To have made remarks about my friend’s dress

[ladieswholunch23]

Hi all. So, one of my friends is going to a wedding and she’s bought a dress which is…peculiar to say the least. So our group chat (roughly around 8 of us) we - obviously as to not hurt her feelings - we said we liked it as it had already been purchased.

However on our other group chat that she’s not on, we all gave our true thoughts that the dress is hideous and, at the very least, is not suitable for a wedding. Somehow my friend found out about this other group chat and the things we had been saying. Whilst obviously it wasn’t the intention to hurt her, she’s now saying we betrayed her and it has now caused a rift in the friend group. I love to death but she can be a real pain sometimes. AIBU?

Nasty,nasty, nasty...you should all be ashamed of yourselves behaving like this.

If you didn't feel able to tell her your thoughts about the dress then you should have kept your mouths shut on your secret bitch-fest group

I hope your poor friend has some real, genuine, nice people she can lean on and cuts you all out of her life.

With friends like you she doesn’t need enemies.

Not nice but whets worse is trying to justify it by saying she’s a pain sometimes. That’s minimising what you all did.
What you need to ask is how would you like this done to you ?

This. The dress isn’t the point really, the point is why does your group of ‘friends’ have a second group chat that excludes one ‘friend’. Sounds like she’d be well shot of the lot of you.

I mean sounds like you were being a bunch of nasty bitches? Not sure what you are confused about.

Never put anything in writing that you wouldn’t want someone to see!

Horrible way to treat a friend. You all sound like a group of Mean Girls, not grown Women.

Put yourself in this other woman's shoes. How would you feel? How would you like to be treated in this scenario if it was you asking for clothing advice from friends? Would you be upset? It's not difficult to take a moment and make a better, kinder choice in future.

They’ve probably got several group chats each excluding one of them…. Not nice group!

So, rather than addressing any of the remarks made by people on here, you’ve posted a picture of the dress. Do you want us all to comment on it and hate it too?

Nasty nasty nasty. Why do you have a separate group chat without her in it anyway? That tells me you and the rest of your bitchy mates have done this sort of thing before. If you “loved her to death” you wouldn’t be slagging her off behind her back and gossiping about her.
Not really sure what your AIBU is. You bricked about your mate and betrayed her, she said you betrayed her. She’s right.

You're two faced and were being bitchy, now she knows and presumably doesn't like you anymore. Of course YABU. Who needs enemies with friends like you?

If she’s your friend why do you have a separate group chat to talk about her? Fucking tacky. But you had a good laugh. Wait until it’s your turn and you find out there’s a group chat laughing about you. With your type of friends it’s bound to happen tick tok tick tok

A group chat of your friend group minus her?

And she 'somehow' found out?

Who showed her the chat?

You should have told her the truth when she asked. If she had a tantrum about it, at least you would have been honest.

Od course YABU.
You are not a true friend.
My friends are a lot more honest but do it without hurting feelings.

You’re no friend of hers no matter what it looked like. I feel sorry for her!

How did she find out?

Oh and evil people really seem to panic when they’re caught out. Their entire persona is about how ‘they’re such a nice person and everybody loves me’ 🤮You got caught - if you have any integrity you’ll fess up, be honest and try to make amends. Maybe try not to be such a bitch next time and you won’t be feeling that sickening feeling right now of being an absolute scumbag.

I bet the friend has great legs and curves and will rock that dress.

Floral sacks are not the only way.

Why do you have a separate group that she isn't in? You all sound like a bunch of mean girl bitches. The dress isn't even that bad ffs

Your not even sorry are you, you’ve acted like a complete dick and you think your friend is the problem.

Blimey. That's nasty. Pretend to like it then slate her behind her back? Not one of you had the decency to tell her the truth, or at least avoid lying to her? And not one of you had the decency to call out the nastiness? Just joined in like a load of sheep? I wonder what they say about you when you're out of earshot.

I don’t understand people who act like this. You don’t have to be direct if it makes you uncomfortable but you don’t tell her it’s lovely.

You and your “friends” are a bunch of backstabbing cows. The poor woman.

Your friend needs better friends.