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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made remarks about my friend’s dress

372 replies

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 16:43

Hi all. So, one of my friends is going to a wedding and she’s bought a dress which is…peculiar to say the least. So our group chat (roughly around 8 of us) we - obviously as to not hurt her feelings - we said we liked it as it had already been purchased.

However on our other group chat that she’s not on, we all gave our true thoughts that the dress is hideous and, at the very least, is not suitable for a wedding. Somehow my friend found out about this other group chat and the things we had been saying. Whilst obviously it wasn’t the intention to hurt her, she’s now saying we betrayed her and it has now caused a rift in the friend group. I love to death but she can be a real pain sometimes. AIBU?

OP posts:
TFImBackIn · 06/07/2026 20:27

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 17:08

she used to be on here but left last year saying it was a “nest of vipers” and we certainly heard about it in the group chat

Show quote history

But surely you know everyone comes back!

palepeony · 06/07/2026 20:28

OP
perhaps you should change your user name to bulliesthatlunch
Much more suitable
Your poor ‘friend’
She must be so hurt and humiliated

Huckleberries · 06/07/2026 20:31

The dress is absolutely fine

I can see how that would be a good look, regardless of age - in fact bringing up age the way you have makes me think no too kindly of you to be honest.

I wouldn't wear it, but that isn't the point - it is a look that would totally work for a wedding and even if it wouldn't, you all bitching about it doesn't help

is this the sort of group that has rules about what designer jeans are acceptable to wear and so on?

i'm sure she has other friends

justasking111 · 06/07/2026 20:34

Well if she's a great figure, why not wear this pretty dress. Late forties isn't ancient is it.

EnidVance · 06/07/2026 20:34

What, in your opinion should she be wearing?

ElsieTannersCoat · 06/07/2026 20:36

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 16:57

Just to let people know the travesty that is this dress because I think I’m getting a hard time here. Reminder - this is for a WEDDING and we are all in our late forties

The dress is indeed completely inappropriate. But you surely must see why she’s upset that you were all talking behind her back?

TheChicDreamer · 06/07/2026 20:39

Wow, what a bunch of beyaches. One silver lining though: at least she knows the measure of you all. I hope she finds some better friends.

Onthemaintrunkline · 06/07/2026 20:41

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. What a nasty two-faced bunch you sound.

Shoopshawady · 06/07/2026 20:43

I hope she also doesn’t have mumsnet. It isn’t a nice dress but you should have said it would wedding suitable. Too late now as she will know you’re two faced!

BirdOnTheWireAndTiredu · 06/07/2026 20:45

Hatty65 · 06/07/2026 16:51

Bitchy, fake friends are not the type she needs. I'm not surprised it's caused a rift.

If you 'love her to death' you could have either had the courtesy to speak to her honestly about her dress, or to at least refrain from being nasty about it behind her back.

It's all a little bit Year 8.

Exactly this! I was told by a year 8 girl last week I looked ‘like a troll’ because my hair was sticking up after putting it up because it was 35 degrees. It’s not ok that some kids think they can be so disrespectful

Notasbigasithink · 06/07/2026 20:46

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 16:43

Hi all. So, one of my friends is going to a wedding and she’s bought a dress which is…peculiar to say the least. So our group chat (roughly around 8 of us) we - obviously as to not hurt her feelings - we said we liked it as it had already been purchased.

However on our other group chat that she’s not on, we all gave our true thoughts that the dress is hideous and, at the very least, is not suitable for a wedding. Somehow my friend found out about this other group chat and the things we had been saying. Whilst obviously it wasn’t the intention to hurt her, she’s now saying we betrayed her and it has now caused a rift in the friend group. I love to death but she can be a real pain sometimes. AIBU?

Wow! You nasty bunch of bitches!!!
Don't try and justify your behaviour under the disguise of we didn't want to hurt her feelings as she'd already bought it tripe!
You all got caught out and that what you're sorry for, not hurting her feelings. Don't stir the shit if you're not prepared to lick the spoon....

ImPamDoove · 06/07/2026 20:50

This

To have made remarks about my friend’s dress
Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 06/07/2026 20:51

I don’t believe this is real either.

Niallig32839 · 06/07/2026 21:02

Well of course it’s horrible to hear that people who you thought were your friends have a seperate group chat and all talking about how hideous your dress is and slagging you off. She must feel awful and wonder what else you all say about her. Also would no doubt all say she looks great in pics on the day of the wedding to her face or on social media and then bitch about her in the other chat.

it might not be a nice dress or appropriate but that’s not the point

Dymaxion · 06/07/2026 21:03

Even the pretty young model isn't pulling off that look ! I cannot believe that one of you, if you are all in your 40's, hasn't been blessed with the ability to speak plainly, there is always one who calls a spade a shovel. If anyone I counted as a friend suggested that dress, I couldn't not tell them it is hideous, even if I expected a backlash, because it is genuinely that dreadful😱

Cloudtime · 06/07/2026 21:05

The dress is more appropriate for someone in their late 40s than your behaviour is . You sound like an idiotic 12 year old .
I hope you realise your ‘friends ‘ will more than likely bitch about you behind your back too?

TeaCupTinsel · 06/07/2026 21:05

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 16:57

Just to let people know the travesty that is this dress because I think I’m getting a hard time here. Reminder - this is for a WEDDING and we are all in our late forties

I don't think that dress is a travesty at all. I think it could look lovely with some accent heels.
I don't understand what you think is so awful about it?

I think you've been very unkind about a 'friend' and it's come back to bite you. If you care about her as much as you say you do, I'd be grovelling because I can imagine she feels utterly betrayed and like the people she trusted most have really hurt her.

Worrieddancemum · 06/07/2026 21:10

Am I the only one who likes the dress? 🤣 and I’m late 40’s 🤣

Suitplace · 06/07/2026 21:12

I think the dress is fine for a wedding, quite nice in fact, and probably, the friend doesn't have legs that go on forever like the model.

It's certainly not so awful as to be the topic of a nasty group chat.

andthat · 06/07/2026 21:38

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 16:57

Just to let people know the travesty that is this dress because I think I’m getting a hard time here. Reminder - this is for a WEDDING and we are all in our late forties

You’re missing the point @ladieswholunch23

It doesn’t matter if it was a hessian sack… setting up a second WhatsApp to explicitly slag her off is reprehensible… and I call bullshit that you need to write a thread on a forum to ask if you are being unreasonable or not.

For the avoidance of doubt. You are a shitty friend.

Horses7 · 06/07/2026 21:46

Sadly you’re not good friends of this lady - you gossiped and probably laughed about her/her choices.
Try harder!

hypnovic · 06/07/2026 21:53

Have the balls to tell the truth or keep your opinions to yourself perhaps. How would you feel?

OneNewEagle · 06/07/2026 21:58

You should have just told her you didn’t like it.

Whybotherx · 06/07/2026 22:00

You slag her off then have the nerve to call her a pain? Would you like a bigger knife to stab in her back?