To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

tbh, i don't think that's a bad idea, and is highly achievable.

More relaxed performances would be a great thing, people could take small children to get them used to the environment, etc etc. Older people who may need to be up and down to the loo may also benefit.

Some PP are determined to paint everyone else as an ablist person, but it is not ableist to say that on some occasions some people might not be in the right place for them - because despite wanting to be more inclusive, sometimes people just want a performance without interruptions. Like people who pay good money for a babysitter so they can go for dinner at a michelin starred restaurant don't want some Yahoos bringing their baby because their sitter didn't turn up.

If I want to take my child to a relaxed performance of a child friendly West End musical I can do so max twice a year.

I don't see the problem with this. Many people at a West End performance will be there for the one special occasion in a whole year or an even greater interval. They deserve to get what they paid for.

Adults with disabilities are not children. Theatres will have age limits on patrons, many shows don’t allow small children.

Luck of the draw I’m afraid. Sometimes you go to a show and the audience around you is perfect. Next time you go, you find an audience with people who do things that annoy you. I’m often sat behind the world’s tallest family which is a problem when you are 5ft. I paid a fortune to go to a show, the wheelchair spaces were in a box which had a limited view and the people in the next box to us were constantly moving about. I’ve sat next to people who laugh raucously, who smell really bad, or cough and sniff their way through the show, we don’t suggest those people don’t go to a show. But somehow people feel entirely comfortable saying disabled people can’t go places if the way they enjoy a show might bother some other people. It’s worth noting that “relaxed performances” don’t suit many people for a variety of reasons. It’s also worth noting there are very few of them, they are often at really inconvenient times and if a show is very popular they are booked out by people who don’t need to attend a relaxed performance.

If you sit there focussing on what a bad time you are having you will have a bad time. Despite how other patrons might be acting in a way that could be annoying, mostly it’s entirely possible to work around it. If you want to have a much better experience where you don’t have to deal with other people, pay the extra for better positions in the theatre.

Not really.

Some places would have much more disruption from certain behaviours than other places

Zoo, theme park, swimming pool, shops, soft play, park...noisy, shouting behaviour? crack on, doesn't spoil the experience for anyone else (and if someone does complain in those instances, then they are being a dick)

Once in a blue moon theatre show, opera, ballet performance, orchestra, etc, where silence from audience is key to enjoyment of the show...much more disruptive for everyone else if someone is shouting or screaming through the performance.

I'm amazed you can't actually see the difference and understand why op may be disappointed that the experience was ruined for her and others in the audience

So tall people shouldn’t ever go to the theatre?

Just where are these relaxed theatre performances all ye martyrs keep saying me and my child should go to and how often are they on? Before you make such condescending comments maybe you should get your facts right as relaxed theatre performances are on once a year if at all. If Anyone tried to tell me my child should only go to out once a year or less to see a relaxed performance i would clearly tell you where to go

OP should complain to the theatre. As should anyone else who has a similar experience. Not to get disabled people banned from theatres but to emphasise that there is more need for 'relaxed' productions.

Disabled people aren't allowed to go to the opera?

What do you suggest then? Autism friendly or relaxed performances are available for anyone who cannot be quiet or remain seated. This seems a good compromise?
I’ve also taken my dc to the theatre at Christmas for a show ( £200 for us all) and had a similar situation. Sitting next to us was a lady with disabilities who shouted and constantly clapped. We could not hear the actors at all. The lady was even louder during songs. . I am all for inclusion but it was hard to explain to the dc that nothing could be done about our long awaited night being spoilt.

My daughters tics often manifest as swearing.

The majority of people do think her being there spoils it for them.

Just goes to show the difference between thinking about stuff and actual lived experiences.

Pretty obvious. You're berating other posters on the thread who are saying it's not possible for everything to be inclusive despite you yourself agreeing it's not financially possible.

Yes this.

Glad some people can afford it twice a year, lucky they have so much many to pay for it. I wouldn’t, factoring in the transport.

So as the OP said, on the rare occasion she has made a huge effort to go, she expects people to not ruin the performance.

Inclusivity means everyone can be themselves in spaces - not that we hide disabled people who experience and respond to things differently to the way ‘normal’ people do. Thats called segregation.

It would only be segregation if the person had been refused entry .... they were not.

It would have been better for the actors and the bulk of the audience if they had, but they weren't... so there was no segregation.

To the mum with boys with autism/ASD who feels they should be able to go anywhere and do anything they wish I would say that you have a duty to them for their sake to help them to understand that they have responsibilities to others, not just rights.

If they could not go to an ordinary theatre performance without spoiling it for everyone else then you need to discuss this with them and help them to understand why they might need to reconsider the situation and give thought to others. This will help them integrate and lead a happier life.
If they are told that whatever they do is fine regardless of the effect on others then you are selling them short. They have to live in the world which is full of other people whose well-being matters too. They have to be taught consideration for others ... it is part of your parenting duty. Not to do so will not increase their happiness it will lead to rejection.

I speak as a disabled person who cannot do everything I want.

It’s for the venue/theatre/organisation to be accessible, not the OP, or other audience members. I don’t have the solutions but this is on the theatre entirely to make sure the experience is enjoyable for everyone.

‘Our lives’ ?

So what do you suggest the options are for people whose disabilities mean they can’t tolerate disruption?

There may well not be enough relaxed performances. There are NO special “non disruption” performances.

She can expect that as much as she wants. Any number of people can “ruin” a show for those around them in any number of ways. Who would she target then?

Are they not?
I’ve seen elderly ladies in wheelchairs at the opera before. They were no bother as far as I’m aware.

Someone buying a ticket and attending a performance is the same as a theatre employing a full time member of staff?

So, only the “quiet” ones then? If a person with Tourette’s really loves opera, that’s just tough luck then, they can’t go?

My husband and I are both tall.

We would not repeatedly visit a theatre with seats that weren't properly raked and staggered to allow the audience a decent view.

@Locutus2000 "that doesn't get you a pass". What are you blabbering on about? Disability isn't a choice and no disabled person needs you or anyone to award them "a pass" to go wherever they want, whenever they want. You have such an offensive way of words describing the disabled when all disabled persons have the right to access and go wherever they want.

I’d assume like in any aspect of life, there are different “levels” of disturbance depending on the environment and context.

93% of voters agree with the OP.

I guarantee I’m behind you and still can’t see. The vast majority of theatre seating isn’t raked enough for me to see past you.

I'm out. There are a couple of posters just being deliberately obtuse.