To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

I'm a frequent and experienced solo traveller, and I always get to the airport very early. But over the years, on the way to the airport, I've been stuck on the M25 not moving for an hour, and had trains cancelled/a suicide on the line. So I build in plenty of contingency, because I'd rather hang out at the airport pub with a book, then have that kind of stress again.

My occasional travel buddy is the opposite. A minute longer at the airport/station than is necessary is wasted time to him. Yet he gets away with it!
So if we travel together, I get to the airport when I want to. I no longer nag him*, I just wait for him to get there, and we have an agreement that if he misses the flight, I go without him.

*By nag, I mean a couple of texts, not 100!

I can understand getting to the airport (or the station) early, @OneSparklyGoat - because I do get anxious about missing my plane or train, or having to rush through the airport or station. But I wouldn't dream of making everyone else bend around my worries - I do ask if we can get to the station or airport a bit earlier than dh would prefer, but we compromise, and I don’t make a massive fuss.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius We are in agreement.

I wonder how they're getting on!

I live quite close to the airport and like to go early for the lounge!!!!

Or. Wing it... I could walk there in about an hour if it came to it...

@OneSparklyGoat - great minds!

What an awful "friend" you are. You openly admit that you travel and you love it. Your friend told you she was an anxious traveller and you still booked the holiday. She told you the truth so be a decent friend and support her rather than coming on here and bad mouthing her.

@whereismyhisband said her friend said she was an anxious traveller, @RP2211 - not that she would message her almost 100 times on the day of travel, phone her in tears, and have a panic attack! Had she known all of that, she might not have gone ahead with booking the holiday.

Also, the friend did know how anxious she is about travelling, and she still agreed to go on the holiday, let the OP book it, and presumably paid for it too - why are you blaming it all on the OP?

The friend could have said “I get really worried about missing planes, so I will get to the airport well ahead of time, and I’ll see you in the departure lounge” - taking responsibility for her own anxiety, and working round it, rather than making it all the OP’s problem.

No, you're wrong.

The friend lied and said she would be fine. She clearly wasn't and was severely harassing OP to the point she didn't even want to go.

I keep wondering how it’s going too!

I have been at Heathrow way too early once, I enjoyed a LOT of people watching. #Happy days.

But I didn’t text anyone and I didn’t harass anyone.

And Birmingham Airport isn't quite as interesting as Heathrow.

Oh you're just as bad as the friend! 😂 I doubt she messaged 100+ times. Over exaggeration to make herself better about being a crap friend.

See now this is where you’d wind me up. All the “oh ha ha aren’t I silly” when you didn’t even know the time of your flight.

It did not change her plans with respect to arrival time at the airport, though. 🤷‍♀️

But she didn’t even know the time of her flight…

She double downed when a random on the internet told her, with a “oh doesn’t matter anyway”, good job she wasn’t three hours wrong.

So she looked at her boarding time, calculated what time she needed to be there, then agreed to a time with her friend and forgot the time the flight was leaving. But her plans for being at the airport at a specific time never changed.

I just can’t see this holiday being a success. You speak so vilely and nastily about her I just can’t understand how you even became friends and the animosity you obviously have for her will very quickly become obvious to her. I can’t imagine spending time with someone who has been so nasty, bitchy and two faced about a ‘friend’.

No, she clearly stated the wrong flight time!

It really was very funny, that a random on here told her the correct time.

You must see the hilarity in that?

She would’ve been happily in duty free shop g whilst the plane had taken off, because “no rush” we’ve got another hour DF, stop fussing!!

I have learned a lot about how to support others to manage their anxiety due to my role at work, and - for want of a better word - pandering to it is NOT the answer. It's ok to say "everything will go smoothly, I will meet you at the airport at the time I said I would" and then mute her messages until you've finished work. Her anxiety is her responsibility, and if she lives with it then she will have her own strategies to manage it. And that can't include pushing it on to others for them to join in with and/or change their actions to soothe her, which unfortunately is a common maladaptive coping strategy.

The OP hasn’t come back - wonder how her hol is going.

Bet she is in her office laughing at how everyone believed what she was writing.

The nearly 100 messages was the clincher. 🐟 🪝

How rude.