To get a pet without asking DH?

[ThisAmpleCritic]

My mood is rubbish. Pet therapy is good, supposedly. DH does not want a pet. AIBU to get a pet without asking him? Just come home with one like “I DID A THING!”

ETA: I know a pet is not “just for Christmas”, I would love it dearly

As it should be 😆

Thinking of it calmly, why would you go bonkers? Why is a pet the end of the world?

Because its a decision that shd be made as a family. Its financial responsibility, could be years looking after a pet that you don't want or like then that would be cruel.... so yes, is go bonkers!!

This!
Why does the no trump the yes?

So is he single and a happy rat owner, or still with you with simmering resentment?

If you went for a senior or adult cat, through a rescue, the rescue would be able to tell you if they’re cuddly or aloof ☺️

They're all too precious about their show homes that their DH who's not allowed the pet pays for.

I feel you! My discus keep dying 🥲

Definitely not.
You are asking for trouble.
Needs complete agreement.

Don't do it.

YABU, sorry — and I say that gently.
A pet isn't a haircut or a spontaneous purchase you can surprise someone with. It's a 10-15+ year commitment that lives in your shared home, costs money out of a shared budget, needs care from both of you especially when one of you is busy/ill/travelling, and DH has apparently already told you he doesn't want one. Coming home with an animal as a done deal isn't "I did a thing," it's presenting him with a fait accompli about a major shared-life decision he explicitly said no to. That's not really about pets at that point — it's about whether his input counts when you don't like the answer.
It also risks the actual thing you want, which is a companion that helps your mood. If DH is resentful or anxious about an animal he never agreed to, that tension in the house isn't exactly therapeutic, and it's not fair on the animal either, landing in a home where one owner didn't consent to it being there.
I hear that your mood is rough and I'm not dismissing that — wanting something that reliably makes you feel better is completely understandable, and pet therapy is a real thing. But the way there is talking to DH about why you want this, not routing around his answer. Ask him what's behind the no — cost, care burden, allergies, bad past experience, just not a pet person — because that tells you whether it's negotiable (a different type of pet, an agreement on who does what, a trial period) or a genuine dealbreaker for him. If it's the latter, that's worth knowing before you're both attached to an animal and arguing about it.
If the low mood is sticking around regardless of a pet, it might also be worth mentioning to your GP — not instead of what you're doing, just as another avenue.

I understand how you feel and I'm sympathetic, but bringing a vulnerable living person into a home where s/he is not wanted by one of the family, is cruel. A pet is not an object.

These goady threads are always started by people with 3 word user names. I call bullshit.

I have done this with all our (my) pets. I do all the looking after and pay for everything. After 15 years, he's got used to it and he knew what he was getting into from the start.

I wouldn't recommend it for everyone though, at the end of the day an animal is a huge commitment and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Because I don't want one. The End.

The longer version is I don't like dogs. I don't want them near me and definitely not in my home, it's bad enough they're everywhere else. And I don't want the responsibility or expense - vet visits and bills, buying food, taking them for walks, picking up poo, training them.

Just no. I do like rabbits and guinea pigs, but most of the above still applies. It's still a responsibility and cramps your style and you can't go away when you want to.

I always find it quite telling that one of my relatives always moaned that her other half wouldn't let her have a cat because he didn't like them. However, when she divorced him, she never got one. She "borrowed" the neighbours' cats (or more accurately they borrowed her) but she didn't get her own.

If someone really wants a dog they can always find a local dog walking charity and walk them for people who can't.

You need this op

https://kumikocatlounge.com/

I managed to crash my cycle not long ago and lost over half of my fish. Have you figured it out? I bought some of that goop live bacteria and seem to have fixed my issue.

It's an actual living thing that is dependent on it's owners forever. It's not a new set of curtains.

Even if the wife genuingely does 100% of the pet care (which in all honesty is unlikely), having a pet still impacts on the husband eg having to think about pet care if they want to go away.

Plus, the husband might just not want to share his space with an animal and that's perfectly valid.

My daughter and I want a cat. My husband is adamant that he doesn't want to. He has been unwell in hospital and has had some memory loss. We could easily have got a cat in that time and said he'd agreed to it and he would have believed us.

But it's like having a baby. The person who says no gets the final say.

I would tell him you’re thinking of getting one first, if it’s a cat then great, he doesn’t have to do anything to look after a cat they’re easy enough. However, if he doesn’t want it will he resent it and treat it badly? Our cat is baby of the house because we all wanted her. My DH is desperate for us to get another, but we have decided against it as our cat is too old to accept a kitten or another cat. If he brought one home without consulting me, I wouldn’t be happy.

Because not everybody likes pets or wants one in their home. Especially not cats. They are awful things that climb over everything.

Some people are petrified of rodents. Absolutely disgusting to bring one into the home without everybody agreeing.

But your options show your bias. You forgot 3) “she is still living in the home with rats simmering with resentment.

Cool sexism.