To love having a girl?

[NutellaPancakes123]

I’ve never said this to anyone as I worry how it would come across.

I have a boy who is 9 and a girl who is 4. When I had my boy I was overjoyed, I actually wanted a boy and I used to tell myself I’d be happy if I had another boy. But I’ve always been a girls girl myself growing up, very pink, Barbie, make up etc.

i love them both completely equally. As little humans they both are amazing to me my boy is clever, loving and I adore him. But I just LOVE having a girl. I sometimes think my god, I’ve actually got a girl. I still almost pinch myself that I can wander the girls aisles and I can buy things with unicorns on and I can have a Barbie house in my home! I just love having this little girl and saying “girls day!” after the boys have been able to say boys day before she was born. I feel no one else seems to say this though. I don’t know I just feel so lucky I get to experience having a girl.

is this odd?

I don’t know if it’s odd but I certainly don’t feel that way and I am a girls girls like you described. You say you love them equally and I’m not saying you don’t at all I wouldn’t be able to make that judgment from one post but from an outsider looking in based on this one post it does feel like you have a favourite. Again, not saying this is the case but just stating how this post comes across to me!

Yes - I think it is odd. I have DT’s b/g. Clothing and activities were chosen for age appropriate not because they were a boy or girl. Both wore pinks, played football, invented make believe unicorns in the treehouse at the end of the garden, played kitchens and dinosaurs .

Yeah it is odd. I hope you didn't want a girl for the frilly dresses and barbies?

I love having a girl although we are more horses / outdoorsy than Barbie/make up

I only have one DC so don’t need to worry about having a favourite though

My sister had a boy, I thought I would have a boy and was a little weirded out when I found out I was having a girl, but happy all the same. I only have one child so I don’t know how it feels to be mum to a boy, but having had experience looking after two boys (nephew and great nephew) I much prefer having had a girl. Maybe it would be different as I would have raised a boy in my own way, but my relationship with my daughter is so good in a way I don’t think I would have had if she was a boy. It’s not about “girlie” stuff, we never did any of that, it’s about a shared experience and an empathy I couldn’t have the same way with a boy.

I love having a girl too. She shaves her head and reads feminist literature and dresses like an aged male librarian. She's fantastic company, astute and ascerbic, curious about the world and determined.

I love having a boy too. I love his fashion sense. He's a Victorian fop and likes vintage charity shops and steampunk. He's sensitive and musical, acts and reads and likes to grow his hair long and is interested in skin care and grooming.

I like them. They don't fulfil the stereotypes you're using to raise your DC but they have unique and fascinating personalities.

It's nice that you seem to have a lot in common with your DD but is that because she's a girl, is it because you're raising her using those gender norms or is it because you're just similar due to being related?

I don't think it's odd to have the feelings you feel.

I do think it's odd to make it a cornerstone of things. You write " I feel no one else seems to say this though," do you need them to say it to make your own feelings valid @NutellaPancakes123 ?

YABU.

YANBU. I have two girls and I feel so lucky every day that they’re girls. I’m so grateful.

Theyre the best of friends, they love matching outfits, cute hairstyles, lots of pink and frills and unicorns. It’s everything I dreamt about when wanting children.

I wasn’t sold on a third, but one of the huge factors against a third for me was that it could have been a boy. I got lucky twice and they’re so close that I didn’t want to jeopardise that.

I have 2 boys (men now)
When they were small we had a dolls house (not Barbie though), pink things, unicorns, dolls prams and so on.

DS1 had a unicorn themed 16th.

Im glad you're happy to have a daughter, but you don't need 1 one to buy any of those things. And there's no guarantee she'll like them! She might be a muddy, rugby fan like my friends DD wants to be but isn't allowed

God forbid you had a boy 🙄🙄

I totally get it. I already had two sons when I gave birth to my first daughter and I felt like I’d won the lottery.
It‘s absolutely nothing to do with loving my sons less or the opportunity to buy Barbies (my youngest son loved Barbies and had 8 of the bloody things and all the accessories) it was just I now have a daughter. Someone who will have a world experience similar to mine and who will understand when I talk to her about my life. She is now 18 and absolutely this is the case. I adore my sons and we speak all the time. I also have another daughter and son and I love them all equally. People thinking you don’t are absurd.

When my second son was born I felt like the luckiest person in the whole world. I did not care what sex either of my babies were. I just thought from the moment they were born that they were the most wonderful little humans to ever exist.

I am not sure this feeling is really about the sex of your children. I think that as you should, you think your children are brilliant.

Bloody hell my toddler girls are feral, my boy was much easier

I don’t think it’s notably odd to enjoy this aspect of your second child. I’m not particularly ‘girly’ and neither is DD but there are some aspects of having a child that’s the same sex as you which are nice.

While perhaps it’s unusual, I would just enjoy it, and count yourself lucky that you have a girl as well as a wonderful little boy. I have one of each and I feel so much joy that I have them, although I think I’d feel the same with 2xDD or 2xDS. I think you should be careful not to push gender stereotypes onto them and let them become their own people regardless of their sex.

I have a boy and twin girls. I love having them because they are them, nothing at all to do with their sex really.

But then I'm not at all a 'girls girl' and I plan to avoid Barbies for as long as I possibly can, hopefully forever.

Heaven help you if they discover a liking for football and come home covered in mud each week!

My girls are great, but I'd probably have felt the same about boys. I'm not into unicorns etc, but neither were my young adult dds.

How will you feel if your girly 4 year old grows up to reject all things pink and 'girly'. Maybe she'll crop her hair, get tattoos, dress in a more masculine way.

It sounds like this would upset you immensely OP!

I do find it odd to be honest. I have two DDs, one has always been quite 'girly' for want of another word. The other less so. I had lots of disagreements with my mother in law when DD chose spider man pyjamas, or went to a party in her chelsea football kit ... "why did you let her choose that", she would say.

I couldnt think of anything worse worse thst girl things personally not all girls are a cliche

Same with boys

But cars and building things and adventures are way more fun than being a cliched 'princess'

Girls can have adventures and enjoy 'boys things' but that ia not what parents seem to want when they speak of girls they want a doll

Thank God your little girl is such a mini-me eh? Imagine what a failed daughter she'd be if she didn't like pink/Barbie/unicorns.

What happens if you buy a unicorn for a boy btw? Do they dissolve?

Wow.

I think it's lovely you are celebrating having a girl.

Oftentimes on here you get faux 'I've found out I'm having a girl and I don't know what to doooo with a girl!' posts. Or artificially upbeat: 'I really hope I have another boy. I wouldn't know what to do with a girl!'

Because it's a bit vulnerable to suggest you might be excited by the possibility of having two children of the opposite sex.

Of course, it's silly to assume either sex is going to adhere to stereotypes, so it's a bit of a defensive stance I think.

How lovely to feel so lucky. It's joyous. Embrace it!

My boy was (and still is) a soft, gentle, easy going soul. My DD's are wild.

DD1 is a pre-teen and quite frankly it bores and terrifies me in equal measures what "girly" shit is out there for them at this age. Bum bum cream, Drunk Elephant, online beauty regimes actually aimed at pre-teens (who naturally have beautiful and unspoilt skin).

Trying hard to balance things actually and there is no way I'd actively encourage either of my DD's to subscribe to the current trends and fads. I hate how SM dictates 'being female' and despite still being able to limit SM at the moment I worry about the future.

I often think “oh I love having a daughter” (she’s 4) but I wonder if that’s really me just loving having just one child and having a child with a personality and interests that fit in well with mine, as opposed to loving her being a girl specifically - e.g we just went camping just the two of us, we called it “girls camping”, did a lot of lying in hammocks reading books, crafts, walking in the woods looking for flowers and bugs etc. I love all those things so I love having a little buddy to do it all with - but it’s not specifically “girly”. If I’d have had a girl that wanted to play princess dress up/hairdressers/insert any other stereotype I’d find that a bit more challenging as it’s not the sort of thing I’d choose to be doing. Who knows, she may become more stereotypically “girly” but I do love the phase we’re in now. I had cancer and can’t have any more children, but I feel at peace with that as I do think having just the one is amazing - girl or boy 🙂