To have told my sister she was unprofessional and inappropriate? * [Content warning: concerns baby loss]

[Girlsonahill]

Without being completely outing, part of my sister's job involves going into lots of people's homes. We have a group whatsapp chat with our mum and although not the closest of sisters, generally talk most days get along fine. Today she posted a short video she filmed of a picture someone had up on their wall of their deceased baby and simply captioned "it's dead". This person was unaware she did this. I was horrified. gently told her I thought it was inappropriate and really unprofessional and I got a barrage of abuse back saying I was being judgemental and did I think I was the moral police. My mum said nothing presumably to keep the peace. She has form for being unable to accept any type of criticism but now I'm left feeling like I'm in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything. AIBU?

Your sister is horrible. I know you say that she is self-employed but if her role has a regulating body I would actually report it to them.

I know it's absolutely not the main point here, but what did she even find weird or amusing about a photo of a deceased family member on display? Loads of people have photos on their walls of parents, grandparents and other loved ones who are no longer with us - it's very normal. Stately homes even have massive portraits of ancestors who lived centuries ago proudly on display.

Aside from her pure nastiness, I genuinely don't even see why she thinks it noteworthy. If she were a compassionate person, she may notice it and feel a moment of condolence for the parents; but she clearly isn't, so why would she even care about some (to her) random everyday fixture?

For clarification I did actually challenge her response and let her know I was utterly disgusted. She told me its the most judgmental thing she's ever been sent and sent me a laughing face. She absolutely refuses to accept any accountability and she's always been this way. She is fiercely competitive, hates being wrong and unfortunately I hate to say it about my own sister, thinks everyone around her is beneath her

From what you have said, it's unlikely you're the only people she has shared these images with. She shouldn't be sharing any images of homes she's been in. What a horrible person.
Sorry that doesn't help you other than to re-assure you that you are right to feel what she is doing is wrong. I hope you delete all these images from your phone. I would mention to your Mum that your DSis is totally out of order

Again - please report her (anonymously if you can) here: National Trading Standards Estate and Letting Agency Teams - National Trading Standards . I believe you must. These poor people have already lost their baby. For someone to use their home, their loss and their privacy for clicks'n'giggles is inhuman and will cause immense suffering. Don't be the person who knows about this and does nothing. Please.

I would absolutely be outing her in public - whatever form of social media she uses. And as others have suggested, I would be reporting her to whatever regulatory body overseas her work if any. I'd also be minded to contact the police as well.

Disgraceful human being. One thing to take photos of someone's home, quite another to take photos of memories of their dead children and laugh.

Honestly, you must be so ashamed of being related to such vermin.

Sister or no sister I'd report it to her employer (and show them the videos), and get the bitch sacked.

Just seen your post that she's self employed. Name and shame her on all social media and if she has a regulatory body report her to them.

Her employment should be terminated.

Reply - I said what I said - deal with it. You're shouting at the wind.

Then leave an annoying emoji like this one 😌

Then mute the chat and let her scream at no one.

She sounds like psychopath - like honestly, who does that??

@Cheeseandolivesplease Does your job also not involve retracting your words when you're wrong?! You’ve misattributed someone else’s words to me and not corrected it. 🤔

Wow, sue me.

I'm beginning to think you're just trip-trapping here.

What a horrific thing to do. Is she a healthcare worker? She should find another job. That poor family.

Keeping the peace is how people feel emboldened to keep behaving badly. Keep the peace at what cost?

Well done for calling this out. She might not have liked the feedback but she will think twice now.

I would go as far as to report it to her employer. If she is providing a service in people homes, they must be vulnerable in some way. How can the public trust services if this behaviour goes unchecked? Well done. You did the right thing.

That is really really awful

She sounds like she has a personality disorder. Good thing she's a woman, if she was a bloke I bet she'd have a side line in serial murder.

The mum's probably scared if she gets on the wrong side of her she'll un-alive her for the inheritance when the time comes. I'd also be scared if I'd bred what is clearly a psychopath.

If me calling out your bad behaviour offends you… stop behaving badly!!

I’m angry at your sister OP. How dare she attack you? The healthy and correct response is ‘Do you know what, you are right. I won’t do that again. Thanks for feeling able to say it.’

She deserves to lose her job.

She probably thought that just sending it to you and your mother she would be safe . The fact you told her how unacceptable it is has put her on the defensive and she is trying to justify herself instead of just admitting that you are right .

She sounds like an utter dickhead, what a horrible thing to do.

I have a photo of my stillborn son next to my bed, so he's the first and last thing that I see everyday. I would be utterly broken hearted if someone took a photo and was sharing it with people I didn't know, it is such a personal thing.

People's homes are their safe spaces. Your sister is being very very unkind here at best.

Tauranga · Today 10:22
Inmyuggs · Today 00:10
Tell her to her boss and the person who's privacy and trust she broke.
What a utter bitch.
Really?

yes really

self employed estate agent.

Related or not, why would you want such a horrible person in your life? I would threaten to send screenshots to the company she works for (or if she owns the business then I would tell NTSELAT)

then block and get this toxicity out of your life!!!

Totally agree. The laughing about the state of people's houses should be enough this is RIGHT over the top.