To ban SD from my en suite?!

[EasterEstherEgg]

I’m fuming!!

When I moved in with DH, an en suite was an essential on my list. I have DD12 and he has SS15 and SD17 and I don’t want to share my personal space with teenagers. They’re also not allowed in our bed.

Have come back from a work trip early to find SD getting out of my bath, with my shampoos, body lotions and creams laid out and my bloody dressing gown and slippers on and apparently she often does this when I’m away!

She - and DH and everyone else - are well aware my en suite is off limits. AIBU?

I would ban her from even entering my room with that lack of respect ! Wow

absolutely not, my db (14- large gap) knows he only needs to ask to use my skincare or for me to pick him something up (he has acne and i’m the family beauty/hair/fashion expert) but he also knows if he used it without asking he would be neutered like a hyperactive labrador🤣 i would put a lock on the door or leave a decoy for her to use……

Wouldn’t bother me, in fact dd2 usually uses the en-suite because dd1 and dsd lived with us so have “bedrooms” and dd2 if they are all here is in the extra room/study

You are not being unreasonable if the same rules apply to all kids, regardless of parentage

Do the other bathrooms have a bath? If not then I would say you are being unreasonable. If she has others baths she can use then, no you are not being unreasonable

This thread has been going for more than 24 hours. Do you seriously think your question has not been asked/answered? If you click 'see all' on the bottom of OP's first post, you'll see all the relevant information.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable about her using your products , or even the en suite at a push. They are your things, and your space and given the situation you described I think it’s fair to have those boundaries.

However you sound like you hate her! She’s trying it on as that’s what teenagers do, she’s pushing it and being disrespectful but show me a teenager that hasn’t done annoying things . It just sounds to be like you don’t like your SC and that is not great for anyone. Blended families are unbelievably hard and complex and sounds to me like you all beed different.

Thank you! ‘Hyperactive Labradoor’!!!!! 😂😂

I can understand that you are okay with DD2 using your en-suite. I assume she was respectful, though. She wouldn't wait until you were away to sneak into the en-suite, wouldn't use your expensive facial cream on her legs, wouldn't make a habit of using your bathrobe and slippers, and would leave the bathroom tidy.

"However you sound like you hate her!" It sounds like OP hates how her SC treats her (she is very disrespectful), but that does not mean she hates her.

In your case it would be the last straw for me. Your step kids sound difficult and your husband isn’t backing you up enough. I wouldn’t waste time living a life that doesn’t make me happy. The repeated breaches of boundaries and lack of respect would grate on me.

For the sake of you and your young daughter‘s peace of mind I’d end this misery and separate.

I’m confused. She shouldn’t be using your products, but I wouldn’t go mad about her using the bath in the en-suite.

In your shoes l would probably do similar in all fairness. I wouldn’t tolerate this level of disrespect and obnoxiousness off my own children. Zero chance with step children. He can go Disney Dad and cocklodge elsewhere. The current set up sounds like a nightmare, including the subsiding of everyone

Thank you Mother Theresa.

So if you split who will look after dd while you work away 2/3 days a week

She is a child.
OP is a grown woman with a family who wants to bin her family off over some over priced face cream.

My kids would ask but also aren't banned from rooms or shouted at for having an overpriced bath.

I am not saying the SD behaviour is ok. I am saying the OP is overreacting. If you move in with other people's children it's going to be hard.

Then she needs to explain that to the child. Threatening to leave because your stepdaughter, who probably admires her, uses her stuff is hyperbolic.

So does having an en suite make a parent territorial about it? Genuine, curiosity question as I've never had one so have always shared one bathroom as a family.

I can imagine I would prefer no one else to use it as would like to keep it the way I want it to be but if any DC fancied a bath in it then that would be fine?

Shiseido! Are you for real!.
What’s wrong with Simple or CeVe for teenagers.

If you want it you earn it.

I would be furious! They know the rules, you more than provide for them. What an invasion of privacy! To wear your bathrobe and use your products too! I'd be tempted to lock everything i own away then the realisation would hit that I can't trust the people in my own home and I'd probably kick the lot of them out for being complicit!

I would be fuming! You don't go using someone's stuff without permission, especially not wearing their clothes.

The obsession is talking about spending large amounts of money on products for her step children. The horror at a 17 y o moisturising her legs with overpriced moisturiser.
Would you leave because your SD had a bath and used your stuff?
She seems to be implying she is untouchable (nits, athletes foot etc).
Poor girl.

I’d be done, too, @EasterEstherEgg it is the disrespect.