Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New DP overreacting?!!

165 replies

Nettlesal · 03/07/2026 20:26

I grew up with two brothers and have had a few ex’s, all were not shy at all about breaking wind around me. New DP - together about 2 months. I decided I wasn’t going to keep holding it in for ever so let one go in bed last night. He shot up, said how disgusted he was and that women don’t do that and if I did it again he’d dump me?! Is it me or are men absolute hypocrites when it comes to this 😂

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 04/07/2026 12:38

Namechanged47 · 04/07/2026 11:20

Nope.
Human bodies are fine, we're a "happy to be naked" house. We're also a "it's wildly inconsiderate to subject other people to your unpleasantness" house.
Same way as we pee in the bathroom and not the kitchen sink. No-one ever died from that either, it's still gross and I don't want it in my life.

Because cracking off a quick fart that's making you feel uncomfortable - a NATURAL function - is EXACTLY the same as pissing in the kitchen sink. 🙄

I think it's weird, and attention seeking - and a bit gross, to walk around the house naked, so I guess we're all different eh? Wink

@Threewordname

No-one would die if you came out of the loo straight after pooing and wiped your arse in public so you didn’t miss what was happening on the tv. Would you do that? If not, "chill the fuck out"!

Also a LUDICROUS comparison! 🙄

Basically, no WAY should any women be staying with a man who shames her, and threatens to dump her for farting. Or for doing anything normal and acceptable!

I had a bloke once (who I was dating) who said he would leave and I'd never see him again if I put the Abba album that I had just bought. We were in my parents dining room (I was 17-18,) and he stood up and said 'get that fucking shit off, or I'm off and you'll not see me again!' His face was contorted with rage, and he was going purple. Fucking weirdo. I had been seeing him for a month, and he'd shown several controlling ways already, like he doesn't like me wearing make up, and I need to wear flat shoes not heels, and he'd told me I looked fat in this particular figure hugging dress. (I was 8 stone 7 and didn't look fat in ANYthing.)🙄

tl;dr. I half laughed and saw red, and said 'well fuck off then and don't come back!' and I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of our dining room, and pushed him out of the front door. I said 'who the fuck do you think you are that you can tell me what music to play in my OWN HOUSE!' He just said 'good luck finding anyone else to put up with your shit! and stormed off.

He phoned up 2 weeks later (dad answered) and asked to speak to me. He said to my dad that he wants me to come to the phone as he is 'willing to give me another chance.' 😂 Whilst standing 5 feet away from the phone I said LOUDLY 'tell him fuck off.' Dad said 'did you catch that?' and hung up. Never heard from the cunt again.

Twasasurprise · 04/07/2026 12:40

notanothernamesurely · 04/07/2026 09:39

Does he fart around you? He is only a hypocrite if he does. If he doesnt fart around you and has asked you not to fart around him that seems fairly reasonable- presumably you have a bathroom you can go to as you would if you were at work/in a public place?

This is my view too.

notatinydancer · 04/07/2026 12:41

OriginalSkang · 03/07/2026 20:27

Be careful about posting responses to this everyone

Why ?

notatinydancer · 04/07/2026 12:43

DotterOfBendigeidfran · 04/07/2026 12:32

We fart all the time and fall about laughing. We give stars (1 - 5) for loudness, prolonged sound, the startle factor, stench, ability to cling to soft furnishings etc.

Unclench those pearls and have a laugh.

That is hilarious 😆

Thechaseison71 · 04/07/2026 12:43

LlynTegid · 04/07/2026 10:04

I think that breaking wind is something to do on the toilet, nowhere else. OP has a different view.

Just incompatible.

What would you do if you are out walking around somewhere and there are no toilets. Not always possible to hold a fart in for an hour till you find a bathroom

Notellinganyone · 04/07/2026 12:51

People are so mimsy on MN. Married 23 years - we both fart in front of each other and it’s just not an issue. Also his comment is misogynistic- as though farting is a male only preserve.

TheThirteenthFairy · 04/07/2026 12:52

Kokonimater · 04/07/2026 10:23

What an odd sense of humour.

It's as though farting is a form of entertainment for some.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 04/07/2026 13:02

Nettlesal · 04/07/2026 08:28

Well you seem to have scared everyone off 😂

20 years in and we still don't do it in front of each other on purpose.

Yeah, sometimes one slips out but if you know you've got one brewing it's really not hard to leave the room for a second.

Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 04/07/2026 13:06

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 04/07/2026 13:02

20 years in and we still don't do it in front of each other on purpose.

Yeah, sometimes one slips out but if you know you've got one brewing it's really not hard to leave the room for a second.

How sad that you can’t just be comfortable in your own home.

DearDenimEagle · 04/07/2026 13:06

thingsarefine · 04/07/2026 09:51

I’m genuinely intrigued. Do you sit at home and every time you feel the need to fart, get up and leave the room? Surely that’s disruptive and just drawing more attention to it?

It’s not about being secretive. It’s an excuse me because it’s about going to the bathroom and not inflicting the smell on others if it can be avoided. Staying …woukd you not get up and leave if you need to pee? Or is that disruptive and drawing attention to it?
What a weird interpretation of some behaviour that is considerate of others

thingsarefine · 04/07/2026 13:08

DearDenimEagle · 04/07/2026 13:06

It’s not about being secretive. It’s an excuse me because it’s about going to the bathroom and not inflicting the smell on others if it can be avoided. Staying …woukd you not get up and leave if you need to pee? Or is that disruptive and drawing attention to it?
What a weird interpretation of some behaviour that is considerate of others

I don’t tend to pee as much as I trump!

Wannabegreenfingers · 04/07/2026 13:13

thingsarefine · 04/07/2026 09:37

I genuinely don’t understand the absolute pearl clutching about farting.

Would I do it at work? No. But I’m not going to sit at home uncomfortable with wind.

This with bells on.

G5000 · 04/07/2026 13:14

Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 04/07/2026 13:06

How sad that you can’t just be comfortable in your own home.

we both are comfortable with not farting in front of each other.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 04/07/2026 13:19

Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 04/07/2026 13:06

How sad that you can’t just be comfortable in your own home.

We're perfectly comfortable in our home thanks. We don't shit with the bathroom door open or pick our noses in front of each other either, does that make us uncomfortable as well?

Generally I want DP to find me attractive and want to sleep with me, and equally I want to find her attractive too. Not subjecting each other to the smell of shit if we can help it generally aids with that.

FeliciaFancybottom · 04/07/2026 13:20

NegativeFreak · 04/07/2026 11:01

He's not the one for you.

I "dutch ovened" my husband very early on in the relationship and it brought us closer together😂

We've enjoyed a loud farty 21 years since.

Who the hell wants to have to watch when and how they trump for fear of offending?!

Now that is absolutely repulsive. Dutch ovens are surely the remit of teenage boys and idiots.

TooHotMyIcecreamHasMelted · 04/07/2026 13:22

Redflagsabounded · 04/07/2026 08:35

Deliberate farting by other people is revolting no matter who does it. I think you have a weird family to be honest, it's not normal for men to do this.

🙄

Ladybyrd · 04/07/2026 13:29

YANBU but each to their own. I don’t fart in front of my partner and likewise. Not when we’re awake anyway (Jesus Christ - all bets are off when he’s sleeping through (and probably - likewise!). I wouldn’t go off like that though. He sounds like a berk.

G5000 · 04/07/2026 13:37

I think you are simply incompatible. If my now Dh would have 'let it rip' 2 months in the relationship and then proudly cackled how smelly it is, like some people on this thread - I don't think it would have been in the intrerest of either of us to continue this relationship.

NegativeFreak · 04/07/2026 14:13

FeliciaFancybottom · 04/07/2026 13:20

Now that is absolutely repulsive. Dutch ovens are surely the remit of teenage boys and idiots.

You're entitled to your opinion 😂
💨💨💨

MidnightMeltdown · 04/07/2026 14:29

Has your new DP farted in front of you before, or is it just your brothers? I’m not sure that you should be following your brothers behaviour tbh!

Your DPs reaction was way OTT, but at the same time, it would give me major ick if a new partner did this in bed with me. We go to the bathroom for that kind of thing!

Letting one go by accident is one thing, but I don’t think I could be in a relationship with someone who just free farted around the house on a daily basis. It would put me right off!

thesealion · 04/07/2026 14:32

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 04/07/2026 13:19

We're perfectly comfortable in our home thanks. We don't shit with the bathroom door open or pick our noses in front of each other either, does that make us uncomfortable as well?

Generally I want DP to find me attractive and want to sleep with me, and equally I want to find her attractive too. Not subjecting each other to the smell of shit if we can help it generally aids with that.

We also pick our noses and sometimes shit with the door open 🤣🤣🤣

Specialneedsnightmare · 04/07/2026 14:39

At 2 months you're still in the exciting stage of dating where you usually want to show the best of yourself. It's too soon for farting, unless it's an accidental one which can't be helped. I hate farting in front of anyone ever, but i definitely wouldn't while dating! And a guy doing it would give me the massive ick.

StrawberryMatchaLatte · 04/07/2026 14:45

MrsBroccolini · 04/07/2026 11:43

I grew up with a brother. Have lots of exes. With current partner for 11 years and married for 5. I’ve never intentionally farted in front of him nor him me. They’re not totally hidden or never happen but it’s both done out of respect and to not kill all the sexiness.

If the occasional fart would ruin your sex life then it can't be that good to begin with..

IStillHearTheWaves · 04/07/2026 14:47

DotterOfBendigeidfran · 04/07/2026 12:32

We fart all the time and fall about laughing. We give stars (1 - 5) for loudness, prolonged sound, the startle factor, stench, ability to cling to soft furnishings etc.

Unclench those pearls and have a laugh.

Fine if that's your humour and you're both in on the joke. Not if one person is inflicting it on the other.

Obviously, everyone farts, but there's a difference between one slipping out and forcing one out.

MrsBroccolini · 04/07/2026 14:47

StrawberryMatchaLatte · 04/07/2026 14:45

If the occasional fart would ruin your sex life then it can't be that good to begin with..

of course not - we live together, stuff happens (not to mention noro, and all other things that happen) but I think full farting on purpose in front of the other would put me off someone certainly.