To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

You are being just as dramatic to be fair, some adults do struggle with airports and flying, my husband is a pain in the arse and he would be at an airport 5 hours before if I "let" him.
If she is your friend I am sure you can manage without dramatically cancelling your holiday.

I honestly think you’d be more hysterical to cancel today based on that than your friend is being. You both need to calm down.

I agree just message saying you’ll be setting off to airport at x time as agreed. If she wants to go early and meet you at airport text you but you are busy at work this morning and won’t see your phone until later. Then turn off phone.
Not going on a planned holiday over this seems very dramatic.

Are you sure she's your friend? 😂

Years ago I went on holiday with 2 good friends who ended up at the airport about 8 hours before our flight!
They were convinced I would miss the flight. I didn't

I got there, we fly over together and had a great time.

Go on the holiday

I'm a slightly anxious flyer despite travelling loads. The key is being in charge of your own timings etc. Travelling with someone blasé about getting to the airport, checking in and security, joining the queue, etc would drive me nuts. I learned this a while ago so I just tend to meet fellow travellers on the plane! Then we can each do it in our own way. Much better.

I don't get to the airport 6 hours early though I must say.

I feel sorry for her tbh the way that you’re on about her on here. I’m surprised you even decided to go on holiday with this person in the first place. Your trip sounds like it’s going to be a disaster with the attitude you’re displaying…

You don't even sound like you like her. Also, if you've got lots of work to do, why are you here? YABU.

Well she was until this! I just can’t be doing with it. She’s an adult! And panicking that we’re going to miss the flight that’s still half a day away

I don’t start for another 45 minutes!

And some adults get anxious… just say you’ll meet her there, job done.

Well tell her you will meet her there if that is genuinely what she wants to do tell her to crack on.

My attitude isn’t the problem, it’s her! She said she was an anxious traveller, I thought okay cool, probably just some light anxiety around flying. Nope. Fully having a panic attack at 6am because we won’t be at the airport until 1:45.

It’s just so ridiculous. I feel like I shouldn’t encourage it

This sounds like the overreaction of the century. Why not reply ‘hi friend, I’ll see you at the airport, I’ll be there around 3” and continue your work.

Your friend would be better off going it alone. I'm sure she would if she saw this thread.

How exactly is she having a panic attack? Or is that just inflammatory language you’re using to describe someone who is worried and wants to be at the airport early? Some people are just like that. It sounds like you’re both different, but yabvu to want to cancel over this.

You are not encouraging it as you said she is an adult and this is how she thinks she will cope, just say you will meet her there i bet she will rally and have a think and go.at the planned time.

You don’t sound like you like her at all, maybe you should do her a favour and not go.

Then she can go early and you will see her there. Tell her that and switch off your phone until you are actually in the airport and can have a coffee together.

Are you sure it’s a maximum of 3 hours before? I thought it was usually a minimum of 3 hours before…

Your timings look fine in principal, but I can see why she’s worried - she doesn’t travel as much as you, so obviously would just feel better getting to the airport early so no issues with delays etc.

Will you finish on time at 12? You say you’re 15 mins from home, any chance of delays to you getting home? Are your bags ready so it’s literally finish work, jump in the car, be home by 12:30pm, load your bags into the car and leave immediately? Or do you still need to pack etc when you get home?

You clearly don’t have financial issues or you wouldn’t be considering losing that sort of money because you can’t be arsed to go anymore - maybe your friend can’t afford to risk missing the flight for any reason at all.

You are clearly two different people in your approaches - she would rather be there too early because then she can relax. You sound like the sort that they’ll be calling your name to get your arse on the plane. That attitude is likely to stress your friend even further.

Try to reassure her - if you have to travel together, maybe agree to leave a little earlier if you can but explain you can’t change your work plans at this short notice (she should have said something when you guys were planning). If you’re travelling separately, tell her you’ll meet her at the airport and you won’t be offended by her getting there early.

I’ve had nearly 100 messages off her this morning. Fretting about bag drop closing, about us getting stuck in queues, it’s like she’s never been to the airport before

That will really help with her anxiety! Stop being a shit friend and just reassure her.

It's not encouraging it to let her do what she wants. It's not being responsible for her anxiety which is fine. If she wants to let her anxiety make her do things that are a bit nuts that's up to her. If you cancel or try to respond to the anxiety by digging in you're letting it control you AND her.

100 messages 😆 🤣