under no pressure from other people, or our biological clocks, to keep doing it or to settle for awful men who do nothing to enhance our lives. You deserve better than this. I'm sure your confidence will come back-mine did-and I bet you DO look lovely.

Of course you aren’t over reacting. What a rude, disrespectful thing to say.

LTB

Give him the heave-ho. Also you’re not his nurse/interpreter. I’m in my 60s too - it’s revolting of him.

OP you are under reacting- call this man out, he’s using you like a carer then having a back handed dig about you not being a nubile 21 year old.
There is nothing but heartache,
erosion of your self, wasted time and energy in this for you
move on you are not responsible for him - he’s no good for you, end of ( he won’t let you go easily I bet, you bring so much to him)

He’s showing his true colours.

Even ugly older men who profess to love their partners cheat OP - don’t be fooled.

Gross man.