Would I be embarrassing myself to ask for a discount or would you try? (School fees)

[Inftsouthwest]

I’m in my 40s and me and my brother went a private school throughout, obviously many years ago. I also have some connections with the school as a couple of relatives (though now passed) used to work there.

Me and ex recently split and I have moved back to the area. Prior to split we were in a position to afford school fees with relative ease. Now we have split and with the added vat, it is going to be a struggle.

For context my take home pay is 4,500 and ex is 5,600.

I thought of going to the new headmaster and asking if he would honour some sort of discount for DD. Nothing major but perhaps even 10% or something.

Would I be completely embarrassing myself here? I know private school is a controversial topic but I absolutely adored school and feel strongly about the wider experiences young people have with private education. I know I can express this with passion, because it’s completely true for me that I really believe in the system.

We would probably send her regardless of a reduction but as above it would be hard.

if he would honour some sort of discount

Thats not honouring anything. He’s not under any obligation that he has to honour. What you’d be doing is asking for a reduced rate.

Yes, me too!!

We would probably send her regardless of a reduction

Doesn’t that rather suggest that you probably wouldn’t qualify for a bursary? Because they’d see that you can afford it anyway? And because you don’t mention it, I assume you mean you’d send her anyway without needing to remortgage. So if the school also considers the equity in your house, you’d be quite a way off bursary level

OP, I have worked on the exec board of various large independent schools groups for years.

Discounts, scholarships and bursaries are all school dependent and fees are nearly always negotiable if you have a child they want.

Is your child particularly bright? Do they have a special skill (music, art, drama, sport)? Is the school particularly selective with a long waiting list?

I’ve seen bursaries offered to families where the main earner was on £100k due to high household outgoings. I’ve also seen 40% sports scholarships. My own children received 20% academic scholarships.

Your best bet is to just give the bursar a ring. Ask about the chances of being awarded a bursary before you go to the trouble of filling out all the forms and also enquire about scholarships. Don’t be embarrassed. They get these calls every day.

Would I be embarrassing myself to ask for a discount

probably, yes.

How do you know this if you didn’t go to private school? Do your kids go? It’s not about what DD will earn as a result of private, it’s about her experiences growing up

@Papercup thank you. I think dd is bright but I’m obviously biased and doubt I am being objective in that assessment! I will ring the bursar and ask about options. On the website it says no discount for scholarships though

@Papercup i know for primary there’s only 6 in the class at the moment so I don’t know if they would negotiate based on such a low number

@User97463 yes good points. Less concerned about this side of things though, pretty much all my good friends are wealthy, I went to this school too and my family’s wider wealthier friends etc are all connected. I do see your point but dd won’t go without the extras.

@WhatAMarvelousTune yes probably

@rushmat thanks for this insight. I am an anxious person and definitely feel it would be something I would worry about given how invasive it sounds. Hope your sister is ok.

@Kingdomofsleep agree we could probably manage it. I always like a discount though!!! More of a Tu clothing than brands etc

@GreenMarigold thanks. I think I might actually just ask this question directly!

I wouldn’t think a school with only 6 in a class was financially viable .

@tinyspiny this is in the prep. The 11 plus year groups have a few classes per year of around 16 kids

@CornishCornetto thank you. This is what I was asking about, what sort of situations are bursaries given. I expect due to homes and incomes probably not worth applying.

@dementedmummy thank you

@sweatymessi it sounds like you actually have to disclose your holiday plans etc though. Seems highly invasive

@SunSparkle worse now as each funding a separate home

@Franjipanl8r yes I agree, I think it is definitely something that I’ve grown up with the mindset that only private will do! I can’t change my mind though, I’ve tried!!

I would think the small class number would be to your benefit. If they have a classroom to run, the fixed costs are the same, so even at even at a discount, they're still making a profit from what you would pay.

That said, no, in the school where I'm a governor, your financials would be unlikely to be workable and we would put you through the process, which is unavoidably invasive. If your child had been there for a while and you'd had a change in circumstances we might work with you, depending on how much we wanted to keep the child, but that leads to tricky dynamics with other parents who are juggling to pay fees.

But it's worth a try, I guess.

OP the ones I know are quite invasive in that everything has to be disclosed & often an annual check, they can see via that what a holiday has cost etc.

Sorry… you have half a million in equity and almost £5k per month income and you think that you should be subsidised so your child can attend a school you claim to not
be able afford? Taking bursary funds from an actually disadvantaged child?.
Jesus.

My kids took an entrance exam. We were immediately offered a scholarship which meant we had a 50% discount.

Taking bursary funds from an actually disadvantaged child?

Really disadvantaged dc don’t tend to apply for bursaries, many don’t even know they exist or what they could get.