AIBU to raise this comment about DD’s sleepover with school?

[onyourbill]

Honestly don’t know if I am or not!

All very much kids stuff but 12 year “friend” of DD, who we have nothing but endless trouble with, has gone round telling people at school that my DH will sleep with the girls at DD’s upcoming birthday sleepover which obviously isn’t happening whatsoever. She obviously means in the same room, but I’m really not comfortable with her saying this whatsoever as she knows exactly what she’s saying. AIBU to speak with school or am I overthinking?

This kid has been relentless for months with my DD so I’m very aware that it doesn’t take much for her to completely naff we off…

It’s perfectly clear in the OP that there is no truth in the allegation that DH would sleep in the same room.

It is dangerous, I have knowledge of people’s lives being ruined by this, and it absolutely needs dealing with, it cannot be ignored. The child sounds very troubled, and, as you don’t know her family, all kinds of things could be going on in her life. To protect your husband and perhaps even the girl herself, or to alert the school to the fact that she is inventing immoral accusations, I think you should make an appointment to see the Head Teacher as soon as possible.
Also, if the party still goes ahead, your husband needs to stay overnight with someone who could witness that he stayed with them, just in case the girls accusations escalate. This is not extreme, it is for your husband’s protection. I know about such things.

I thought she was very clear that DH would not be in the same room.

I’d just like to say that I understood she didn’t mean he’d sleep in the same room as them immediately because THAT WOULD BE INSANE.

We had a similar issue with our year 9 boy. One kid was being a pain started with just mild childish stuff which we tried to just ignore then our child came back very upset one day. The other kid had been spreading around school my husband was a paedophile and I was a porn star! We contacted school that night emailing the head at 7pm by 9pm we had a response and by 9am the next day our son and all kids involved had been interviewed and it was dealt with extremely fast. The school were brilliant and took it very seriously.

Thanks for all the replies and advice. My DH spoke with the parents last night who were mortified and have spoken with their DD. She is now banned from coming into our home. Fingers crossed, this will now be the end of it.

Good result. You can’t be too careful some young teens can exhibit extremely odd bizarre behavior. A “friend” of DDs when they were 13 spread extraordinary and mad lies about our family. It’s was actually terrifying.

She later admitted she was bored and abit jealous. Dear god. Dd has had nothing to do with her for years your post reminded me
of it. I don’t think some
of them realise the potential seriousness of what they are saying.

No it wasn’t “perfectly clear”. It was clear DH wasn’t going to “sleep with” the children but not clear that he wasn’t staying in the same room as them overnight. Hence a multitude of posters pointing out this was concerning.

It really is terrifying isn’t it when you think of the damage these things could potentially cause? Sadly, it appears it’s all driven by jealousy which is sad.

I think the wording was a bit clumsy but I took it as a given that OP's DH would not be "sleeping with" the girls in either sense.

I think the wording was a bit clumsy but I took it as a given that OP's DH would not be "sleeping with" the girls in either sense.

Yes; I don't know why so many posters have leapt to the idea that he might be sleeping in the same room.

The Op's post is perfectly clear. Husband is not going to be sleeping in the same room 🙄

dd1 had a bully spreading rumours at school that I was dealing drugs, I'm a pharmacist so not great. We spoke to the school who got the police liason officer involved(the girl was 14 so knew exactly what she was doing) he spoke to us and then the girl and her mother and thankfully that aspect stopped although the general bullying stopped. She was eventually expelled, refused to attend pru and the last we heard (in her early twenties) was that she was an alcoholic and in and out of prison. She obviously had major psychological problems but took it out on dd1 and her friends

I can't believe how thick so many of the people commenting are. OP said her husband is NOT sleeping with them. The girl is making it up. Stop bashing people before you have the correct brain conprehsion to read a post

That's not how I read it, I read it that this school girl is implying he is and "sleeping" is not what he will be doing and that is what is upsetting the OP

Perfect way to handle it.

Seen update

Had the girl been coming around regularly?

So is “banning” her going to even be noticed? Very unlikely she’s been to your your house given you say she’s been bullying your dd for months, and she wasn’t even invited to the party

OP said has gone round telling people at school that my DH will sleep with the girls at DD’s upcoming birthday sleepover which obviously isn’t happening whatsoever. She obviously means in the same room, but I’m really not comfortable with her saying this whatsoever as she knows exactly what she’s saying.

And in a post three minutes later He isn’t and never ever would! That’s the whole point!

What are you not clear on ?

I totally disagree!

No, thank god.

I usually encourage my dd to fight her own battles but sorry OP if one of her 'friends' was saying things like this about my DH she would never cross the threshold of my house again. I would message her parents explaining why. He shouldn't have to but your husband has to make absolutely sure that he can't put himself in a situation in which he can be accused of anything. Even if this girl doesn't come I'd still encourage him to leave the house for the night. This is despicable and high risk behaviour from this child and at 12 she knows what she's doing

Had she been coming over at all?

Please do still make school safeguarding aware of this even if her parents are dealing with it.