AIBU to find a lawyer for my nephew whose pregnant girlfriend says she doesn't want him on the birth certificate?

[Hillfarmer]

My lovely 35-year old nephew is in a very stormy relationship. He and his GF already have one DC of 18 months. She is pregnant again, due August - we could debate the rights and wrongs of that until the cows come home - but we are where we are. They have just had an almighty bust-up, she's kicked him out of the house and now telling him she won't have him on the birth certificate.

He is a devoted Dad and would be devastated not to have parental rights from the get-go, but what can he do? Are there any family lawyers on here who know whether he can force her hand in some wayl? Are there any legal means he can use before the baby is born - say, get an injunction?

He is named on the birth cerficate of his first DC and of course wants to be named on the second one's birth cert. If he's not on it, I understand that it will be much more of a fight to get access etc.

Any advice welcome!

Stay out of it! You do not know what is going on and your approach to this of fighting and legal advice makes me feel very sorry for the woman. No wonder she wants nothing to do with your family

what did your nephew do? did she catch him with her mum or something?

You don't need a lawyer. Let everything calm down and if they are still separated when the baby arrives, he just needs to apply to the court for PR. No big deal.

They are both playing the same game. She’s also making threats out of spite

Or maybe, just maybe, he wants to make sure he is allowed a fully active role as the father of the baby? She’s using threats to get what she wants - what a lovely thing for a mother to do to her unborn child.

Well that isn't what the law says. If OP's nephew had married the mother of his children, she couldn't leave him name off the birth certificate. As they aren't married, she can only put him on the birth certificate if they both attend the appointment at the Register Office and it sounds as though she doesn't want to do this. That is her right

After the birth, he can apply to the court to be given parental responsibility and to have his name on the birth certificate. I think he will need to have a DNA test to prove that he is the father.

He certainly shouldn't be harassing her via court orders and injunctions while she is pregnant.

Could equally be bullying to deny your childs father being named on the birth certificate couldn't it?

He just needs to apply for. Declaration of parentage.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/apply-for-a-declaration-about-whether-a-named-person-is-the-parent-of-another-named-person-form-c63

I think the most disturbing thing is nephews extended family ready to leap in with aggressive expensive action to work against the partner’s wishes.

surely you’re all mature enough to realise you need to step back and let them sort it?

god knows how you think the legal system can force this prior to birth. After birth you achieve this via a dna test

sounds like they deserve each other

Perhaps when the dust settles she may reconsider what she said in the heat of the moment during the "bust up".
We or you cant know everything that happened to lead to this unfortunate situation. I think legal action at this stage is unwise (although it may be the last resort if things dont resolve). If you want to support your nephew thats understandable but im sure hes capable of finding legal advice if it come to that.
My advice is to tell your nephew to let things settle then discuss again in an non threatening way with his ex what is best for their children.
A mum would have to have a very big reason for denying their child the right to have his/her Father named on the birth certificate and their may be more to this .....

so your lovely nephew wants to pretty much bully a heavily pregnant woman with legal action...... yeah hes lovely
What a pathetic response. She is the one with the problem if she is denying her child to have both parents responsible for them, unless she is sure he is not the father.

Thankfully the law is on his side. OP, he doesn't need a lawyer. He needs to wait for the birth and say he intends to be on the BC and get PR. If she refuses, he can just make an application to the court.

If she denies paternity, a DNA test will be offered, which she might have to pay for if he comes out to be the dad. He will then be granted to have his name on the bc and PR (unless the judge has very serious reasons to think he is a danger to the child).

Mothers don't get to control whether a father can be a father or not depending on her feelings.

He should back off for now and let things calm down and hopefully they can have an adult conversation.

After the child is born he can go to court to be named on the birth certificate if she maintains her current position.

All he needs to know right now is what his options are when the baby is born.

He gains nothing by being confrontational during her pregnancy.

He should focus on the child they share and being that child's father. The birth certificate can wait until the birth.

Poor bloody babies being stuck in the middle of that crap.

Devoted dad my arse.

Helping him pay for a solicitor is a good idea. Leading the charge is not. He needs to be proactive in seeking legal responsibility for his

Right now all that needs to be done regarding the pregnancy is to find someone to hire. He can’t file anything until the baby is born.

He also needs to set up child maintenance for his older child and negotiate a parenting schedule. He may or may not need a solicitor for this. If he balks at getting this done quickly and easily, I would not help him with the baby.

You and he are not lovely.

There’s nothing to stop him from taking on all the moral and financial responsibility he wishes.

He is the child's father and sounds like a caring one. She has no right to deprive him of his fatherhood imho. But I agree it might be better to hold off legal action for a while as nothing will be done now. DNA tests will probably be needed.

I totally agree with this . There's a lot men haters on this thread . Women can be horrible partners too .

And she just gets to threaten him but he has to take her offerings ! I can't understand woman that think they can play god with a childs life just so she can piss the dad off. Lowest of the low.

I have not mentioned this to DN at all. I just want to know what the legal contingencies are if it all goes wrong...there's nothing morally bad about being prepared for the worst. I want to 'be there' for him in a distressing situation. I have not inserted myself into their relationship or anything of the kind. I'm just doing the research and MN is a great place to stat. Usually 🥴

Thank you. That's what I needed to know!

I am not 'in it', I'm doing a spot of background research and contingency planning. No harm in that is there?

I am looking for useful information. I am not leaping in and I am not being aggressive, thanks very much. I am exploring the options as a back-up. DN is in no fit state to do it because he is devastated at the moment, so I am doing what I can. There's nothing wrong with finding out what the options are and I am grateful for most of the responses here. I didn't know about applying for a parental order, for example...so it's all good.

I wish people would not immediately ascribe evil intent or an attack on a pregnant woman.

Thank you for this.

Not helpful.