AIBU to think a 9-year-old boy can use the ladies with mum?

[aliceyyyy2654]

An AIBU on behalf of a friend who told me this story today.

my friend was out with her two children (DS aged 9 and DD aged 6). She took both with her into the ladies loo in her shopping centre. When she was done and the kids were washing their hands an old lady came up and told her it was unacceptable for a ‘young man’ to be in the women’s toilets as he was not a girl. This kid is 9!!

She was rather upset and embarrassed and hurried out and her son asked her why she was being shouted at.

When she told me this story I told her to ignore it and to continue taking her young children into the women’s with her when their dad isn’t present.

AIBU to think that a 9 year old boy should be able to go into the women’s with his mum as it is much safer than going into the men’s alone?

Until they’re available parents need to do what they think is best.

I did all the above and thought it wasn’t a problem. Turns out it was.

Bloody hell white rose in Leeds? That’s is just horrendous 😩😩😩😩 wow that is just terrible.

I drew the line once my sons hit double figures. 9 is still too young for me.

Well done you for navigating it,
aren’t you clever 👏 .

My 12 year old had a very sketchy encounter at the theatre. Male and female toilets only. He got out of there sharpish.

It’s not about feeling anxious. It’s about keeping children safe and parents acting on their instincts and carrying out safeguarding as they see fit.

God poor kid. Hope he’s ok. What the hell is wrong with men? This happened back in the 90’s. They never caught the man that did it.

It was in the 90’s but yes. It’s never left me. I’m worried about outing my cousin so may have to go back and delete post where I mention which shopping centre.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm not sure parents doing what they think is best should be a free for all though. I mean, if I think it's best my 16 year old son comes in with me, is that okay? There has to be a line drawn somewhere. A 9 year old in a cubicled bathroom doesn't bother me but I don't feel comfortable in unisex bathrooms. There needs to be provision made for families to avoid these kind of situations. There were options for me with sons years ago, so I'm surprised it hasn't just got better.

He’s fine now, but absolutely insists on taking his younger brother in to the toilet whenever possible (his younger brother is 10). I know there has to be a line, but 9 isn’t it. Sorry to hear he didn’t get caught 😢 .

It happened to my son in a bus station with me stood outside. I’ve no idea where the flashing he experienced happened but one thing I do know, he won’t be alone. I lived in a blissful bubble unaware
for quite some time.

So your son was equipped to navigate it then?

Newsflash: You dont' have to be in a bathroom to have sketchy encounters. I'm sure this is something all women are aware of and have encountered.

Safeguarding 9 year olds isn’t a free for all.

Literally no one has said it’s okay for 16 year olds?

Unbelievable.

Well there isn’t so parents will do what they need to do.

He was equipped at TWELVE
he wasn’t NINE ???

Newsflash - of COURSE you can have sketchy encounters anywhere, I mean how thick can you be. Seriously.

Zero empathy for children.

As has been said, parents need to do what they feel they need to do. So that can be applied to any age.

To be fair, anyone with a parent isn't going to bother me in the bathroom. I'd assume an older child with a parent in the bathroom had some sort of good reason for it (parental anxiety of much older children not being one of them).

I hope you don't pass your anxiety onto your child.

I have 3 sons, my eldest is nearly an adult so he obviously uses the mens bathroom. My other son's are 8 and 2, and let me say this very clearly. My 8 year old will continue to come into the ladies bathroom with me UNTIL I am comfortable he will be safe in the mens bathroom. My son's safety is more of a priority to me than any other woman's feelings.

I am not going to allow my son's to become preyed upon by creepy men just to satisfy another woman's comfort.

I don't care who takes an issue with that.

What by taking him in to the toilet with me at age 9? Lmao 🤣 don’t be daft. Its called basic care and supervision.

Call the police? What for? What crime is being committed? I'd love to listen to that conversation. Quick, get the police here. A 9;year old boy is using the ladies toilet with his mum and sibling.
What are you expecting the police to do? Or are you just trying to make them laugh?

That poster is extremely misinformed about the law as they have demonstrated multiple times on this thread.

How incredibly patronising. Again.

You have an odd view on what happens in the men’s. You do know men don’t walk around the men’s loos showing their penis to everyone right? That no one sees another man’s penis at all unless they were to stand next to a urinal and stare at which point they would be kicked out and you would need to be taught some basic etiquette.

Absolutely fine, clearly a woman is at less risk of a 9 year old boy with him Mum than a 9 year old boy in the male toilets.

I know! Anxiety is the last thing be I feel. Rage yes and a determination that the safeguarding of children be a priority but anxiety no. Families and sufferers of abuse aren’t anxious little beings to be patronised. Most have had to endured more than many and have needed a huge amount of strength and resilience to do so.

What abput the boys that go out withput an adult? Maybe not 9... but 10,11, 12... should tbey also go in the womens? Or even not leave the house at all unaccompained.