AIBU to wear a floral dress my brother's girlfriend calls white to their wedding? Part 2.

[princesspicker]

Old thread nearly full. Some of you are saying if people had seen the dress straight away the votes would be 99% against me, let’s see about that. At least half the other thread say it’s fine to wear this dress.

From the old thread:

My brother is getting married in three weeks and I’ve bought a fairly expensive dress for his wedding.

The dress: https://www.hobbs.com/product/carly-floral-dress/0126-5675-9022L00-CREAM-MULTI.html

BD’s gf (bride) saw a dress that is similar to my dress. She saw it at my mum’s. It has a pattern but with short sleeves and some ruffle. It is one of my dresses and I had left it at my mums house. It is not the dress I’ll wear for the wedding.

She called that dress white even though it has a pattern. She told mum that it would be inappropriate to wear for the wedding day. Mum and I think she pretended to think it was one of my mum’s options, since it was clearly not something mum would wear anywhere.

This all happened because my mum was showing her all the dress options she had in mind for herself for the wedding.

When bride raised this with mum, mum told her not to worry because she (mum) won’t wear white.

Which is true regardless of if you say the dress is white or cream or whatever.

After this happened, my brother started asking everyone what they would be wearing.

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5546975-aibu-to-wear-a-floral-dress-my-brothers-girlfriend-calls-white-to-their-wedding

You are provoking stress for your brother. You have already said that he has been checking with you about this. Why do you want to hurt him by causing trouble? Why?

I bet your brother and future SIL are dreading this wedding because of you and your mum, or they might even have a game of bingo with it '"wow mum told everyone she paid, sister is in white and dressed her daughter up like a flower girl, FULL HOUSE"

They are probably sick of your shit and looking forward to a life away from you.😂

Wow, just wow OP ( and no NOT in a good way )!!!

He will if his wife is upset on her wedding day!

Why upset your brother and gf when you don't have to? You also mentioned in the old thread about calling your wedding off as fiance was talking behind your back about your family. Have you noticed you are talking behind your sister in law's back? Your dress might be fine if you weren't in the bridal party, but you are. Swap it for a pink one or something different imo.
I also find it strange that you argued with everyone on the last thread. I think your sister in law may be keeping her in laws at arms length after the marriage!

OP, in this case the bride has said she considers that style/pattern of dress to be too bridal for wedding guests to wear.

Whether you agree with her or not is pretty much irrelevant. It would be a kindness, as well as good manners, to wear something else on the day.

If you wear it you will upset your brother and his bride on their wedding day.
Why would you choose to do that?
It’s just looking for trouble.
There are lots of lovely dresses out there.

oh go on

I have no idea who paid for royal weddings. Probably the tax payer, to a large degree, because they become state occasions with diplomatic implications. It's not like William and Kate could have fancied a destination wedding to a Greek island with their besties.

No, the person paying doesn't get "credit". Possibly the bride and groom thank them in the speeches for their support. But anyone making sure guests know who paid for their child's wedding costs in an insecure arsehole.

You're clearly bitter about your own cancelled wedding, and that your nearly-SIL chose not to have flower girls from your family at all, and didn't want to share the wedding dress details which your mother told you against her explicit promise not to and all manner of other complaints.

Do yourself, your brother and his fiancée a favour - just don't go to the wedding.

No one needs a vitriolic, bitter extended family member ruining a celebration of love and optimism.

I didn’t have bridesmaids or flower girls, I just wanted a small simple wedding. I would hate to think people thought I was self centred because I didn’t have any

I agree with you and your mum, @princesspicker. In your shoes though, I think I'd probably capitulate to Bridezilla to keep the peace, and just roll my eyes in private.

Even if I really disliked her, I wouldn't want to deliberately upset her on her wedding day to make a point.

Grit your teeth and be the bigger person.

No one sane is ever going to think that a woman getting married without bridesmaids is self-centred.

I don't think Charlie was wondering around waving his arms saying "I paid for all this"

Exactly, don't worry about that at all @sittingonabeach

You are so out of order, especially as the bride doesn't want you to wear it. What is wrong with you.

He will be very hurt if you turn up in a dress his bride has requested not be worn ie largely white or cream.

He will be very hurt if you give any hint of how you feel about his bride on their wedding day (and I will be amazed if you manage to conceal your dislike and contempt for her, to be honest).

He and his wife will be hurt if you and/or your mother make a point of telling people she's paid for their food and drink.

I think you're getting an unfair bashing here and the thread is going completely off piste in places. Going back to topic, I think its gorgeous and a perfect wedding guest dress. In the reviews for the dress, there are at least nine people who also purchased it to wear to a wedding. If it were all white with no pattern then your brother and bride to be would have a point, but its not so I think they are being a bit ridiculous.

I voted YANBU at first because I think the dress is fine but I'm changing my vote now I've read the whole thing because you are obviously cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!

this thread is wild
you are showing your utter dislike for your future SIL in each post you make

spoiling for a fight with everyone,

I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with the dress. I do think there’s a lot wrong with the OP’s attitude.

They won't have because I'm sure your guests were not batshit.

Unlike Ms It's My Mother's Wedding Too.

Anyone else remember the Outnumbered wedding episode where wee flower girl Karen kept going on about it being her special day?

Whether or not you and OP think they are being ridiculous about the dress really shouldn’t matter though 🤷‍♀️

It’s not a huge ask and it would be nice to keep the peace on their wedding day.

What a really shitty thing to say..

I can thank my lucky stars I have no one like you in my life

(also @BravasPatatas that's one of my favourite dishes!)

And mine 😁. Sadly the username was taken with the words the right way round!
It’s also an untrue thing that she said, but I’m not gauche enough to talk about how much was spent on our wedding 😉

I'll get blocked for this but this thread is the biggest pile of made up bollocks I've read for a long time, nobody can be this stupid.

Total made up rage bait

It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks of the dress, in this particular situation it's not suitable, because the bride and groom have already made clear what is and isn't appropriate for their wedding (their wedding OP, it's not anyone else's wedding). Their happiness on the day is the important thing here, so their wishes should be respected. Anyone who thinks otherwise shouldn't attend.