To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

For the love of God. Cancel the cheque. I give up.

It's not just the incredible rudeness of the message - it's the fact that she's being Hyacinth fucking Bouquet about where you shop for the ingredients.

Still trying to make you feel shit even when she's 'explaining'.

She sounds awful and your DH does to, tbh.

@Dinnertext

Good on you!

I agree, the ‘friends’ explanation made it much worse! So the ingredients you buy are below their standard and made them ill?! Bollocks! And rude!

If her hubby is commenting on ‘usual woman’s drama’ this may say more about the ‘friend’/wife’s behaviour! Hubby can see him independently.

Take some space, and see how you feel later, if you miss her and are willing to let it go, or if you on reflection, realise she was a pain in the arse.

Agreed that the reply to the❓text multiplied the original insult by at least 10.

I'm not entirely sure about @Dinnertext's DH - the "women's stuff" was Ms Nasty's DH, and that's probably because she's like that to lots of people. So OP's DH probably thought he was sort of smoothing things over.

The football starts at 10pm. Just sayin’
i wouldn’t want to host the first part of the evening at all.
I suggest on Friday evening you come down with a terrible episode of D&V. Very contagious. Quarantine needed.

Sorry your husband hasn’t got your back here, OP.

I bet he’d be pissed off it it was his bbq they’d been slagging off 🙄😂

If your friends did find your cooking not to their taste, they should either decline invitations or bring a takeaway. Not bitch about it to other people, making you look like a twat. It’s that bit that would end the friendship for me.

I almost envy your simple life.

This

I would expect my husband to support me if confronted with this situation. The least he could do is say to his friend let's leave any gathering until this is resolved. He doesn't need anyone watching football with him especially the DH of this hurtful & disrespectful woman

Let the boys get together and watch the football and you can say you have a bad tummy and have to go to bed 😀

Or say you will go to Iceland and get some buffet food for a snack tea 😀

"I think this may be a compliment" don't think so @Judecb

Dinnertext · Yesterday 22:53
She has sent a long reply and said that both her and her Husband had extremely upset stomach’s last time but she felt too polite to mention and to decline the invite. She says she thinks some of the ingredients I used were from places they wouldn’t usually shop and so didn’t agree with her. She has suggested they come round but only for drinks and said they are happy to bring some crisps/olives with them.
I just say I do feel offended. I’m sorry to hear she was ill but 1. We were fine and 2. I wish she told me at the time. We might not shop at Waitrose like she does, but we put a lot of effort in and it does feel sad to know that’s how she feels.

Have you children with this disloyal twat?
If so leave him to babysit and make arrangements to be out.
He sounds so awful.

I think I’d just ask her

She did 🙄

All sounds awful and rude. How dare she say that and then suggest a takeaway as their treat! Like they’re special. How patronising and pathetic OP. I feel really angry on your behalf.

Id be very angry with my partner too if he was carrying on and being so dismissive. If he wants to see his friend they need to to it elsewhere and some here neutral. Not at theirs with her there as that feels like total betrayal and like she’ll be slagging you off.

Yes I have just read the rest of it, hadn’t before, 🙄

Will you still have her in your house?! And has she apologised yet?

I would want to speak to the male friend before having him over and have sure he understands it’s not just “female drama” and that his partner is the issue. And he can go elsewhere if he doesn’t get that.

Just the fact she’s gossiping and bitching about you to another friend would mean I’d not see her again. Well done op for sticking to your guns

I’d send a message saying , I don’t think you meant to send this to me , but you did. In the circumstances I think it’s best we cancel
Saturday and the block her

Oh please do read the thread

I love your polite resignation! 😆

The 2 DHs are now behaving just as badly as the (ex) friend.

what a pair of knobs.

This. I don’t think it’s meant to be a dig at you at all. Also if it is food related, it may be any kind of non bland food has an effect on her stomach, which isn’t a reflection on you.

Wow.
Your dh is a real twat.
"Female drama"!?