My partner and I have different expectations around sleep

[tiredoldthing]

I’m not sure if either of us are being unreasonable here or if it’s just incompatibility.

I’ve been with my partner for seven months. We’ve recently started to stay the night on a regular basis.

I get up at 5:40 in the week, to go to the gym. He is happy to roll out of bed at 8:30, and start work at 9. I don’t wake him in the morning as I leave.

He thinks that the fact I like to be asleep by 11 in the week and midnight at the weekend is “pathetic”. If he had his way we’d be up until 2/3am everyday.

As it stands by Friday I’m exhausted. My eyes are going, I nodded off on the sofa watching the football, and now I’m in bed I’ve been falling asleep. I’ve just about settled down for the night when he’s started to call me boring and said I can cope with a later night because it’s the weekend.

I can obviously have a late night, if I have plans etc., I will. But on an ordinary night I do like my routine because sleep is important to me and I don’t think I get enough of it.

Is one of us being unreasonable? Or are we just incompatible when it comes to this?

It really isn’t the same thing. I and the majority of people I know wake up between 5.30 and 6.15. I do know someone who wakes up at 4am to go to the gym which I find a bit extreme.

Not officially. Night time hours are 11pm - 7am. That’s why you can report nuisance noise during that time. It’s when the majority of people are asleep.

That’s your social circle. I only know one person who gets up at that time.

Well this thread clearly isn’t representative of the population as a whole. Overall, it’s much more common to go to bed after midnight than to get up before 6am.

Have you got any supporting evidence for this or is it just your opinion stated as fact?

My social circle, my colleagues, my family

Well it’s over.

He took it badly, as I expected, and left it on “good luck finding anyone who wants to be with a grandmother”

Good! What a weird thing to say, lots of people who are early risers have spouses/partners who are night owls.

Ignore him, he's an arsehole.

Congratulations on ridding yourself of an arsehole.

Sorry to hear that, OP (that it ended unpleasantly, not that it's over). I'd rather be well-rested and single than paired up and exhausted. And this grandmother has been happily partnered for 16 years so I hope you don't take it to heart! He didn't exactly sound like a catch ...

You're well rid. As for the Grandmother comment, what a dickish thing to say, my mother, in her late 70's is a night owl, goes to bed between 2-3am, and gets up at 10am, and my father has always gone to bed early and gets up early.

He's just a dick, I'm glad you ended it, there is no happiness for you with someone like him.

Gosh well you are well rid of such a toxic person. You will have no trouble finding someone who is a genuinely nice person and doesn't feel the need to be horrible to others. If they are a decent human being then it won't matter one bit if their sleep schedule doesn't perfectly match yours.

You are well out of it. What a fecking twat. 😖

Good that it’s over and he certainly betrayed himself with that comment and how he took it!

I’m so glad to see this post. He’s a bully who isn’t grown up enough to be in a relationship.

Well I think his response just confirms you are well rid. Hope you’re ok x

There will be a queue of women waiting to have a threesome with him and his X Box. He will have to fight them off….

Well done, OP! I hope you told him that you were no longer attracted to him, having got to know him better.

And good luck to him finding a younger woman who's into dirty old gits.

Congratulations OP, what a charmer he is - not! Living your life how you want to live it, not bending yourself out of shape for anyone, is freedom and joy.

So glad you finished it with this guy, OP. He's not nice. He spoke to you as if he despised you. God only knows why he thinks it's appropriate to speak to a girlfriend the way he was speaking to you but it shows he doesn't know how to treat women and is bad news.

Lucky escape op.

He’s jealous of you managing to go to the gym!

I don't know a single person going to bed after midnight. Not one, but then my social circle pretty much all work or are at school.

OP it doesn't matter that you have different sleep cycles. Yours is every bit as valid as his. What matters is this, he us being nasty to make you bend to his whim.

Run away. Quickly.