To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

I'd go to the airport 6 hours early but i'd be in the airport lounge have food and drink and enjoying myself

Doesn’t seem wise that someone with travel anxiety going to Cape Verde where a huge number of tourists have had severe food and waterborne gastric illness.

What with your vastly different travel
styles, it sounds like an ill conceived break tbh.

I have a friend who likes to arrive for every trip at the very last minute. I prefer not to rush. We travel separately. I’m not sure I’d want to go to CV but if you do, I’d just tell her you’ll see her on the plane.

*tbh not cv

What do you.have empathy for ? Yes of course she is being ott but surely if she is your friend you know her well and like her you could manage this,

I think youre being pretty 'hysterical' yourself. Just tell her to go early she wants and you'll meet her there when you finish work. No need for a massive dramatic strop and talk of cancelling.

Tell her you’re in meetings and phone will be off then mute her until you finish work

You sound very selfish. Hopefully you aren't usually like this and she's just pissed you off and you calm down.

Have a fantastic holiday. Be assertive with her and say her going on like this is making you stressed and you don't feel ike going.

I think Cabo Verde was an interesting choice for someone with travel anxiety but it's done now. I can't imagine cancelling this late but I also can't imagine travelling with the pair of you so maybe you're right and you're just saving both of you a lot of bother. It will be the end of the friendship though so if that suits you... go ahead and cancel. You seem to find her really annoying anyway.

Lots of people are nervous travellers and plenty of people don't have the vast experience you have. Has she done anything like this before? Did you talk about that before today? Is she expecting a super organised week with lots of pre-booked activities that you will never be late for? You must have known she was a bit like this before today.

Good idea

Coming out of the pandemic, Glasgow airport was telling people not to arrive early because of crowding in the terminal. This is a busy time of year, there is limited capacity and if everyone did what your friend did, OP, there would be double the amount of people causing bottlenecks in security, fighting for seats in the departure lounge and queuing for a Starbucks.

I have very little patience for faffers and people who expect me to change my plans to accommodate their own particular anxieties. All the "be kiiiiiind" people - actually, by agreeing that yes, it is perfectly reasonable to arrive at the airport 6 hours early is just reinforcing the friend's anxieties and saying there is something to be worried about. Which there is not. OP's friend is completely unreasonable asking her to skip work.

are you usually this dramatic?

Honestly I wouldn’t go. Cape Verde is one of only two places I’d never go back to.

Would it help if she met at YOUR house, and you travelled together? She could arrive at 12.30 so she’d know you were back and not running late.

You're not being very understanding and frankly, I don't think you're much of a friend!

I'm not keen on getting to the airport really early either however your friend has anxiety about it so let her make her way to the airport at the time she wants.

You don't need to make a massive drama about it. I wonder if she thinks you make a massive drama about things. I mean to say you want to cancel the holiday because your friend wants to go to the airport early is ridiculous.

Don’t overreact. I’m anxious about flying timing myself, dh accepts we have ages to wait at airports. I would simply tell her you will be at x meet up point in the airport at 2pm giving you time to drive home, change and return to the airport and lots of time to spare

have very little patience for faffers and people who expect me to change my plans to accommodate their own particular anxieties. All the "be kiiiiiind" people - actually, by agreeing that yes, it is perfectly reasonable to arrive at the airport 6 hours early is just reinforcing the friend's anxieties and saying there is something to be worried about. Which there is not. OP's friend is completely unreasonable asking her to skip work.

I don't think you have understood the replies nobody has said plans need to changed or 6 hours is acceptable, what are you.talking about ?

You're being a Drama Queen yourself here. Don't go because your friend's a bit nervous and anxious about flying? Pull yourself together, ffs.

You sound like a really shit friend.

YANBU, but MN is full of nervous nellies who fuss and flap and panic about everything, so you'll never get a sensible response on here.

You both sound like drama llamas - cancelling at last minute is just cruel. Cut her some slack she’s anxious/excited and probably can’t help it.
Ignore her behaviour and enjoy your holiday ….don’t ruin your friendship but make a mental note never to holiday with her again.

This, tbh!

She told you she was an anxious traveller. You've done this several.times before, she never has. And she told you and you still booked to go with her.

So everything she is doing was forewarned and predictable.

You're just having a massive strop about it. Wanting to cancel the holiday on the day is far more ridiculous than her being a bit anxious about doing something she's never done before.

Tell her all the messages are giving you anxiett and making you panic and please can she stop
and you will meet her at the gate at 3 😂

I travelled with a friend like you last year, while I'm more like your friend! I like to build in extra time en-route to the airport and also get through airport security, and she doesn't! We compromised with our timings and got something which worked for both of us, but it's quite clearly too late for that with you both. I'd just tell her to go through security and meet you on the other side.

A lot of posters have agree that the friend's faffing and anxiety is totally reasonable and the OP is the one at fault. I mean, the "want to cancel" is a bit over dramatic for sure but I am reading that as a reaction to the ridiculous barrage of messages from the faffing friend.

She's being unreasonable but so are you @whereismyhisband

How horrible to even think about cancelling a holiday on the day leaving her with no one to go with.