AIBU to resent tidying an adult son's very messy bedroom?

[Baconrollplease]

I work for a family four mornings a week doing the cleaning, laundry, ironing and general household jobs. It’s worked really well around childcare, and overall they’re lovely to work for.
The house is quite large though, and I often struggle to get everything done in the time I’m there.

Their son has just graduated from university and has gone away on holiday with a friend. His mum has asked me to tidy his bedroom while he’s away so like hoover, dust, put things away etc.
The problem is that his room is an absolute bomb site. There are clothes all over the floor, rubbish everywhere, and it’s generally a huge mess rather than just needing a quick clean. I’ve tidied it before, but within a few days it was back to exactly the same state.

I’m finding myself reluctant to do it because it feels less like cleaning and more like clearing up after an adult who is perfectly capable of doing it himself. It also takes a lot of time that I could be spending on the rest of the house.

AIBU for not really wanting to do it, or is this just part of the job and I should get on with it?

I’d just say you need an extra hour to complete it and to be recompensed accordingly

Surely you just say to whoever is paying you that you can't carry out the cleaning because there is too much stuff everywhere so it either needs tidied before you arrive or, if they want you to tidy before cleaning you need extra time and therefore paid for that on top of your current rate.

Yeah I'd say that you'll need a few hours extra to do that and earn abit extra out of them babying their adult manchild

Just say you can’t get it done in the allotted time and ask (if it suits you) whether they want to pay you for another hour.

Shove it all in bin bags and crack on.

So…… you are just doing your job? Just charge your time and get over yourself.

Yes he should be able to tidy up after himself but he's obviously pampered and spoilt as his Mum just pays someone else to do it!

I'd crack on with it but just work within my actual paid hours and would make sure I informed the Mum how long it took which is why you didn't have time to do x, y or z.

I have 2 AuDHD young adult DCs. They are BOTH required to clear their floors of laundry, empty bins/rubbish esp any on their desks (both are students) and to make sure their loos are flushed. If heavily soiled they have to prep the loo with bleach etc. ALL before the cleaner comes.

Her job is to dust, hoover and clean the bathrooms and floors - NOT to clean and tidy after young adults.

I feel it is disrespectful of both our cleaner and us as parents who pay for it all. They can have all the privacy they want, but they have to keep their rooms clean while they are in our house… or move out.

I think I will do this. Thanks

I'd tell them you can't manage it in the time so either you drop another task or need more hours.
However it's not for you to be judging their family and you should be careful not to let it show. I'd be getting rid of a cleaner who judged me for how dirty my kitchen was or how untidy a room was ( not that they are).

Make the bed...dump all get floor items on the bed..manhandling dirty pants isn't in my job description

*cleaner here.

There seem to be a lot of people who tidy up after adult children. I appreciate you're a professional cleaner, but that was what I expected when I read the title. As you're a professional, why not ask her to write a plan of what you do in X hours, and if she wants that bedroom done, she needs to pay more?
Or if you just don't want to, fair enough, say you're there to clean not tidy, and she'll have to find someone else for that.

I think you need to do what you’re paid to do, without judgement. If you don’t like it; refuse and maybe they’ll get a new house keeper. As long as you’re compensated for your time, crack on and be pleased you’ve got a job is what I’d say!

Yes, I’d missed that you were a general housekeeper doing four mornings a week. Unless you limit your job to certain tasks, this comes under your job description, then. Just tell your employer you won’t be doing something else you usually do this week.

Yeah, this is more what I expected when I took on the job. I guess I wouldn’t mind so much if I knew it wasn’t going to return to its messy state once he returns. Just doesn’t feel right to me.

Yes it sounds really annoying. But the job is for the agreed hours.. and if they want you to continually tidy up after their adult DS then that’s the job.

However, you shouldn’t feel you have to work over your paid hours. I would say to your employer that since the son has come home you are finding that you can’t get through all the tasks in the time, so please can they let you know which are the most important tasks that they want you to prioritise.

p.s if you were purely a cleaner my advice would be to say you’re unable to clean the room unless it is clear first. However it sounds like more of a housekeeper type mixed responsibilities role.

You have to tell her - just message, ‘Hi Sandra, I’m writing to you about Bob’s room. The room is filthy and as such takes too long to clean within the hours I have allocated to your house. You have three options:

1. the room is tidied before I come to clean
2. I leave the room out of my weekly tasks
3. I am compensated for thr additional hour and a half and provided with a Hamzat suit for the duration of the clean.

Let me know what you’d prefer,

Honestly, you should simply text her to say that it is beyond your job description. She probably has no idea how bad it is. The reason I have a cleaner is because it was causing me stress and arguments over the mess, but now my kids are too embarrassed to leave a room in that state for anyone else to see… I am almost at the stage where I would just invite her around to have a cuppa and pretend to put the hoover over as it has removed all the conflict and yelling I used to have to resort to!

I don’t really want the job if it means picking up an adult’s dirty clothes or underwear off their bedroom floor. It feels like a lot more than what I signed up for.

I always asked our cleaner not to to tidy the kids rooms because I saw it as their job

But you have been asked to. So I guess you need to be a professional and either

• say it falls below the standard you are prepared to clean
• explain the impact it is giving on your ability to get other jobs done and ask how they want you to prioritise
• or just tidy it

Surely you’re cleaning for adults all the time as you’re cleaning a house owned by the parents?

If they’re willing to pay you to clean this room then why not just do it, charge for it and crack on?

Surely clothes etc can just be chucked in a laundry basket - wear gloves?

Yes I had a lovely cleaner for years who supported me and never judged me even before I had a diagnosis that explained why trying to tidy and clean made me ill so fast. She was a wonderful lady who could see that I struggled and was glad to help.

When she retired we tried a new one and I was clear she judged me even though I had explained about my disability which made it hard to tidy . I had made it clear I didn't expect the place immaculate as I just needed someone to help make a dent in things.

So now I pay the children to clean the house instead.

I pay for a cleaner because I want a clean house and can't achieve it by myself. So it's bloody weird to then come in and judge me for the state of it!

Thats understandable and it would be reasonable to provide customers with a list of tasks you won't do /standards you expect