To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

@rwalker You're OK with "friends" bitching about you/mocking you to others behind your back? You don't think this is the only time that this person has done this to the OP, do you? I really doubt it and personally, if I discover that someone's like this, I drop them. Life's too short to spend with people like that.

OP, book yourself into a hotel, go to the cinema or a show - do something nice for yourself that night.

@JoyousLilacFawn a bit more context, just fyi

Dinnertext · Yesterday 22:53
She has sent a long reply and said that both her and her Husband had extremely upset stomach’s last time but she felt too polite to mention and to decline the invite. She says she thinks some of the ingredients I used were from places they wouldn’t usually shop and so didn’t agree with her. She has suggested they come round but only for drinks and said they are happy to bring some crisps/olives with them.
I just say I do feel offended. I’m sorry to hear she was ill but 1. We were fine and 2. I wish she told me at the time. We might not shop at Waitrose like she does, but we put a lot of effort in and it does feel sad to know that’s how she feels.

She implied she got heartburn not a full on character assignation

Yuck at the men’s misogyny

I would tell DH the game is off. If he really won't support you then he can pay for you to book into a fancy hotel for the night and tell him I would be using the time to do some serious thinking about the relationship and his priorities.

Personally I would be telling dh you are upset about his response and that football is more important than your feelings and the fact your ‘friend’ has been incredibly rude and still not apologised. He should be standing with you on this and you are extremely disappointed in him

i would tell him I am no longer interested in having a relationship with either of them and that if he wants the husband to come over for the football that’s his choice but you will not be doing any hosting and that includes getting anything in

i would the either arrange to go out or watch TV in another room and leave them to it

No she didn’t she said it was a very upset stomach, which implies the shits and not just heartburn, and suggested it was because OP uses inferior ingredients to her

Yes exactly this, the content of the message implies she’s discussed it with the intended recipient beforeand is continuing the dig /“joke”

Your husband’s response is also extremely annoying and quite disloyal - does he not care it was aimed at both of you? Even if he’s not offended, the fact that you are, means he should support you and at the very least, organise to go out to the pub.

He is correct.

You are hurt and I am not surprised. Your friend is bitchy and I would never cook for her again.

But there is no reason why the men shouldn't still be friends.

You don’t get it. It’s not necessarily the fact that she had some sort of stomach upset it’s the fact that she made the comment she did to someone else and sent it to the op in error

then didn’t apologise for the upset she caused.

so she’s happy to make bitchy comments about the ops hosting but not actually apologise. And if she’s happy to make such a comment what other comments has she made

Gosh there’s a load of people assuming the worst of a friend on here!! I wouldn’t mention pepto - but I definitely might say something like “ I’ll steer clear of the scales the next morning”. To me it’s saying that she feels incredibly well fed and that your food is so delicious she over indulges way more than she would normally eat at home. Only you know if your long standing “ friend” is actually a horror, or genuinely nice - but I certainly wouldn’t jump to conclusions and be offended over this. !!

Laugh it off if she is your friend

"usual female drama"
How incredibly patronising! And not usual at all, it sounds like he's been in this situation before, with his wife causing issues.
I'd be busy when he comes round, what a prat.

And OP hasn’t suggested they can’t be - but there is no reason why they can’t go and be friends at the pub this Saturday is there?

Me too. It just means she's going to eat too much. If it's in any way a complaint it will be about the amount of food, not the quality of it.

@rwalker Yes, she talks about the OP in a negative way to other people. She doesn't need friends like that.

That was my take on it too. Might not be an insult.

Two things that stand out here...
Firstly, she has gossiped about you behind your back (and got caught out). This is quite hurtful.
Secondly, she suggested takeaway. So she'd rather eat a takeaway than eat your homecooked food? Sounds like, rather than apologising, she's dug herself a bigger hole.
I wouldn't want her at my house either.

Well OP's DH says the pub is crap for football, which I can understand, but there's no reason why he can't go over to Hyacinth's place and watch it with her husband there instead. Let her do the tidying up after them instead.

Well your DH is a disloyal cunt.

So I’m not the only idiot! Noted!

OP, I think I would message on Saturday at teatime saying you've cooked your own dinner with your inferior ingredients and given yourself diarrhoea, so they'll need to watch the match elsewhere as you will be staying on the toilet chugging on the pepto bismol. Cheeky fuckers, the lot of them.

Just drop the rope OP...don't do anything to host...it's your DH's turn..just don't get involved

Read the full thread...i thought that Yesterday...the updates make things clear