AIBU to think a 9-year-old boy can use the ladies with mum?

[aliceyyyy2654]

An AIBU on behalf of a friend who told me this story today.

my friend was out with her two children (DS aged 9 and DD aged 6). She took both with her into the ladies loo in her shopping centre. When she was done and the kids were washing their hands an old lady came up and told her it was unacceptable for a ‘young man’ to be in the women’s toilets as he was not a girl. This kid is 9!!

She was rather upset and embarrassed and hurried out and her son asked her why she was being shouted at.

When she told me this story I told her to ignore it and to continue taking her young children into the women’s with her when their dad isn’t present.

AIBU to think that a 9 year old boy should be able to go into the women’s with his mum as it is much safer than going into the men’s alone?

What parts of the female body do you think he's getting to see at the communal sinks that he's not seeing in the street?

You are insane. He's not lying on the tiled floors looking under the stall doors, is he?

I wouldn't feel safe or comfortable going into the men's toilets with my son. I have also never ever seen a woman do this. I also imagine my presence would make men using the public visible urinals highly uncomfortable for many reasons. I promise you though - my future 9 year old boy will not be a risk to any women or girls whilst supervised by me in the ladies toilets full of private cubicles. If you genuinely feel threatened by that - how on earth can you ask me to take him into the men's?! How? I repeat. Make it make sense

👏👏👏👏 haha excellent. Couldn't agree more. Some exceptionally dim posters on this thread

Please can you address the point of girls’ privacy and comfort? Why should girls “budge up” for boys and share their space with them?

Speak for your own kids! My boys weren’t in the slightest bit interested in girls bodies at age 9. Still you no doubt see all boys as one homogeneous mass all conforming to your gender stereotypes.

Well this thread shows very clearly that challenging older boys and their mothers when they're in the ladies is the only way to get them to shift.

As someone whose male cousin was raped in the gents at the white rose centre in Leeds in the 90’s, I still take my 10 year old in with me - straight in the cubicle no messing about and hands washed straight out. No big deal.

If that's the bar you're using then most 13 year old boys would still be using the ladies.

Even this would not get me to shift 😂

He needs to go in the men’s. HTH

I don't feel like I'm sharing anything particularly sacred with young boys when they come into "my space" to wash their hands (since anything more private happens behind a cubicle door anyway).

Nevertheless, that’s why.

It seems i'm in the minority now because there is no way I am allowing my 9 year old to be around men, with their penis out, unsupervised

You’re making boys out to be horrible monsters.

”luring little eyes”?! wtf. Awful comments.

You’re not the full ticket and clearly don’t have a son this age. Not only is a 9 year old not leering as you put it, but what is it exactly they’re going to see in the ladies? Because in the last 47 years I’ve never seen another woman in a state of undress at the sinks….have you? The only thing a 9 year old boy is interested in is how to weedle the money out of you for the new Peely skin on Fortnite.

Me either.

9 is far too old.
I have challenged a few boys in tge ladies toilets or changing rooms, i ask them whether they are a girl.

Absolutely no way in hell. Until he’s old enough to hit an adult back hard, he will not be in the gents unsupervised. If I can, I take him in with me. If it’s a single room bathroom I stand outside the door. If there’s no choice but for him to use the gents I stand outside and call in loudly ‘are you ok son? I’m going to wait right here for you’ because we all know it only takes the wrong man seconds.

I pray you do this to me and my son so I can absolutely slap you down.

Well you could say the same thing of a 49 year old man-what are they going to see?
Females do not have to justify why they don't want males in female only spaces.

I don't feel like I'm sharing anything particularly sacred with young boys when they come into "my space" to wash their handsI

CurlewKate asked about girls. Are you a girl?

How would you do that?

If you tried to embarrass my child just for using the bathroom, you would leave in no doubt of the error of your ways my dear. Nasty karens challenging children? Shocking. You need to mind your own business or you’ll challenge the wrong person one day.

all this privacy and comfort joke.

I’m female and am not terrified of a young boy. All he’ll see is me walking into the cubicle, coming out and washing my hands. I would not feel violated.

I feel more violated when young girls wear teeny tiny skirts that barely cover their bum cheeks and I can see their underwear. Yet somehow this is ok. Where’s the privacy and dignity in that?

what a world we live in.

we should be protecting all of our children. It’s not a competition of girls vs boys.

lots of things can be true at the same time. I think most people I come across in the real world are normal and accepting of children with their parents going to the toilet.

safety first.

If 9 is far too old, what age is the correct answer in this scenario?