AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

[Kim926]

Our next-door neighbours have a daughter in the same Reception class as my son.

We already help each other with school pick-ups occasionally, and I've been happy with that arrangement.

The mum is now increasing her working days to three days a week after maternity leave and has asked if, on those three mornings, they can leave their daughter with us before work so that I can take her to school with my son.

For a bit more context, the mum isn't unable to drive, but she doesn't drive. Her husband drives her to work, which is about 15 minutes away, and this is why they need someone else to take their daughter to school on those mornings.

They literally live next door and I'm obviously going to the same school anyway, so I know it might not sound like a huge extra task. I also have a two-year-old at home, though, and mornings with my own two children are already busy.

I think what has made me uncomfortable is that this isn't really an occasional favour or helping out in an emergency. It would be a regular three-day-a-week arrangement because of their change in working pattern. It feels a little like their childcare/school run responsibility is being transferred to us simply because we happen to live next door and our children attend the same school.

I also feel awkward saying no because we are literally next-door neighbours and I will inevitably see them at school drop-off on the days I've said I can't do it.

AIBU to think three mornings every week is quite a lot to ask of a neighbour? Or is this considered a fairly normal favour between families when the children go to the same school?

Their problem, not yours. I would say no, very sorry just not convenient. End of.

YANBU you’re not a childminder! Very cheeky to even ask.

As an aside aren’t most 4 year olds still in car seats? How are you meant to get her there safely?

Och no!

Did you have them from 7:30am 3 days a week? That’s what this lot are asking for.

I'm surprised one person working 3 days a week can support a family of 5.

3 kids bring in a fair chunk these days.

You've made rather a big assumption there and made your opinion known.

So what?

I went to a neighbour every morning from yr 2 to yr 5. I either sat in the living room reading or played with the other child if she was already ready for school before her brothers.
I can honestly say that I was never any bother.

No I wouldn't be happy with that at all,unless she agrees to take yours the other 2 days,then maybe. What would happen if your child was ill for example? How would other child get to school?

Fancy agreeing a new working pattern that relied on the good will of a neighbour to enable it - and not even asking the neighbour beforehand!

Until the day child is dropped off feeling a bit under the weather and is chucking it's ring up by the time comes to leave the house.

Where is the school? Is it within a mile? How old
is the girl?

I agree with this. It’s a massive ask, really cheeky and you have your own busy mornings to deal with.

well you’ve already done pick ups so I guess you can’t use the excuse you haven’t got enough car seats. Out of interest do people have extra car seats for guest children? I can never give lifts as my car is set up for my kids only.

but honestly I would say I can’t commit to that much, it’s too much. Relying on you because of work means you are (free) childcare

This. Plus, it's just too much to commit to. Do we know why the mum chooses not to drive? Not that it matters but it seems unless she's got a driving phobia or something (I had one, but conquered it) seems daft not to drive if it would solve the problem.

Ah. No. That i definitely wouldnt do 🤣

And considering how majorly thankful my neighbour has been about me walking her kid to school 3 days a week, im absoloutly amazed anyone could be cheeky enough to expect free childcare from 7.30am. OP is not a before school club!

The “passenger princess while I provide free childcare” comment has really stuck with me 😂

I'm starting to feel a bit of a mug for providing free childcare while he's actually at home. I suppose I never really saw it as childcare before because they helped me with the mornings, but this new request has made me look at the whole thing differently.

I heard she has a driving phobia, although I have seen her drive once or twice before.

I find that the issue with these things is usually not the actual hassle of doing it but more the fact that it starts to feel like it's obligatory and will cause bad feelings if you stop. Like when people get used to a lift and then get all mardy when you stop, despite the fact you've already done a lot more for them than the people that never taxied them about in the first place.

🤣🤣🤣

I'd honestly rather take and collect my own dc than deal with this rubbish! They are taking the piss!

It's about a 5–10 minute drive or a 30-minute walk. She's five years old.

They are making a mug of you. If she can’t drive or won’t drive he will need to drop her off 20/30min early to be back in time for school starting and take the kids with him in the morning!

He can also do pick ups with two kids if you can with one!!!

You say, 'that's fine - I've actually been looking for ways to make some extra money. Shall we say £15 an hour?'

Or 'the arrangement has been working well with me dropping off and you picking up but now you're returning to work it's all getting a bit complicated so let's go back to dropping off and picking up our own kids. Still very happy to help in an emergency'