AIBU to find a lawyer for my nephew whose pregnant girlfriend says she doesn't want him on the birth certificate?

[Hillfarmer]

My lovely 35-year old nephew is in a very stormy relationship. He and his GF already have one DC of 18 months. She is pregnant again, due August - we could debate the rights and wrongs of that until the cows come home - but we are where we are. They have just had an almighty bust-up, she's kicked him out of the house and now telling him she won't have him on the birth certificate.

He is a devoted Dad and would be devastated not to have parental rights from the get-go, but what can he do? Are there any family lawyers on here who know whether he can force her hand in some wayl? Are there any legal means he can use before the baby is born - say, get an injunction?

He is named on the birth cerficate of his first DC and of course wants to be named on the second one's birth cert. If he's not on it, I understand that it will be much more of a fight to get access etc.

Any advice welcome!

Again you are focusing on the "rights" of the adult... whether male or female, can you not see that that is wrong. The important thing is their responsibility towards the child.

No he can't.
The plain and simple fact is no crt or judge will or can get involved before the baby is born and getting himself recognised as the babies father with all the responsibilities that comes with it will be a simple crt form small fee and a DNA test that proves paternity.
As for child residency that will automatically remain with the mother until the child is atleast a year and a bond has been established between the dc and the father

It’s one and the same.

Given that we don’t actually know if he is the father, if the mum doesn’t want to name him on the birth certificate I think any legal action has to take place after the birth as a paternity test would be needed .

There is nothing preventing him consulting a solicitor now. Which I would advise as this is a very long process. I did not say the solicitor can act now.

Why though? It’s not a complex process, despite OP claiming to be clueless it’s pretty a pretty common scenario. you don’t need a solicitor, why would he pay £300 to get told the same stuff he could read on gov.uk for free?

No it's not at all. If it was they wouldn't be separate words. Rights centres the wants of the parents... children are at the centre. Parents have responsibilities not rights.

What gives you the impression she is being bullied by the nephew from what is wrote here?

It’s one and the same.

www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities

And a solicitor (or any decent one) will tell him that theres nothing that can be done until the child is born and either he has a paternity test proving that he is the father or the mother agrees to have him recorded on the child's birth certificate.
Involving solicitor's at this point would be a waste of time, money and energy that would be better spent letting things cool of and trying to get to a place of civility that will allow a good co-parenting relationship than antagonising things with solicitor's.

I know people who have been through the process and it was long and drawn out. There is zero harm to anybody in him consulting a solicitor now to ensure he has all the legal facts. So I see no issue in him doing that now.

It’s none of your business, he’s a 35 year old man and you came in a forum asking for advice here’s what you said as a reminder

Are there any family lawyers on here who know whether he can force her hand in some wayl? Are there any legal means he can use before the baby is born - say, get an injunction?

You asked whether he could force her hand or get an injunction. If this is how he acts towards the mother of his children he’s vile. These words didn’t come out of nowhere that you used them. I’m disgusted that any man or member of his family would even think about using that terminology when a woman is about to give birth. It’s repulsive.

Involving solicitor's at this point would be a waste of time, money and energy that would be better spent letting things cool of and trying to get to a place of civility that will allow a good co-parenting relationship than antagonising things with solicitor's.

It’s not mutually exclusive. He can let things cool with his partner while also consulting an expert to start getting all the information now.

He can deal with it like an adult once the baby is born.

Is he paying her maintenance right now? What you mean by looking after her?

There is no information to get from anyone that a quick look at the government website will not give him. The fact is that until the child is born he cant do anything.

Why would putting his child into poverty help him or his child? A main caregiver very stressed about feeding or housing the children is awful for a child. Witholding maintenance is financially abusive please don’t recommend it.

I think you’ve assumed a second process will be needed- maybe child access arrangements. However we don’t know whether this will be an issue

Getting his name on the birth certificate is quick and relatively simple.

He is not going to thank you for sticking your beak in.

Stay completely out of it and support him emotionally right now.
Do not bad mouth the ex too much as this may be just temporary.

They need to let things settle down.

Considering they’ve got an 18 month old and one on the way, they must have had a half decent relationship at one time and so it’s likely that they’ll work out how to co-parent on their own.

I assume he cheated or something which is why she threw him out and so emotions and tensions are going to be very high right now.

It is a child’s right to have their father named on their birth certificate, in every circumstance. It is appalling behaviour for this woman to use this as leverage.

You keep saying that you are only doing ‘research’ on how he can get on the BC. Why ask Mumsnet instead of just using Google? It literally takes 30 seconds to get accurate information instead of opinions from laypeople that may or may not be accurate.

Sure. But all a solicitor will tell him is come back after the baby is born.

It's not a long process at all. C100 form takes an hour or so to complete. File it online, wait for hearing. Again, can't be done before baby is born.

well you were the one who straight away began talking about legal means and injunctions and forcing her hand

that language doesnt help

you could easily have asked for help into what can be done without using such emotive language

Whose house is it that she threw him out?