AIBU to move far away after years of free childcare from Mum?

[GentleHazelHelper]

My Mum provided free full time childcare at our home for our 2 kids from the time they were born. Now that they are school age, we really don't need her anymore. So we are thinking of moving to a city that is by the ocean, and close to mountains. Not really for better jobs---we just think it would be cool to live there. This place is about 2500 km away from her. AIBU to think this is our right to do this, and that my Mum should approve?

I have and I told you I did search and can only find that one post you mentioned plus one where she talks about a 10 and 13 year old. What username has she posted the other stuff under because it’s not her current one?

Goodness you need your handheld

Selfish, if real.

Oh dear god. What is your problem exactly? That your daughter has chosen to move somewhere more suitable for her family?
As a mother, I couldn’t ever imagine trying to make that all about me 🙄
(I wonder why she moved so far away…)

My god, that is literally the one you posted upthread that does not say that the arrangement ended because the OP struggled with it at all. It says she found it difficult because she never got a break and was working 50 hours a week doing childcare, 50 weeks a year. So there are no other posts then?

So you concede that you were entirely
wrong that I was making up anything?

apology accepted

So I’m not making it up, thanks

Op how long ago did you stop doing the childcare? And since then… have you still spent much time with them?

Reverses never work because it’s clear you’ve put your own spin on it to make us take your side. Better just to be honest.

I do sympathise but equally I don’t think you can reasonably expect your daughter to stay local just because you helped with childcare. That’s far too high a price- she needs to be free to live her own life and make decisions for her family. Trying to stop this is only going to make things worse.

Would you consider moving with her? Ocean + mountains sounds great.

You made up that the arrangement ended because the OP struggled. I never said the post itself was made up.

The arrangement ended
The Op said how much she struggled

now…. note the question mark

And you struggled so it ended some time ago?

goodness

You can put the bins out the night before

Woah…. Just seen your history. You have
Posted dozens of times about childcare and mainly about how wrong it is for grandparents to be expected to pick up free childcare

Ok I’m going to back away now very slowly…

In this one she said it ended when the kids went to school. The sentence you typed made it sound like it ended because she struggled.

OP do you also have a 13 yo and a 10 yo and a full time job?

Good, don’t let the door hit you.

and yeah I’d say letting your mum do 50 hour weeks so you can save money is selfish af.

I live in the coast and we all call it the ocean!!! That’s what it is, the Atlantic Ocean!

Spend that inheritance

I feel sorry for you as you’ve built a strong bond with those grandchildren. Do they definitely no longer need you to babysit at all for date nights? Do they not care that you’ll no longer have a close relationship with them? There’s nothing you can do as it’s their choice, but it shows how little they thought of you. You were just a free baby sitter and now you’ve served your purpose, they have no other use for you now. It sucks and it’s not fair.

To be fair, different devices and apps give very different results. I may as well not bother searching or auto searching on my iPad/phone.

I don't think a GP should ever offer or give childcare and expect something in return. It is unreasonable to expect your grown up children to stay close to where you live. They should make their own life and if they think there is a better life elsewhere in the world then they should have the right to go there. It really shouldn't come into the equation that you gave free childcare. You could have said no. Give them your blessing and let them go.

Whilst on the surface, it's a little callous to you, think of the benefits to your grandchildren of being by the sea, having access to fresh mountain air and an outdoor lifestyle.

If you are retired, why not look at living nearby, at least for part of the year?

💯

I too think its a reverse and I’m sorry your child is considering doing this for you but also for your grandchildren who will no doubt miss you.Maybe it’s for a better quality of life? Better opportunities? I hope they have some support where they are intending to go because not having it will be a shock to the system.

I think you’ve been taken for granted and probably a bit of a mug OP. If your daughter couldn’t afford childcare she shouldn’t have had kids. No one should have kids expecting grandparents to be an unpaid skivvy. I also think she’s been heartless, I’d never take my kids away from their grandparents