Page 12 | AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

Kim926 · 2026-07-10T19:01:34+00:00

Our next-door neighbours have a daughter in the same Reception class as my son. We already help each other with school pick-ups occasionally, and I've been happy with that arrangement. The mum is now increasing her working days to three days a week after maternity leave and has asked if, on those three mornings, they can leave their daughter with us before work so that I can take her to school with my son. For a bit more context, the mum isn't unable to drive, but she doesn't drive. Her husband drives her to work, which is about 15 minutes away, and this is why they need someone else to take their daughter to school on those mornings. They literally live next door and I'm obviously going to the same school anyway, so I know it might not sound like a huge extra task. I also have a two-year-old at home, though, and mornings with my own two children are already busy. I think what has made me uncomfortable is that this isn't really an occasional favour or helping out in an emergency. It would be a regular three-day-a-week arrangement because of their change in working pattern. It feels a little like their childcare/school run responsibility is being transferred to us simply because we happen to live next door and our children attend the same school. I also feel awkward saying no because we are literally next-door neighbours and I will inevitably see them at school drop-off on the days I've said I can't do it. AIBU to think three mornings every week is quite a lot to ask of a neighbour? Or is this considered a fairly normal favour between families when the children go to the same school?

Cycleaway · Yesterday 08:37

There is a world of difference between helping someone out in a scrape and being expected to be someone’s free childcare because they don’t like driving

Wadsworthy · Yesterday 08:40

Cinnamonroles · 10/07/2026 20:03

I personally would agree to it, as long as there’s a reciprocal arrangement like they take your DC on the other 2 days, or help with pick ups? Generally I find as my DC have got older this has become more common and I appreciate the help.

Excellent first answer.

Or the alternative is to charge them for childcare - the equivalent of a breakfast club charge. They do seem to be relying on you as regular childcare, as if you have no other commitments.

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:41

B1anche · Yesterday 08:35

Ooh...looks like the CF neighbour has joined the chat.

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I am not a CF and nor am I the neighbour. I just have a different opinion. No need to be personally offensive.

HarshbutTrue2 · Yesterday 08:41

I met a mum at toddlers who asked for a favour. I obliged. She was all over me. Then stopped speaking to me because I was no longer useful. She was actually a condescending cow.

Fast forward to primary school. I avoided her. I watched her get pally with mum after mum. Each time she wanted delivery and collection, and other favours. Every time the other mum was only too willing to help. Every time, she didn't reciprocate. Every time, the other mother got fed up and dropped out.

She soon found a new mum to latch on to. The pattern repeated itself until the end of primary.

The last time I saw her being condescending was when she told someone that their kids couldn't go to the secondary school they wanted. She told them that they were out of catchment.
The parents concerned just went and bought an £800k house in an even better catchment area.

The moral of this story is: if you agreed you would be taken for granted, used and abused and cast aside.
Another moral is that you learn an awful lot by standing in the playground watching and listening.

Sereine · Yesterday 08:43

JohnnieFedora · Yesterday 08:02

Wait. So they've been taking your kid all this time, and now they're asking the favour back you won't do it???

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The post you're responding to literally explains that OP give the favour back by collecting their child every day. Where do you get the idea that OP is refusing to return the favour?

Notthebenicecrew · Yesterday 08:48

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:32

I don’t think it is too hard. If she ever wanted to change it all she has to do is say from the outset that she can do it but it isn’t a permanent thing.
Next door. Unless the child is some sort of terrible child I cannot see the problem. She is going to the school anyway.
I doubt she sees in it terms of one hour of free childcare. But can I drop of my child and you drop her to school.
The world has gone mad.

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The world hasnt gone mad
Women are sick of " be nice" and are standing up for themselves
Do men get berated and told to be nice and do school runs and put themselves out for others?
Like fuck they do
So Op will be doing 8 school runs to their 2

No thanks , I dont like mornings so wouldnt want neighbours coming round and a random child in my house at that time
We had this went a school mum asked if we could take her DC to school , her second child was temporarily at a different school until a place came up.
DH said yes of course, raced around, left early, got to the house, went in and glanced into the kitchen where the DH was eating a full english !
Yeah that stopped immediately
Same here, the DW doesnt like driving herself to work so Op is expected to inconvenience herself so that the DW isnt inconvenienced
That utter foolishness and mug written on your forehead territory!
WTAF!

Gemilo · Yesterday 08:51

Kim926 · Yesterday 08:18

They asked my husband, not me, though I am the one who does, funnily enough! He'll be the one answering.

Edited

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What a cheek - going through him. Good call though, to get him to answer.

Rpop · Yesterday 08:52

NotTheMrMenAgain · 10/07/2026 21:36

What on Earth is going on here? How many times per week are you collecting their child from school, already? While they can’t reciprocate at all, because “reasons” - including the fact he apparently can’t possibly take his two younger kids with him to collect the eldest from school - like literally millions of parents must do, each school day? But it’s easy for you to do, because you only have one younger child and are going anyway?

And now, they’re asking you to do the morning school run with their eldest, three days per week? Because of, again, their “reasons” - which sound more like self-imposed limitations than actual reasons - which in any event are none of your concern and not your problem.

And you are actually considering this? Why?! Do you have aspirations to become an unpaid childminder? What possible reason could make you even consider this? Why do these neighbours seem to think they have a right to your time/attention/energy? It’s all a bit mad.

Tell you what, I’ve got an idea. Doggie daycare is really expensive, and I’m in the office a couple of days per week. Why don’t I drop the hound round at yours in the morning - I mean, you’ll be there ANYWAY. And you can take her for walks, on the school run - because you’ll be going ANYWAY. And it’ll make my life easier, more convenient and less expensive. Oh, I won’t offer you any form of payment or favours back, because, you know - “reasons” - but you won’t mind. Because it won’t be an effort, inconvenience or any work for you AT ALL. And I’m not taking the absolute piss or being a CF AT ALL, just because I don’t value your time and want you to do free childcare to facilitate my life………

This is so clearly put. You think very clearly. I need you in my life.

OP - this really is an imposition. I’d be saying that it’s so stressful juggling everything and you already feel like you are firefighting that you could do it for a short while until they can get a more sustainable plan sorted. Like breakfast club, after school club, child minder, changes to their routine etc. but then I struggle to see what’s reasonable and am probably too wishy washy. It is very CF ish.

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:59

Notthebenicecrew · Yesterday 08:48

The world hasnt gone mad
Women are sick of " be nice" and are standing up for themselves
Do men get berated and told to be nice and do school runs and put themselves out for others?
Like fuck they do
So Op will be doing 8 school runs to their 2

No thanks , I dont like mornings so wouldnt want neighbours coming round and a random child in my house at that time
We had this went a school mum asked if we could take her DC to school , her second child was temporarily at a different school until a place came up.
DH said yes of course, raced around, left early, got to the house, went in and glanced into the kitchen where the DH was eating a full english !
Yeah that stopped immediately
Same here, the DW doesnt like driving herself to work so Op is expected to inconvenience herself so that the DW isnt inconvenienced
That utter foolishness and mug written on your forehead territory!
WTAF!

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This is a specific situation not a generalised one.
The OP is taking her children anyway.
True she can decide not to be nice.

LejlaKapovic · Yesterday 08:59

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:28

Sorry I think you are being unreasonable.
Your next door neighbour wants to drop off her child with you. Your children and you are going to the school anyway.
I fail to see why you wouldn’t do this.
Any scenario where you could not do it then you could not and they would need a work around. But generally this seems an easy thing to do.

I am sure if they could do something in return they would do. But you don’t have to do things just to get something back either. Just do it. Because it isn’t hard and you are doing it anyway with your own children. They are next door. You won’t have far to go if there is a delay or something wrong.

Just because you are able to do someone a favour doesn't mean you're obliged to do it. And just because you're doing something anyway doesn't mean you should do it for someone else, too.

The OP doesn't WANT to commit to this arrangement, because it's NOT reciprocal. She doesn't want to be taken advantage of or inconvenienced just to make the life of someone, who could solve their own problem by actually getting behind the wheel herself, easier - but harder for herself. Absolutely not!

Moonnstarz · Yesterday 09:00

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:28

Sorry I think you are being unreasonable.
Your next door neighbour wants to drop off her child with you. Your children and you are going to the school anyway.
I fail to see why you wouldn’t do this.
Any scenario where you could not do it then you could not and they would need a work around. But generally this seems an easy thing to do.

I am sure if they could do something in return they would do. But you don’t have to do things just to get something back either. Just do it. Because it isn’t hard and you are doing it anyway with your own children. They are next door. You won’t have far to go if there is a delay or something wrong.

Isn't this the role of a childminder which people pay for? Expecting someone to look after an additional child for free and drop them to school is a lot.
At 7.30 my kids are only just getting up. Who wants an extra child hanging around, plus I expect would probably need to join in with breakfast too as you can't exactly sit them in a room alone while the rest of the family eats.

LejlaKapovic · Yesterday 09:01

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePleaseBarista · 10/07/2026 23:23

I once took a friend’s child for three months as a favour with parent working away… it changed the dynamic in our house as we do special advent calendars/treats from the elf etc and this child didn’t get that so I found myself holding back or buying extra etc. Our chats felt polite instead of spontaneous, literally hosting each morning and managing breakfast and meltdowns over things the parent forgot to send plus the day the child threw up and the mum said can I just keep her all day as she was at work and ‘it’s in your house now’ as if she wouldn’t have had to fetch them from school had it happened 30min later.

How on Earth did you allow this continue for 3 months?!?!?!

IronEverything · Yesterday 09:02

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:32

I don’t think it is too hard. If she ever wanted to change it all she has to do is say from the outset that she can do it but it isn’t a permanent thing.
Next door. Unless the child is some sort of terrible child I cannot see the problem. She is going to the school anyway.
I doubt she sees in it terms of one hour of free childcare. But can I drop of my child and you drop her to school.
The world has gone mad.

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Oh the world certainly has gone mad.

When did it become acceptable for a grown woman to ask someone else to do something her husband is perfectly capable of doing, just because she can't be bothered to get herself to work?

Phineyj · Yesterday 09:03

IronEverything · Yesterday 08:30

They want an hour of free child care at 7:30am and the school run doing, three times a week. Doesn't sound easy to me.

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Yes, have a look on Koru Kids and you'll quickly find the rate for this is around £30 a day! If you can even find a nanny available the correct 3 days and with a car.

Phineyj · Yesterday 09:04

So actually a taxi to work would likely be cheaper and easier to arrange.

LejlaKapovic · Yesterday 09:05

gamerchick · 10/07/2026 22:51

So what?

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So, why the HELL would she do this with nothing in it for her but inconvenience? Would you do extra hours at work without any compensation? Same thing.

Monty36 · Yesterday 09:05

LejlaKapovic · Yesterday 08:59

Just because you are able to do someone a favour doesn't mean you're obliged to do it. And just because you're doing something anyway doesn't mean you should do it for someone else, too.

The OP doesn't WANT to commit to this arrangement, because it's NOT reciprocal. She doesn't want to be taken advantage of or inconvenienced just to make the life of someone, who could solve their own problem by actually getting behind the wheel herself, easier - but harder for herself. Absolutely not!

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No need to shout at me. If the OP doesn’t want to do she doesn’t want to do it.

Hadenough32 · Yesterday 09:05

No way. School runs are your time with your kid before you're separated for 6hrs. Just tell them your child struggles as prefers it 1:1 (toddler doesn't count) and occasionally has been fine but you can't do it on the regular it's too stressful.
If you do agree then it shouldn't be to come in your house in the mornings. You will knock for them as you leave and they can come strap her in x

Cycleaway · Yesterday 09:05

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:59

This is a specific situation not a generalised one.
The OP is taking her children anyway.
True she can decide not to be nice.

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Why does she have to be ‘nice’? She can very kindly not wish to enter into an agreement that disadvantages her. Is it ‘nice’ of her neighbour to have agreed to a new working pattern that will put the OP out without consulting her? Is it ‘nice’ that she can drive to work and negate any of the need for this, but doesn’t?

Im all for helping people and showing human kindness, but that isn’t what this is. It’s a self-serving expectation to convenience themselves.

With all of the people on mumsnet who berate posters for not volunteering the free lifts/childcare/pet care that they would happily hand out, it’s amazing that anyone finds themselves in a scrape to be honest.

TellingBone · Yesterday 09:05

If all that's stopping you saying no is the fact that you're neighbours and it would be awkward then I think you don't need to worry. They need you on side because you already do plenty for them.

Monty36 · Yesterday 09:06

Cycleaway · Yesterday 09:05

Why does she have to be ‘nice’? She can very kindly not wish to enter into an agreement that disadvantages her. Is it ‘nice’ of her neighbour to have agreed to a new working pattern that will put the OP out without consulting her? Is it ‘nice’ that she can drive to work and negate any of the need for this, but doesn’t?

Im all for helping people and showing human kindness, but that isn’t what this is. It’s a self-serving expectation to convenience themselves.

With all of the people on mumsnet who berate posters for not volunteering the free lifts/childcare/pet care that they would happily hand out, it’s amazing that anyone finds themselves in a scrape to be honest.

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I didn’t introduce the word nice. The previous poster said women were sick of being nice.
So I just said that was correct. She doesn’t have to be.

Cycleaway · Yesterday 09:08

Monty36 · Yesterday 09:06

I didn’t introduce the word nice. The previous poster said women were sick of being nice.
So I just said that was correct. She doesn’t have to be.

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I should have read properly and not directed that at you, sorry about that

Notthebenicecrew · Yesterday 09:12

Monty36 · Yesterday 08:59

This is a specific situation not a generalised one.
The OP is taking her children anyway.
True she can decide not to be nice.

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I know its a specific situation thats what I replied to
You missed a specific part of the detail
The DW can drive
They are expecting the Op to step in and
Inconvenience herself so that they dont have to
Bonkers!

Monty36 · Yesterday 09:12

Cycleaway · Yesterday 09:08

I should have read properly and not directed that at you, sorry about that

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That s okay. Thanks for the apology.

Monty36 · Yesterday 09:14

Notthebenicecrew · Yesterday 09:12

I know its a specific situation thats what I replied to
You missed a specific part of the detail
The DW can drive
They are expecting the Op to step in and
Inconvenience herself so that they dont have to
Bonkers!

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I think someone said she couldn’t because she has a phobia. Who knows ?
I think there is a difference between asking and expecting.
But the OP has made up her mind so there we are.