To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

I’ve asked about that before. The answer I’ve got is that standard performances should be quiet and to talk to staff if people are being disruptive

It’s not ableist to want to enjoy a performance.

I would pay extra for those! And I wouldn’t find them othering at all! I welcome them!

You appear to be trying to tell me that I don't know how steep the raking is in the venues I go to. You don't lose rows of seats to rake, rake goes upwards not backwards.

Same, but theatres don’t seem to think it’s necessary

But how do you stop me being disrupted? Honestly if you have an answer please tell me! I would welcome it!

DH has dementia. We can still get to some theatre shows, but these days only the relaxed performances, which is fine. Just have to be careful when booking. This is quite restrictive but I agree that our needs do not Trump everyone else's in the Theatre.

Well, to be fair, I can't afford the ticket in the first place. So you're all looking pretty privileged to me!

Really? You think armed, fighting rapists are deemed acceptable because they're not disabled? Erm...I don't even know where to begin with this wild attempt at an argument. It's not worth addressing. But clearly, you don't understand having simple consideration for others in situations where your behaviour, or your loved one's behaviour, might be severely disruptive to a large number of other people.

Email the theatre and explain your needs and they will explain what they can do and you can see if their solutions are suitable for you. I've done numerous times for my kids before.

I agree BUT what do you think {mention:shouldwejust}should@shouldwejustshould
Do?

And all the other customers? Just accept that their enjoyment has been largely ruined?... And that's it?

I don't agree it's merely inconvenient. The last time I went to west end to see something with accommodation it cost us over £1k...

Should I just write this off to 'being inconvenienced'?

It doesn't sound as if op is being intolerant... Someone shouting out over dialogue and music is pretty difficult to ignore.

The carers should really have intervened.

Who has said those types are acceptable? Not sure what your point is here. Anyone with a gun or knife or anyone drunk and abusive at the theatre would be told to leave and the police called.

Exactly. Relaxed performances exist exactly for the purpose of inclusivity and anyone going knows to expect a level of noise/wandering around that wouldn’t be tolerated at other times. I would never attend one for these reasons. In an ordinary performance, there are expected rules of behaviour, which involve not disturbing others.

But they can’t guarantee no disruption. The most they would say I guess is they’ll refund the ticket if I leave. That doesn’t help me though does it? I’ll still be out of pocket and upset I needed to leave. So I’m still excluded from that show. I already have things I do on public places/transport like noise cancelling headphones with white noise playing. But that doesn’t help me in theatre as I then can’t hear the show!

And what if they reply with “I’m sorry we can’t help you at all with your needs?” Then what? That’s not being excluded right?

Relaxed performances have many things altered to make the show more inclusive. It’s not that it is a performance for anyone who can’t sit through a show.

This like pyrotechnics are removed, house lights left up, BSL interpreters may be on stage, volume of mics lowered, seat bookings may leave spaces between groups. It is so much more than just “autism friendly” or a place to “expect disruption”. The whole aim is that they are inclusive and the things that may cause disruption are removed or softened. The people who advise on these things are really spectacular.

Rant over.

In your situation, I would complain to the theatre and ask for another ticket. Chances are the disruption will have made the end of night notes and the company have probably already decided what to do if someone complains.

Noted. If you have to save up to attend then you shouldn't be there. I think 40pc of theatres are at risk of closure for financial reasons. So then they just close and no one can go.

You really cannot see the difference between being loud in a supermarket and being loud at a theatre? Oh come on pull the other one!

I disagree. I’m physically disabled and have had to accept that some of the places I’d love to visit just aren’t suitable for me. That makes me sad, but that’s just how it is.

I’m very appreciative of places that can make adaptations to help me and other disabled people. But I would never expect anything where I would be unsafe, make things unsafe for other people or ruin their experience because, well..it’s all about me. Nor would I make demands, citing inclusivity as justification.

I don’t feel remotely segregated. Using that sort of language is not helpful.

OP, I do hope you’ll apply for a refund and use the money to treat yourself to something lovely, or maybe a different experience.

its simply unacceptable to disrupt other people’s enjoyment of a show, no matter what the reason for you being disruptive.

> That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?
That is the sensible solution

This whole thread is typical MN. All for inclusion. Until it affects me.

I am disabled - I accept there are things I won't be able to do, because it would not be possible, or appropriate.

I can't have the beach tarmacked over so I can get to the waters edge. As I also don't fit in a beach chair and use a heavy powerchair too heavy for some of the temporary walkways, thats just something I can't do.

I do not think we should BAN anyone from doing things based on a disability, that is the wrong way to go.

But I do think we should consider if its appropriate and reasonable to go somewhere/do something and if its not, don't do it!

If I could not sit still/stay quiet, I would not go to the theatre. Theatre RELIES heavily on the audience behaving in a very specific way.

I also cannot imagine that someone who can't sit still and be quiet actually enjoys going to a theatre show that requires that - they'd be better served by a totally different sort of performance, where audience participation and noise is expected and encouraged.

If such shows do not exist - create a demand for them. If enough people want them, they will happen - if not then its down to those around that person or the person themselves if they're able, to find an appropriate activity, rather than try to change an existing one into something that suits them and very few others!

People are people regardless of whether they are disabled or not. And ALL people have responsibilities to others. Being disabled (as I am) does not remove my responsibility to be considerate of others.

If my disability interferes with the happiness of others then I do all I can to alleviate that. My DDs ask me to go on holiday with them ... I say no, because I know that accommodating my needs would detract from them being able to relax and enjoy themselves. I make that choice because I accept my responsibility to others.

Parents of children should teach them consideration, as well as quite rightly encouraging them to stand up for themselves and ask that ways be found to accommodate their needs.

That's between you and the accessibility team at the theatre. Ime the staff are great, even if the customers are not.

I'm not sure why you expect me to come up with answers for your very specific needs at your specific local theatre.

Using an emotive phrase such as ‘demand disabled folk should be removed’ is unhelpful to say the least, and really quite pejorative. To compare, should a disruptive pupil be kept in a classroom with other pupils when his or her behaviour interferes with their concentration? Why should the rights of one individual in the minority be more important than those of a majority?

What happens with something like Wimbledon? The umpire tells people off for talking so how would that work if someone with Tourettes had tickets?