AIBU to find a lawyer for my nephew whose pregnant girlfriend says she doesn't want him on the birth certificate?

[Hillfarmer]

My lovely 35-year old nephew is in a very stormy relationship. He and his GF already have one DC of 18 months. She is pregnant again, due August - we could debate the rights and wrongs of that until the cows come home - but we are where we are. They have just had an almighty bust-up, she's kicked him out of the house and now telling him she won't have him on the birth certificate.

He is a devoted Dad and would be devastated not to have parental rights from the get-go, but what can he do? Are there any family lawyers on here who know whether he can force her hand in some wayl? Are there any legal means he can use before the baby is born - say, get an injunction?

He is named on the birth cerficate of his first DC and of course wants to be named on the second one's birth cert. If he's not on it, I understand that it will be much more of a fight to get access etc.

Any advice welcome!

Whether you’re a nasty person or not, your OP does NOT read well.
You’d do better trying to be kind and helping your DN to sort things out with his gf rather than rounding up the horses ready for a litigious attack. Seriously, give your head a wobble.

It is impossible for a man to create a child by himself

this isn’t true. Many many men have been perfectly capable of taking what they want without the womens consent.

I don't think he should be considering 'forcing' anything prior to the birth otherwise he may not be invited to be present. Hopefully some cooling of the jets will happen beforehand but relatives jumping in with 'research' is unlikely to make a bad situation better.

Yeah but it’s really got f all to do with you. He is not your partner. He is not your son. Back off.

It has seriously got f all to do with you.

So it's perfectly OK that a woman can get PR and deny it to the father?
Tell me again about male privilege.

It's not a disease pregnancy

Marriage would have protected him here
Another stupid comment. He doesn't need marriage to be 'protected'. For a start, there is matter of protection.

The courts will absolutely give him rights to be a father to the child. Equal rights to that of the mother. Marriage or not.

😂
Men can always choose not to impregnate women they aren't married to. And of course men can absent themselves from the lives of any child they create whether they are on the birth certificate or not.
Biology dictates that only the mother is the legal parent of any baby born outside of marriage. That's not privilege, it's just reality. Biology hugely privileges men, so that's where the male privilege lies.

as PP said he can apply for PR through the court and if she refuses to confirm he’s the father they can court order a dna test.

but what is he doing about his existing toddler? Has he requested shared care 50/50? Where is he living? He needs to crack on with getting himself set up to co parent 50% of the time of two children….

Biology dictates that only the mother is the legal parent of any baby born outside of marriage
This is not about the mother has so many posters seem to think here. It's about the child. And the child has the right to both parents. It is despicable that a mother uses biology as an excuse to force the father to take legal actions to get the same rights as her.

Biologically, men are physically stronger. Should that give them the right to use their strength to their advantage and deny women what they legally entitled to.

It's really worrying how the growth in women entitlement in the name is women is punishing children even before they are born. Poor kids to be.

but what is he doing about his existing toddler? Has he requested shared care 50/50? Where is he living? He needs to crack on with getting himself set up to co parent 50% of the time of two children….
Who says that's not what he is trying to do. Why the assumption that he doesn't care about his children?

This.

He a grown man and it’s up to him to sort this out.

Yes that's fine. A man can go to court if he wants it. What is the other alternative? Any man can demand he is put on any birth certificate with no proof of paternity?

Maybe he’s not the father.

I agree to keep out.

direct him to Google where he can find he information he needs.

What’s going to get tricky is he’ll be in a position whereby he’ll be paying and fighting for access to a child to prove to the court he wants PR.
She’s going to be in matin whereby she may have only 1 of the siblings 50% of the time and only receive maintenance for 1 of them.

So it would really be best for them to cool off, him to be supportive (which I know is hard if she’s being difficult) and for him to maintain a good co parenting relationship with her with their current shared child until the new baby is here.

If he starts playing “law” o er good dad it’ll do him no favours.

She shouldn’t be allowed to not add him just because she doesn’t like him at that point. If he’s the father, he should be on the birth certificate.

These MRA types want it all ways. Imagine if women could put men on the birth certificate before birth and then the baby wasn't his? Or if men could get on the birth certificate without the woman's agreement and again it wasn't his? There would be outrage. But perfectly normal checks and balances, with the man either needing to be married to the mother or attending the appointment in person are 'female privilege'

So what would happen, theoretically, if a random man rocked up and said that he is the father of any random pregnant woman's baby? She should be forced to put him on?

I would imagine that going down the legal route now is the fastest way to make sure the relationship is over for good.

@RoseField1 Naming a father on a birth certificate who isn't the biological father is likely more common than we realize - maybe not as common nowadays with DNA testing, but definitely in the past! I know someone IRL who did a DNA test to trace her family history and discovered that her grandfather wasn't her Mum's Dad!

Anyway, the OP needs to keep her nose out and if necessary, her nephew will seek legal advice after the baby's born.

Not if she’s married. A husband automatically has parental rights, even if he’s not the biological father of the child.

Men can easily source a paternity test afterwards if they are really committed to fatherhood. But you’d be surprised how many don’t.

And let’s not forget those that are on the cert, and walk away anyway.

Thats male privilege. Recognise it?

I think you need a hobby!

Of course they are arguing more she is pregnant. I think follow the advice here .

I wonder what you class as a “stormy relationship “ what has caused this “almighty bust up” ? If she doesn’t want him on the birth certificate there is a reason. If there is any type of domestic abuse going on then he needs to leave now. What sort of man argues in this way with a pregnant woman? Don’t tell me how lovely your nephew is, many abusers are lovely to everyone else. The fact is you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. And you only hear your nephews version which will be far from the truth. Also don’t forget there is a child already growing up in the midst of this, aren’t you worried about them? Don’t get drawn into your nephews drama and don’t believe everything he says. They do not sound suited as a couple and should probably part ways.