To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

Read the full thread

I would arrange to be out that evening. If DH & his mate want to watch the game, then fine, but you dont need to be there.

Your friend bitching to a mutual friend that you dont buy the right brands from the right shops is mean spirited and profoundly ignorant of basic manners.

I wouldnt host her again, nor would I waste my time on the company of Mr "Let the little ladies sort out their own squabbles". I wouldnt avoid her particularly, but it woukd change my opinion of her.

Regardless of how ill the dinner guest felt, she shouldn’t be discussing the next dinner date with a 3rd party in that manner…

Check the date the thread starts then follow the updates ..you are missing the friends excuses ....she is horrendous

I think it’s very telling that your friends DH said ‘usual female drama’ that screams that your ex friend clearly has a habit of pissing people off.

Yuck, absolutely I’d not want to host this person and would probably be the end of the friendship.

They obviously had some sort of bug and blamed it on your cooking. Her explanation regarding your substandard ingredients was the nail on the coffin and adds insult to injury!

Your completely unsupportive DH needs sorting out. No, it’s not okay for him to join in with jokes about “female drama.” No, it’s not okay for him to invite his friend into your space when you aren’t comfortable with it. I’d be just as annoyed with him as your former friend TBH.

She may have been unwell after- completely nothing to do with your food. I don’t think the comment on pepto in itself is an issue.

But telling other people is the bit that would annoy me. It’s rude and she doesn’t know the food made her ill.

I think that’s quite shit of your DP, @Dinnertext

Should be ditching them

Jeez read the thread will you?!

Agree. I think it’s reference to fine dining and wines which is a compliment.

otherwise it might say stock up on immodium.

SHE is the one throwing away the friendship not you. She did that when she bitched about you so nastily to a different friend. Haven’t RTFT but that needs pointing out to her.

How can you trust her not to bitch about you behind your back in future? It would need a lot of grovelling on her point if I was ever going to consider being friends with her in the future.

Who are you agreeing with? Yourself?

What does the husband say about them both being ill last time? Because I think that’s bullshit.

The audacity to say substandard ingredients!!!

She sounds awful, bitching like a teenager totally unnecessarily to a friend who clearly they’ve had similar conversations before, not apologising and wanting to dust under the carpet.

Total friendship ending for me, hope you’re ok.

Also, her husband is a patronising misogynist twat to dismiss this as “female drama”, I’d want to swerve him in future too.

I don't like bad feeling/second guessing. I'd have just replied with: "charming! If you'd rather not do dinner, its no big deal"

She could have just been hungover & bloated last time & meant that. You'll never know unless you ask, I guess

Honestly I wouldn't waste any more energy on it. Go out and leave them to it. Whatever kind of good man your husband is, he's been really patronising in his approach

I would take this as her meaning she’s planning on overindulging.

Personally I think it’s an over reaction on your part. Some MN love the drama with the replies. She didn’t say anything mean about you. She has stated she doesn’t want this to end the friendship but your ego is bruised. I think she messaged a friend and said can’t make a meal and they are privy to knowing the info from last time. Everyone looks into things. It could have been a simple ‘how was your night’ from a friend asking and her saying great albeit had terrible stomach today. Nothing more and then referencing it again. Everyone always jumps to worse case. Why don’t you call like adults rather than all these messages and you could be creating a whole narrative on your head or not.

Does it hurt when you pretzel yourself so hard to try to find fault with Op? Must hurt your neck.

The ex friend is a snot, her h is a misogynistic fuck, and so is Op's h.

Who needs people like this? What a waste of life.

Ooh I think it’s just a compliment on your delicious food, she probably means she over indulges as you’re a great cook!

Only joking, I’ve read the fucking thread.

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Don't do that to me!!!

🤣

Be the bigger person, call don’t text, laugh about the fact she doesn’t like your cooking (she hasn’t said you’re a bad person) and suggest a take out which is less effort. Never argue by text and there’s no point sending a question mark to the mis-sent text, you knew exactly what happened, that was just passive aggressive. And maybe you’re not a good cook , which is fine!

It’s not about her response to your food surely, but about the bitching to a third party that shows she is not a nice person. If she didn’t like it but wanted to spend time with you, she could have declined dinner or suggested an alternative (drinks, pot luck and then she could just eat what she brings, takeaway, later start etc) in the guise of “not putting you to any trouble”.

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