To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

The food gave her heart burn nothing to do with the quality
She’s tried to clear the air personally I feel there’s nothing to apologise for so I would explain but not apologise

you obviously want to make it a hill to die on Shane to throw years of friendship away over a comment about heartburn
move on

I’m sorry but if I were your Dh I wouldn’t back u and lose a friendship over this

He doesn’t have to - he can go to the pub or the their house.

Sorry, but he is placing his love of football over his love of you. There would be some china flying in my house if that happened. [Ok, only did that once in 34 years… but it was enough to make my point LOL.]

And that's fine, but I wouldn't be hosting either of them. Wouldn't want them to get sick. If your DH wants to hang out with the DH2, they can do that, and I wouldn't mind if he came to ours - but I'd make it clear to DH1 that I wasn't so much as making them a cup of tea or setting out a beer from the fridge. Let DH take care of him.
Ex friend OTOH would never cross my threshold again.
(And I don't fall out with people readily - but there's a betrayal of trust there when she sent a mocking whatsapp message to a mutual friend that I wouldn't forgive or forget.)

RTFT 🙄

@Dinnertext apologies if they’re not around but I’d be going over to my parents/ brothers or best friends instead. And staying over.

What does this mean?

He says his friend will be and he will leave it for me and my friend to decide what we are doing.

Yes I certainly won’t be offering any domestic services when it comes to hosting them.

LOL it means the same as my "Sweet suffering Jesus" that another PP took a bit thick.
Athernatively, may I suggest you RTFT? Or at least the OP's subsequent post or two - that's all you'll need.

Quite right! After all you wouldn't want to inflict any women's drama on them!

She's not a friend. She is a two faced, bitchy snob and isn't even embarassed enough about it to apologise!!

I'd also be fuming about the misogynistic comments from the husbands about female drama tbh.

OP maybe you should go off out for the evening on Saturday. Have some drinks out with a different friend/have a drive to the coast/go to the cinema. Basically anything except host this horrible couple.

You should be able to watch the match without these people in your home.

Can you suggest to DH that he and them go to the pub?

Why can’t he go watch the game at their house ? If he’s insisting on ignoring your feelings, I’d cry off & find somewhere else to go or go to bed with a migraine if no other option

After "usual female drama" comment, I wouldn't want the husband around either!

What else is she saying about you behind your back? She sounds like a bitch. Cut her off!

Well if she has the brass neck to turn up, I wouldn't actually not let her in (contrary to what I just said, where I was thinking more about future invites) - I'd stand back and let the three of them make an evening of it. Depending on how open plan your house is, or not, I'd either get on with my evening at home - watch TV in another room for instance - or just clear out of the house altogether. Have you got a friend or family you could drop in on at short notice?

Typical men football is more important than "female drama"

Would he at least compromise @Dinnertext?

His aim is not to miss the football, ok, could he present it, at least, as just a men's night watching the semi, without her tagging along?

Obviously, that may require you, also, to be elsewhere too 😔

Ultimately, the relationship, with her, going forward, surely, is finished and your husband will have to meet his pal outwith your home.

Appalling behaviour from her to put you in this position 🌸

Kind of means both original poster/original post (I meant to put original but heat addled and put ‘opening’ by mistake 🤦🏽‍♀️)

Only you know your DH OP but tbh it sounds like both he and the other H are being total dicks and I would put your foot down with your DH. If I was you I would feel pretty uncomfortable with the other H in the house at this point, not least because of the “female drama” comments. Tell your H he can go to their house - why does it need to be yours? Failing that, like others have said go out.

(I really don’t get the OTT behaviour about the football that is so widespread…)

Do you live a driveable distance from them? If your DH is buying beers, she will come so she can drive him home. Why can’t they go to their house?

I don't know what a PP is, but I DO know that you clearly have too much time on your hands. 😆

Whereas you can't even spare 30 seconds to discover the OP's updates.

In a thread spanning two days and with 900 responses so far, responding to the OP without reading any further, runs a high risk of you looking idiotic.

Quite right. Her behaviour has been absolutely deplorable. I would never want to see her again.

Has the friends’ husband even confirmed directly he was sick? If not i’d slip him something homemade (easybake) or a smaller portion as the same as last time and see if anything happens or if he refuses the food 🤔 i’d only believe it if the friend husband actually confirmed it directly. i I bet he doesn’t even know the reason for the fall out other than his wife saying you are in the huff over something trivial.

At least I took the time to read the OP's second post before responding like an eejit.
If you're that short of time, maybe go and do whatever it is that needs your attention because you're clearly not great at multi tasking 😆