To not attend this party as it’s at the child’s home?

[hiddenforest]

Normally I love a kids party but this one is in someone’s home. When this has happened before I find it so stressful trying to make sure my children don’t accidentally break something or go somewhere they aren’t supposed to.

I don't think that's a reason to deprive your child of a party. How old is your DC? Can't you speak to them beforehand and tell them to be careful, only stay in the party area etc?

They're kids. The parents are expecting them to act like kids if they've invited them into their house. Unclench.

You sound quite over-anxious, it’s quite normal to have social gatherings in people’s homes if they have the space. Is there a particular reason why you think your kids will break something or run off where they shouldn’t?

Ridiculous. It's a home where children live where you have been invited. It's not like going to the home of an elderly maiden aunt with breakable nick-nacks on every surface.

Unless your child is prone to deliberately smashing stuff and scribbling on walls. I which case take them anyway and practise keeping them under control.

I personally would never have a party at home. But have no qualms about going to someone else’s. My kids have been taught manners so it’s no issue.

That’s awful OP. People often have parties at their homes because they can’t afford a venue or to save a bit of money. And it comes across as snobby like you don’t want your kid mixing with those kids. Dressing it up as “worried they might break something” is ridiculous. No one irl will buy that unless your kid is the Tasmanian Devil. What if everyone didn’t turn up because it’s at someone’s house? Poor birthday kid, his parents are just trying their best.

We had ds7 party at home this year. I made some rooms a no go area and moved anything breakable. Honestly you will be fine

Does you child frequently break things in your house? If not then they'll probably be fine in someone else's house that has kids.

My kids are tweens/teens but we usually have parties at home with lots of kids. Birthday, Christmas, BBQs, etc. Nothing around to be broken and in all the years we have been hosting only one small issue and that was to be with toilet training. It will be fine.

I could understand this response if I’d said in my OP that I thought it would be really dull and boring but it isn’t that.

DS has been taught manners as I’d expect but equally I do know he can easily get over excitable and silly, especially at parties and unfortunately experience tells me that’s when he starts charging around and that’s when I start to stress. I have been to a party at someone’s home before where a lot of toys did get trampled on and broken (not by ds I might add) and the host was most pissed off about it!

Why would they break things and go where they shouldn’t?

Because kids get stupid and manic and hyped up.

When I was a child all parties were at peoples homes. My Mum did ban them shortly after my brothers 7th after his friends broke an antique chair. My friends were nice, they never broke anything. If parents are worried about children breaking stuff they child put valuables away.

You have said how your child behaves when excited, and so you would be reasonable to decline, and perhaps explain to the parent why if you wish.

Same, but I am not sure if we were as young (ds is 5, should have said that sorry.) I genuinely can’t remember. It was also a different time regarding discipline!

Surely if they are hosting a bunch of sugared-up kids in their own home they will have put away the major breakables/heirlooms/precious items? If not then it's at least partly on them.

You’d think but it’s hard to completely hide everything. I also think many parents don’t realise how mad it is until they have the children there (this was what happened with the last one, which I have to admit I did find really stressful!)

Surely kids parties are often at home? Not because of money, but because that's where they live?

We have done a mixture, depending on what the child in question wants. Always more stressful for the parent than the guests.

If he gets too hyper, leave and deal with the fall out.

I’ve only ever been to one at a child’s home.

@PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ parents aren’t staying.

If your child is 5 why do you need to go with him to the party?
When my children were that age they had parties at home. I didn't expect their parents to attend.
I can't remember anything being broken.
Surely people with children have other children in their homes all the time and if they are holding a party at home they will be aware and relaxed about the disruption.
Are you generally anxious about things? Does your child never normally go to friends houses to play? It all seems very sad

It’ll be in the garden anyway surely?

To be honest most parties I’ve been to have parents staying @Tryagain26 . But in this instance we aren’t staying due to space and that’s the worry, that without me there he’ll just go a bit manic. I know he didn’t break anything at the other party we went to because I was watching him like a hawk, but this one won’t have that option

Re play dates yes but two main differences are that firstly I’m there (it’s the done thing here) and also it only tends to be with one other child, not loads.

I don’t think it’s sad to potentially miss one party when we’ve been to loads!

It’s normal to have parties at people’s homes! All my DC parties were at home, as were the vast majority of their friends. Nothing got broken. Surely you don’t stay with your child at age five?

I definitely know friendships which have broken down after kids caused damage at other kids' parties. My son used to get hyper at parties too and in retrospect I wish I'd just kept him home as (1) it was stressful for me chasing him round and (2) even though he never broke anything as I always managed him, it gave other families an unfair impression of his behavior as he would get so overexcited at parties they thought he would be hyper on playdates where actually he would always be calm and well behaved in general.