To love having a girl?

[NutellaPancakes123]

I’ve never said this to anyone as I worry how it would come across.

I have a boy who is 9 and a girl who is 4. When I had my boy I was overjoyed, I actually wanted a boy and I used to tell myself I’d be happy if I had another boy. But I’ve always been a girls girl myself growing up, very pink, Barbie, make up etc.

i love them both completely equally. As little humans they both are amazing to me my boy is clever, loving and I adore him. But I just LOVE having a girl. I sometimes think my god, I’ve actually got a girl. I still almost pinch myself that I can wander the girls aisles and I can buy things with unicorns on and I can have a Barbie house in my home! I just love having this little girl and saying “girls day!” after the boys have been able to say boys day before she was born. I feel no one else seems to say this though. I don’t know I just feel so lucky I get to experience having a girl.

is this odd?

I have a son and a daughter. I love having them both and have let them lead on what they like. Neither of my kids would have appreciated a Barbie house, in fact my daughter hated all dolls. She had a big sylvanian families house as she loved animals.

They both liked some stereotypical boy and girl things, but also liked other things less stereotypically for their sex as well. I think that’s what usually happens if they don’t have things pushed on them.

Just to add, my son and daughter are 22 and 18 now and really close. I don’t think it’s being the same sex that makes siblings close, it’s more to do with how you bring them up, encourage but let them build their own relationship, their personalities etc. My children are quite different to each other but best of friends, and other than me and their dad, they are the first person they turn to when they need advice.

Weird.

I voted yanbu because I do understand it, I feel extremely lucky to have a boy and a girl and I always tell them both how lucky I am.

But I do feel extra lucky to have my DS, my first DS died 2 hours after he was born, I'd always known I was going to have a daughter, I had her name picked from 18 and had her at 23. I never expected to have a son. I never expected my first to die and I honestly do feel so so blessed to have another chance at raising a little boy

Nobody knows the future 🤷‍♀️ But for now they both love dance, theatre, gymnastics and cheerleading 🙌

Each stage of each sex is different. I have one of each who are now adults, and when they have their own children I imagine I’ll have more input with my dd’s kids.

‘tis interesting. The general consensus on ‘gender disappointment’ thread is that it fades once you have the child. Does the reverse work, a sort of gender delight or euphoria?

To be honest I did really want a girl with my second pregnancy, although another boy would have been loved and cherished as much. But I do have a little buzz of joy I have a girl, as I really didn’t think I ever would.

And given your inherent biases, and the way you've expressed them as you've brought your children up, this will absolutely be the case. Its a self-fufilling prophecy.

I think it’s joyous that you get to enjoy girlie things all over again, with your daughter.
please don’t let anybody guilt trip you out of your joy.
the vast majority of girls like girlie things, this is obviously to all. Being happy is wonderful, and nobody should attempt to sour the sweetness.
protect your joy at all costs! Congratulations. 💜

I have one of each and I think you are bonkers.

My children's sex is the least interesting thing about them.

p.s I am a big time girlie girl

As long as you’ll be happy if she ends not liking pink unicorns in a Barbie house. I know women with mothers who were never really able to hide that they were disappointed in their “not girly enough” daughter.

Yabu. The girl is obviously the golden child. Your poor son.

These threads celebrating girls always attract misogyny and derision at all things girly because they’re oh so vacuous and insignificant in comparison to the important boy things like cars and building things and mud…. Don’t think we’ve had “wait until they’re teenagers” yet but it’s probably coming.

I actually agree it’s frustrating when people reduce the joy of raising girls to being able to shop in the pink aisle and buy unicorns instead of tractors. Because it’s so much more than that to me. There is something undeniably special about getting to experience girlhood again in whatever form that takes. Sometimes it is unicorns. But it’s also literally everything else.

It’s probably the same for men and their sons but being a woman and being able to raise another is an experience I would be disappointed not to have.

Your poor, poor son. My heart breaks for him and I have a girl myself.

No reason to impose gender stereotypical beliefs upon them - let them wear a blue T-shirt with a tractor on it, play football and spacemen. They will still be a girl!

This was me... My mother was delighted her 2nd child (me) was a girl. A lot less delighted though when around the age of 5 or 6 I stopped liking all the girlie things she'd foisted upon me, I refused to wear dresses/pink stuff, do dancing lessons etc, and instead wore my brother's hand-me-downs, played with the local boys, jumped out of trees, and generally was the opposite of a girlie girl.

Our relationship never recovered and we were never close, because her dreams of what she wanteuher daughter be like were in ruins.

Op, clearly you adore your daughter, but make sure let you let her be her own person rather than the image you seem to have in your head.

I came to say similar!

I love having my boys, football, cars, cricket, designer shopping and a love of pets with one.

Musical theatre, gardening, houseplants, ballet, clothes shopping, cooking, sewing, charity and vintage finds with another.

Boyfriends and girlfriends add to the dynamic of our family.

I don’t think it’s odd as you describe yourself as a “girls girl” so I guess it makes sense that you would be excited by more stereotypically “girly” things? I have 2 girls and can’t relate to what you’re saying to be honest. But then I’m not interested in any of the things you listed (the colour pink, Barbies or makeup)

However my oldest daughter has recently gotten interested in Polly Pockets and that’s taken me right back to my childhood and I’ve really been enjoying playing with them!

the vast majority of girls like girlie girl things, this obvious to all

Well not really. The vast majority of girls are socialised to conform to gender stereotypes, but that's not really the same thing. If it was then what girls "like" wouldnt change in response to social media trends. Don't remember many preteen girls being obsessed with having flawless skin and skincare regimes 40 years ago fi.

Have you even given them the opportunity to try activities like football, playing with train sets

I’m not imposing anything. You are imagining that.

What am I imagining? Have you given your DD the opportunities for other activities/clothing or just those you consider “girly “

I’ve got two girls and I absolutely love it and feel so lucky to have them. However, I can’t say I was fussed about what sex I had when I was pregnant and I think if I’d have had two boys I’d have absolutely adored them and felt lucky to have them. It doesn’t really matter, does it?!

A bit stereotypical.

I have a boy and girl. Dd had a Barbie dream house for a bit. I can’t say I was overjoyed, the bloody thing was massive. She’s into football right now. Wants her pink bedroom that she chose aged 5 to be changed to blue now she’s 10. Won’t wear dresses. I love that she is happy to be herself. I hope you’ll be ok if your dd stops conforming to girly stereotypes too

Hopefully. My daughter is one of many girls who love football.

I love having girls too but not really for the stereotypical stuff, I’m not a girly girl and neither are they really. My reasons are more to do with those kind of female to
female relationships, that shared sense of ‘womanhood/girlhood’ I suppose, and probably in part to do with the wonderful relationship I had with my late mum (and the poorer relationship I had and have with my father).