AIBU to ask a friend’s guest not to join private breakfast?

[Ano1n]

Regular meet up on a weekend morning for coffee with a group of female friends - not a formal arrangement and anywhere between 5 - 10 of us.
End of last year one friend brought a former colleague with her - who is an utter boor who inserts, interrupts & talks over any conversation & added her to the group WhatsApp. This has changed the dynamics of the group & people privately message more rather than use the group message.
Yesterday morning I met another friend for breakfast & planned to join them for coffee after. Said person was early & went to plonk herself down when I stopped her by saying it was a private conversation & I would join them later. Cue a load of blustering, marching off & slamming down. Really couldn’t be arsed with it so we settled bill and left.
Last night the intro friend puts a message on the group how we are about women supporting women & bullying won’t be tolerated!!!
Have responded back a few times (not actually sent) as the theme is fluff off but am I in the wrong here? Is asking her to leave bullying or is she rude for plonking herself uninvited?

I really don’t get this thread. Aren’t us women told all the time that we need to be less people pleaser and better and putting boundaries in place? That’s what the OP did and the other woman is mental for making such a big deal out of it!
If it had been me and she had said it was a private convo I’d have apologised and left. It really is that simple.

You can have excellent boundaries without needing to be abrupt.
Perfectly easy to say ‘I’m just catching up with Fiona, if you grab a table, I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

Why would anyone assume they sat at the same table every week? I meet the same group every other Friday and we reshuffle the tables depending on who turns up and what is available.

Because as @Notonthestairs says, having good boundaries doesn’t mean you’re rude or abrupt without reason.

Haha okay. 3 hours later the group all dared to approach one another and finally sat down with a coffee. Meanwhile the cafe had to turn away every other customer as the group were occupying 10 separate tables waiting for an appropriate time to approach one another 😂😂😂

Yes, the annoying woman couldn’t have known, but OP is within her rights to explain the situation and for annoying woman to move away. She sounds ghastly, so I wouldn’t give a hoot if she was annoyed with me.

Ok so OP did describe her tone as abrupt, and she could have turned the woman away in a more polite way, sure.
But that doesn’t mean she deserves to be slagged off behind her back with an embellished story that didn’t even happen and then referred to as a bully. I really don’t think OP is in the wrong here. If it had been me, I probably wouldn’t have approached them in the first place and would just have smiled, waved - grabbed my coffee and sat in the usual place. Afterwards I’d have said something like “sorry I didn’t come over to say hi, didn’t want to interrupt”
and all would have been well.
If I had sat down, and gotten an abrupt “this is a private conversation” I may have thought it was a bit off of the OP, but probably wouldn’t have thought maybe she’s in the middle of an important conversation and perhaps she’ll apologise later because none of us are perfect. I don’t blame the OP for not wanting to apologise now and I would be dipping out of that group while the other woman is still part of it. She sounds pretty toxic.

You arranged to meet a friend for breakfast immediately before both of you were meeting a load of other friends for coffee, one of the load of friends arrived early and assumed they would be welcome to join you. They weren't and you told them to jog on, they are not happy, did it really matter? Sounds like a public place where you all hang out a bit unnecessary to be rude.

Yeah, let's take it upon yourself to speak for everyone else and message behind her back to say "the majority" basically say "you can't sit with us".
That won't come across as non bullying at all 🙄😁
It's like a sketch out of Mean Girls.
Regina (soz, I mean OP) shouldn't do this and Gretchen (sorry, I mean yourself or like minded person) shouldn't do the message either.
I swear it's like some have never left the school playground.

It's not remotely clear from body language whether a comversation is private. Don't be silly now.

And if someone I was due to meet in a group where it was usual for new friends to be brought in was sitting with someone I didn't recognise, I would assume the new person was also here for the group.

There is no circumstance where I would arrive slightly early at a venue, see someone in the group I was intending to meet and think I shouldn't approach her.

And in any case, regardless of that, the OP should have had the awareness to be prepared for someone from the second group arriving early. Her idiotic decision to arrange social meetups back-to-back while expecting no crossover at all is the root cause of this.

Makes sense why you told the other that you were having a private conversation.

Perfectly reasonable.

Have people come to a consensus that they don’t like the new addition that is bring forced on them ? If so I’d tell the person who invited her into the group and ask she not bring the other along and to remove her from the group.

Of that’s too much just form a separate group with the ones that don’t like her and focus on that. Life is too short to spend time with people you don’t like outside of work hours.