“All the trimmings” - to find this quite vile?

[Penelopefly]

I’m away with my boyfriend at the weekend. In the course of messaging about our respective days, I’ve mentioned I am starting to pack. He said ‘remember some nice lingerie with all the trimmings’. I queried what trimmings meant - he clarified stockings and suspenders.

I feel like a piece of meat!

Has he just time warped from the '70's? Maybe send him back.

Giving him his portion? Like she's a vending machine? Yuck! How entitled!

Yorkies on your tits under the bra then when he asks why tell him it’s all the trimmings he’s asked for. Then leave him for being weird.

Do people really hate dressing up that much?! I love it.

To answer a previous poster - it’s not it being comfortable or that it turns a man on… it makes ME feel good and turns me on.

It’s a bit of fun but if it’s not your bag, it’s not your bag.

This comment wouldn’t have bothered me - even if I wasn’t intending to dress up. To be honest it would barely even register enough for me to think about it after that moment. Is hardly an outrageous or offensive suggestion.

I opened this thread hoping to have a giggle at someone being snooty a pub menu.
Here’s hoping this charmer has other redeeming qualities. Good luck. I would run.

Hilarious!

Stockings and suspenders aren't kinky! They're a very popular bedroom get-up for women who WANT to dress up like that. It's his expectation that has turned her off.

The replies saying "Oh, stockings and suspenders are old-fashioned, does anyone wear those anymore?" are making me laugh. Obviously no one wears them anymore, but they are available on the vast majority of underwear sites, including Marks, because people do wear them in the bedroom.

Probably not on demand, though. 🤮

Wouldn't really bother me, I feel sexy in stockings! But I haven't heard it called trimmings before.

Only you know whether this guy is a decent guy who respects you and phrased it this way for a bit of banter, or whether he’s just a knob that sees you as a piece of meat. Given your reaction to it, it seems it’s more the latter?

OP, good sex is sex that has the ENTHUSIASTIC consent of both parties. You are not enthusiastically consenting to wear that stuff, so don't. Communicate with him. Tell him that you felt expectations weighing on you when he said that and it made you shy and feel like you don't want to. And if it's turned you off sex with him, don't do it. And if you still want sex with him but he reacts badly to you communicating your feelings to him, and your enthusiastic consent wanes, don't do it. Sex is for both of you, just not him, and if he's turned you off with his clumsy request, I think you should be true to yourself and honour your feelings. But do communicate with him. Don't just feign a headache. Tell him the truth and let the cards fall where they may. It's the best way. Through this, you will get to know him a bit better.

This!

His comment makes him sound about 75, or have the values of that age group. Just yuck.

I’m afraid you’re about to be stuck in a hotel room for two days having the very worst sex of your life…

Yes I was expecting this thread to about a Sunday roast! 😆

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at this.
I have a stash of sexy underwear including stockings and other bits, and I have only worn them because I know my husband likes it and it turns him on, and he also says I look really fucking sexy in it so it makes me feel good too!
I don't think there's anything wrong with him suggesting he'd like to see you in some sexy lingerie. I thought that was pretty normal? Wouldn't most men?

Edited to add I also have never heard it called "trimmings" before, but I'd probably just take it he means "with bells on" type things and wouldn't think much else of it.

My vagina is clamped shut at the thought. Wear granny knickers or don't go.

Tools?! Blimey - the mind boggles at what you two might do with a screw driver and a few rawl plugs!

Because he likes lingerie? And what's wrong with being a sex worker? Some insanely judgemental weirdos on here. He only directly stated what he likes - what on earth is wrong with that. Women have voices. OP has the option of replying to say she doesn't want to make the effort for him.

Fucking finally. A sex-positive woman exists on here.

Depends on the context.

In the car heading to Tesco and you're not that into each other anymore = Sleazy.

vs.

Just the 2 of you in the bedroom excitedly sorting out your holiday packing, in good fettle with flirty chat as you still fancy each other and, dressing up is something you do when you have time for a 5* bonking session = building up some sexy fun holiday tension, embrace it!

(Yes, I said bonking....sorry pearl clutchers of MN but was bonking long before many of you were born and I'm not switching to medically correct terminology or the dreaded DTD now!)

God I forgot how much everyone hates sex here. Wearing lingerie is kinky 🤣 It’s about as normal as you can get. If you don’t like it tell him, but it really isn’t something most people would be shocked or offended by, so it doesn’t make him some sort of pervert for asking.

Exactly this. He’s into you and is telling you he’d love to see you in sexy lingerie. If that’s not for you just say so.

you can find a man into vanilla sex
Implying a woman is boring because she doesn't want to dress herself up as a sex doll is pretty snidey and unpleasant.

Have you cancelled the weekend away?

Well yes…can you imagine asking anyone else to pack certain things..a friend…wear you good clothes? A parent ? Wear that dress I like? A woman to a new BF ..wear blue and restrictive clothes?

There is just no equivalence ..it’s creepy and demonstrates whose pleasure he is centering

Aww rubbish. If you really love sex you don’t need aids..like tired old cliche “sexy lingerie”…that’s for some saddo who needs revving up.

Pathetic. Plus it imposes a cost on the woman..nope …if you aren’t fully functioning without sexual cliches…it’s a fair indicator those sexual talents will be minimal

Kinky 🤣 good one 👍

Or to my sister - remember to pack your swimsuit, the one that looks really good on you, or to my friend - remember we're going out in the evening so pack something nice to wear, or to my husband - remember to pack your new Calvin Kleins. I call that just normal relationships where people can express themselves, knowing how it will be received. Within a sexual relationship I'd like to think both parties know each other well enough.